One of my roommates talks to her boyfriend on the phone almost every night, and the calls usually go on for a really long time, often starting around 11 p.m. and sometimes lasting until 1 a.m. Even though she’s not loud, the room gets really quiet at night, so I can still hear her voice and it makes it really hard for me to fall asleep.I actually talked to her about it before, and she said she’d try to keep it down or not talk that late. But honestly, it only lasted for one weekend — and that was probably because her boyfriend was visiting and she wasn’t in the room.
I even bought noise-canceling earplugs, but I can still hear her talking through them. It’s been really affecting my sleep, and I’ve got work and papers to do during the day, so I can’t afford to stay up that late or keep waking up in the middle of the night. I’m not sure how to bring it up again without making things awkward, but I really need her to either shorten the calls or move them to an earlier time, or at least keep her voice down at night. Do you have any suggestions on how I can talk to her in a way that’s respectful but also gets the point across?
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Literally be like, “Hey, would you be able to keep the volume down some, im struggling to stay asleep and really need the rest”. Like, it gets your point across, your not being insulting, your just asking someone to do something pretty standard. Its not like your asking them to hide a body? I dont see why this is even a question unless youve been around some shitty people who give no care about you.
Ask her to leave the room for the calls. She’s going to be awake anyway, so there’s no need for her to be in your room.
Look over at her when she starts the call and say “no!”
I assumed you are house-sharing but reading again… it sounds like you in the same room, like no walls between you? If so you are far too nice and your roommate needs to leave the room if they want to chat on the phone.
Honestly, it’s not rude to ask for that. If she wants to have long phone conversations at night, she needs to take them somewhere else. You’ve already tried to raise it nicely, and it’s disappointing she didn’t take the hint and is making things awkward- it’s about basic respect.
Could you get a fan for your room? Or maybe have some white noise?
If I were you I’d write her a letter, or for that matter just print out this post and give it to her. You can tell her you’re sorry, but you’re a light sleeper who needs something resembling quiet and silence in order to fall and stay asleep.
Could she go elsewhere in the apt. or house to conduct her calls?
You could try soundproofing your walls; they have easy to install foam-type tiles you can affix to your wall that would help.
Did you say you tried headphones or was it ear plugs? They make them at different ratings, providing a range of noise canceling effectiveness. Look for the highest noise canceling rating.
What about music? Could you play some calming sleep music in room to drown her voice out, or listen to it through ear buds?
Good luck!
It’s always so tricky navigating these things: when someone’s lifestyle or habits are interfering with your own functioning/health/well-being, but the person is more oblivious than malicious, and you need to get your point across loud and clear, without ruffling feathers…I feel for you
Put a box fan in your room nd turn it all the way up
Use a radio and sleep to talk radio. am, not fm.