Hello my American friends, I have a quick cultural question!
I’m from South Asia. In our culture, we do not wear shoes or sandals inside the house — we always take them off at the door.
Sometimes I have American friends come over, and they’ll walk in with their shoes on. I often hesitate to ask them to take their shoes off because I worry they might find it rude or uncomfortable.
So I just wanted to ask: how do you feel if someone asks you to take your shoes off before entering their home? Is it something you’re okay with, or would it feel strange or offensive?
Just trying to understand better — thank you!
Comments
pretty common
Your house. Your rules.
Perfectly normal to ask. Nobody I know kept their shoes on either though
People ask that all the time. It’s their house, most visitors would oblige.
No offense taken. Clearly state that you wish them to take their shoes off as soon as they arrive. Don’t make it a weird thing you mention halfway through the visit.
I wouldn’t be offended. In fact I go to some peoples house and they tell me to take my shoes off. While wearing shoes indoors is more common here, some people still prefer no shoes. I’d say that most people wouldn’t be offended.
Hey! To be frank, I never had a problem with this. I personally leave my boots, shoes, and anything that can track mud in front of my door.
Its also an American custom for some. When I get asked, I do it no Problem. Most people are receptive because at the end of the day its your house, your rules!
Plenty of Americans also take their shoes off at home. It wouldn’t feel strange or offensive to be asked.
Generally I take my shoes off when I’m in my own home, but not necessarily in other people’s homes.
It’s completely fine. Most Americans, I like to think, subscribe to the “your house, your rules” mentality and it genuinely would feel like a non-issue to have to take my shoes off if asked.
It’s very common where I live in the US to take off your shoes. I wouldn’t bat an eye at the request. Hell, I’d probably take them off without being asked.
Shoes off or on generally varies by family and region.
A lot of Americans take their shoes off in their homes so it’s not a strange request.
I’m from Michigan. We pretty much always take our shoes off at the door.
I wouldn’t want to track mud and everything else through your house. It’s extremely normal for people to have entryways of their homes crowded with pairs of shoes and boot racks and so forth.
It’s also normal for somebody to ask to remove shoes. So just be polite and ask them, they’re not going to be shocked.
There are a lot of Americans who also take off their shoes as soon as they enter their homes. True friends should not mind a polite ask.
I grew up in an area with a lot of farms and snow. It was very common as a kid to take your shoes off at the door. As I got older people would tell you to leave them on but it never bothered me either way. I didn’t think anyone would have an issue with it.
It’s fine. We’re respectful usually. We just don’t sit on the floor as a culture, so keeping our floors spotless isn’t as important. Also, keep shoes by the door and we usually get the hint.
In some homes taking shoes off at the door is expected. In other homes it is not.
I would not be offended to be asked to take my shoes off at the door. I have had friends and family members who did not allow shoes in the house and I was fine with that. Your house, your rules.
I have a preface for no shoes inside. I wouldn’t be offended.
This is common for American homes. I wish I knew exactly where the stereotype that Americans don’t take off their shoes came from because that’s simply not my lived experience.
A lot of Americans have the same rule, most wouldn’t give it a second thought
The polite way to introduce this would be pointing out where guests can leave their shoes at the door. I think most people would take the hint.
I wouldn’t be bothered but an advanced warning would be appreciated so I can wear socks. Or get a pedicure 😀
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do” applies to the home. I have friends who ask for that and it’s not an issue.
As an American, I hate shoes in the house it’s gross. When I take off my shoes at others houses purely out of habit they always say “oh..you don’t have to do that”. I don’t understand it. I don’t have guests at my house often but if I do I don’t mind telling directly to please take off their shoes. My house my rules 🤷🏻♀️ No one ever seems to be offended. but my cousin is married to an Asian man and they keep a basket of slippers for people to wear when we have large gatherings and I love that lol.
In the us, different houses have different policies on whether they take their shoes off. It’s not unusual to ask a guest to take their shoes off.
I wouldn’t mind at all. Your home, your rules!
No, I would be respectful of the local culture if I’m traveling and of someone’s wishes within their own home regardless of where I am. Your friends would probably not get upset or offended by that, but if they do then they’re jerks and I would suggest finding better friends.
I know plenty of people that take their shoes off when entering their homes. It’s not offensive.
Your rules. A heads up would be nice so I wear my Sunday socks.
Americans respect the rules of somebody else’s house. Just ask them to remove their shoes. It’s no big deal.
Shoes-off houses are very common in America also. It won’t be rude or unexpected for you to ask them to take their shoes off.
Your house, your rules. I would appreciate a heads up the first time so I can bring slipper socks, because I often wear sandals and would rather not have my dogs rawdogging your floors. If we get to the point that I’m frequently at your house, I might ask if I could bring my own pair of indoor slippers and leave them there.
Depending on the type of flooring, some people won’t be able to stand around very long without shoes (it’s me; I’m some people), but as long as there is somewhere for them to sit, that should be fine.
A few people will massively care, but those people are jerks. What can you do?
I’m American and we’re a no shoes in the house family, and always have been. The only exception is if you have some sandals or something that are for the HOUSE only.
I do find it uncomfortable, depending on what I’m wearing. My husband cannot walk without shoes. I can put my comfort side out of respect for someone’s culture and home, but my husband simply wouldn’t be able to walk.
In our next home, we want to make sure our entry way is big enough to store shoes so that he can swap out his shoes to a pair he only wears inside the house and then we’ll have a rule of no outside shoes in the house 🙂
I grew up in a region (and social class) of the US where it’s considered inappropriate to ask people to take their shoes off in the house. It’s like asking people to undress immediately upon arriving.
However…
The biggest issue is not knowing ahead of time.
If you find people are uncomfortable – telling them ahead of time they can make decisions about socks or whatever that they may need to be comfortable would go a long way.
This might help if people are hesitant while still maintaining your house rules.
Most people in the Midwest don’t wear shoes until he house.
Perfectly normal to ask them to do this. Many Americans do this, not all wear shoes in the house. Model it by taking yours off, maybe have some house slippers for guests because people caught off guard might be worried about the state of their socks or bare feet.
I can’t walk around with my shoes off. I have a bad back and multiple foot issues. I don’t even walk barefoot across my bedroom floor to the closet.
We don’t normally spend all our time licking our floors.
Less flippantly it’s more that we don’t have some kind of super-formalized “Take your shoes off the second you cross the threshold” fucking Tea Ceremony.
I take my shoes off before I get like… into my house. While I’m still like near my door.
I don’t stop and put down the groceries the nano-second I cross the doorline and then repeat the process for every trip of groceries I need to bring in.
I would take them off, out of respect for your house and your rules. I probably wouldn’t come over again because I don’t like standing around with people in my socks. But I don’t think the request is unreasonable at all.
I’m asian american- I request all my guests to take their shoes off at the front door. If not, don’t come in.
Totally fine. Out of the 7 homes we visit the most 4 are shoes on, 3 are shoes off including our own and we are totally happy to do whichever the primary residents prefer.
We always take our shoes off in the house. It’s not uncommon.
This isn’t that unusual in the US. I do it in my house. When my brother lived in Hawaii everywhere we went people did this.
If you don’t ask I won’t know. Happy to take them off.
No offense taken. If it’s a friend’s home, I’m fine taking them off.
As part of my job, I go into people homes and I am not allowed to take off my shoes for safety reasons. So I always travel with the disposable booties that cover my shoes and ask every person if they’d like me to put some on before I enter, since I cannot remove my shoes due to safety regulations.
I wouldn’t find it unusual or offensive, but it would be uncomfortable. I never want to be barefoot in a strange place.
We take our shoes off in our house, and I always take mine off at other people’s homes.
I would have no issues with taking my shoes off. It is not a rude or offensive request.
I’m a farmer. Shoes either stay outside or in the mud room.
Would it feel strange to me? Yes. Would I be offended, as a guest in your home? Not at all. Would I likely forget, if you didn’t remind me? Probably. Would I object to you politely saying, “Our custom here is not to wear street shoes in the house?” No, I wouldn’t.
If you wanted to meet this American (who has been medically advised to never go barefoot due to foot conditions) halfway, it would be helpful and welcome if you could provide slipper socks or houseshoes to give the feel of some covering of the feet.
It’s pretty common in US . Although, I’m not taking my shoes off if you have sketchy carpet or if it’s work related (I work in RE). I’ll do a shoe booty or something, but I’m not walking around in my socks (or barefoot) in a strangers house. I work in Multi-family and could be in 50 or 60 units a day on a long day and some of the floors I don’t even want to walk on with my shoes.
Your house, your rules. But when I have parties in my basement bar with a hard asbestos tile flooring nobody is going to want to walk around and eat and drink and play darts in socks or bare feet. It would be like doing that in an actual bar.
If I just have one friend over and we stay in the living room, sure, shoes off. But I myself have to wear shoes all the time due to foot problems. Not slippers or flimsy house shoes. I do have shoes I just wear for indoors but they are full ass shows, like tennis shoes.
I have white American friends who ask me to take my shoes off when I come in their house. It’s not a big deal.
Since this isn’t important in my home, I always do a mental eye-roll and OMG, but of course comply. Fortunately, those I visit most don’t worry about this.
If you ask me i’ll do it in your home just out of respect. The shoe thing is totally dependent on where you’re at in the US. I remember getting yelled at for wearing shoes inside when I first visited Michigan as a kid.
I grew up in the desert and my feet have been inside these boots all day in 100+ degree heat. I’ll take off my shoes but my feet are probably going to stink….badly. Growing up the thought of you taking off your shoes in someone’s home would be INSANE. I don’t need you that comfortable in my home lol.
I would remove my shoes if asked, but I would prefer a heads up before I get to the house to be prepared. I really don’t want to walk around barefoot so I’d like to know to make sure not to wear sandals or to bring socks or something!
I’m part Lebanese, lad, we do it, too. Also, tbqh my hillbilly mom prefers it as well.
If it’s your house, I’ll do it. Although I do wonder what’s the protocol for when you’re wearing shoes without socks? My friend didn’t know what I should do in that case either (it was their parents house, not their own place)
You need to let people know beforehand. It’s not ubiquitous in our culture and people aren’t necessary expecting to have their bare feet out in public. I have sensory issues and personal issues with showing my feet, my husband has mobility issues with his feet, we would respect your wishes but need to meet somewhere else.
I wouldn’t mind at all, this is a common request in the US as well.
No one I know wears outdoor shoes around the house. We might wear slippers if it’s cold.
I am happy to remove my shoes in someone else’s home. A head’s up would be nice, especially if it’s a party and I had planned the shoes to be part of the ensemble. Someone laughed at me when I took off my boots and had little black socks on.
I don’t ask people to take their shoes off in my house, but I don’t wear shoes inside myself, but that’s for comfort rather than cleanliness.
There seem to be two lines of thought—
take of your shoes so you don’t drag germs and dirt in the house
or
people and their comfort are more important than floors
I respect both.
I have a shoe rack at the entry and extra indoor slippers for guests. I think that gives people a hint. It still doesn’t work for all.
Even in the states people will do that. Just say “Hey, would you guys mind taking your shoes off please?”
They’ll do it.
I hate walking without shoes and think it’s gross to be asked to go barefoot in someone else’s space along with a ton of other barefoot people. I personally will not complain if asked but I do consider it a ridiculous request unless my shoes are dirty.
Not a problem. I have certain friends where I know to take off my shoes and others where I don’t bother. It’s all the same to me.
I wouldn’t mind at all but I would appreciate a heads up. I got caught off guard visiting a friend who wanted shoes off. I had miss matched socks and it was a party!! I was embarrassed.
It isn’t rude to ask.
I would personally never ask people to take off their shoes because I like wearing shoes in the house. And if I’m going to wear them anyways, I don’t really care if I have to spend 3 seconds extra vacuuming and 3 extra minutes cleaning the carpet- like I’m going to do those regardless if I or anyone else wears shoes, so I think it’s silly to care.
But I would never refuse to take them off at someone else’s house.
It’s a vastly different culture so it’s up to you what rules you have at your house.
In my experience, most people don’t care either way, but the ones who do feel very strongly.
Personally, I just wish it was a consistent social norm. Asking “on or off?” as I’m entering a person’s home for the first time is just one little extra social discomfort I could do without, so I’d appreciate being let know without asking.
What if your feet stink?
I don’t ask people to take their shoes off. I wear house shoes in my own home but sometimes regular shoes too. We don’t have children crawling the floors. I find it uncomfortable not to have a supportive shoe on because I have arthritis in my feet. We vacuum and wash the floors regularly.
It’s not too strange, however, I would feel very uncomfortable. I do know that shoe removal is very common throughout Asia. I do not feel comfortable without something between my feet and the floor, especially if there is carpet or at a stranger’s house. If you have any pets, I would leave before removing my shoes. Perhaps you should provide clean shoe covers or advise guests ahead of time to bring fleshly cleaned shoes. I have well worn shoes that have never been outside.
I regularly wash my shoes and avoid mud to keep my shoes clean.
one thing i never understood is why some people believe americans all have the same culture. i feel like it could be very far from the truth. my house is no shoes inside. i go a step further and no outside clothes on my bed. very few people ive met in my life allow shoes in their house
I’m not sure where this is coming from. I see this brought up a bunch of times but I’ve never experienced it ever. I’ve always taken off my shoes at my own house AND guest’s houses, my friends and family do the same.
It is customary where I live in the United States to remove shoes when entering the house. Where I grew up some people would have a sign by the door asking people to remove their shoes.
It’s pretty common to be shoeless in the house in America. I wear mine inside only if my feet are cold (I really should invest in some slippers lol)
Your house. Your rules. That said I have a degenerative nerve disease. I literally cannot walk without my shoes. Even not wearing them for 10 minutes and I’m in a horrendous amount of pain. I just wouldn’t be able to visit you.
A lot of people would think it’s a bit uptight, but it isn’t an uncommon request in the US.
I’m a grown ass man. I’m not taking my shoes off…what??..walk around in my socks at your house??
It’s hilarious. I’m watching the Seinfeld episode right now where George’s dad refuses to take off his shoes in the Korean home. We’re all different. In this house, we wear them in the kitchen a lot. We run in and out so quick, it’s not practical to take them off.
I just say “by the way we’re a shoeless household” and it makes me feel less awkward
I also do not wear shoes indoors and require guests to remove them
I wouldn’t mind but I would hope you would be considerate enough to provide some sturdy slippers or house shoes in case your guests have a foot affliction like I do. Being barefoot is torture for me. The only time I’m ever without some sort of footwear is when I’m in the shower.
I was a case worker and I had to go to a home monthly. She didn’t have a sign up and she never asked me. At the second visit I saw the pile of shoes by the door. I asked and she said they took off their shoes but I didn’t have to. I took them off every time. When I met another Filipino family I asked on day one.
There are Muslims in my family they all have signs on the door and one has a mat!
People who love and care for you should respect your culture.
In New England it goes like this:
Guest enters the door, removes shoes, host says oh please, you don’t need to remove your shoes, guest says, I wasn’t raised in a barn, guest continues to remove shoes, host is relieved that guest has manners.
The expectation is that you will remove your shoes at the door or stay in the entry/mud room.
I moved to Alaska when I was a kid and when winter came my mom started the “shoes off at the door” policy pretty darn fast. It became the family rule and I’ve done it ever since. It’s been over 40 years now and I can’t even begin to imagine wearing shoes inside the house anymore, no thank you! 😊
I have no problem taking off my shoes when asked. Working in the flooring industry, I know the oils from feet and socks do far more harm to your flooring than the dust on shoes. But it isn’t my house and I don’t have to clean it.
I just go off of whoever’s hosting me. If they’ve still got their shoes on, I leave mine on. If their shoes are off, mine come off.
It’s ok to ask. For me I would gladly take off my shoes. But I would be uncomfortable leaving the shoes outside. I mean I live in a place with scorpions. I don’t want them hiding in my shoes while they’re outside. So compromise. Ask them to take them out and leave them inside by the door.
It doesn’t bother me. But then there are many families in the US that do not wear shoes in the house. I don’t wear shoes in my own home. I do wear slippers in the house).
Some of my friends do wear shoes in their own homes, and some don’t. I go along with whatever my friend is doing. Growing up in the US, we always wore shoes in theHouse. Everyone did then.
It would depend on what I had been doing before coming to the house. If I was worried that my feet would smell if I took off my shoes (unfortunately this happens when I have to wear dress shoes for a long time that are hard to wear with socks), I would rather not take my shoes off. I would be embarrassed and probably make an excuse to leave without coming in. I would also be embarrassed if I hadn’t painted my toenails recently because I’d only been wearing close toed shoes. I would want to know before I came that you would ask so I could wear matching socks or make sure my toenails looked nice. If it was sprung on me, I probably wouldn’t come inside because it would embarrass me.
I detest being asked to take my shoes off. I find it gross. I don’t want to walk around on someone’s floor in my socks or bare feet. It’s incredibly uncomfortable and skeezes me out. I’d rather not go to someone’s house at all than take my shoes off.
*Also, no one ever died from having someone’s shoes touch their floor.
In my view, it’s uncouth and discourteous to make people remove any part of clothing to be in your home. It ruins the occasion.
Your house, your rules!
However, if you do not wear shoes in your house, you should make sure that nobody in the house owns Legos, particularly the number “ones”, as they are particularly dangerous!
I was raised to take my shoes off. But it isn’t offensive to ask a guest to remove their shoes. A indirect way is saying “You can put your shoes right here”
I wouldn’t mind at all. Each person’s rules are different when it comes to their homes and if they want people to wear their shoes inside or not. Let them know that you want them to take their shoes off when they enter your house.
My ideology is when in someone else’s house, follow their rules. Unless the request is made in an obviously rude way, I wouldn’t find someone asking for me to take my shoes off as rude. I personally dislike people having their shoes on when coming into our house, unless there’s a specific reason as to why (e.g. forgetting something and grabbing it real quick), but if they’re staying for a while, then it’s shoes off at the door
Taking your shoes off inside of a home is normal in the US, it is just not universal. No American should be taken aback by that request.
Definitely wouldn’t be offensive. I know a lot of Americans that ask to have guest take their shoes off as well I don’t think anyone would be too offended and if they do it’s on them
No one is going to care. Just say it.
My wife and I are both older and have some arthritis in various places including our feet.
I’ll comply but know I’m going to be in a lot of pain walking around if you don’t have soft carpets.
Your house your rules. I’m American and never wore my shoes inside the house.
I’ve never been offended by being asked to take my shoes off somebody else’s house.
I have raynaud’s syndrom and easily lose circulation in my feet. I don’t mind taking my shoes off as long as the house isn’t too cold. It’s not something that I’m asked to do very often so it does catch me off guard when it does. It would be nice to know ahead of time if that’s a house rule but I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked.
If you’re visiting someone and they ask you to take off your shoes in their home, then you remove your shoes. Personally I don’t take my shoes off in my house but I’ve been to houses where I’m asked to remove my shoes either for cultural reasons of to help keep the floor clean and I’ve never had a problem doing it
I grew up not taking my shoes off. My husband’s family does. After my first visit I automatically take my shoes off. To me it’s a sign of respect
I personally take my shoes off when I’m in my own house, so I wouldn’t care if someone asked me to remove them.
90% of Americans I know have no-shoes rules in the house
My American family takes their shoes off at the door as well.
I take my shoes off at the door because I find them uncomfortable so not at all
In the US, many people ask to remove shoes in their housem. Your house your rules. If the visitor has issue, then they are free to not enter.
Another good thing about US is most people aren’t offended when asked…at least as far as I’ve seen.
Totally fine. I’m an American and take my shoes off at the door too.
A lot of Americans expected/want you to take shoes off as well. It doesn’t bother me.
If you ask me, I’m happy to remove my shoes.
My husband has flat feet and wears shoes with support arches in them. He never walks barefoot because it causes so much pain. So he would comply with your request, but he might not want to return.