So I got ill in October 2024 and since I haven’t been able to eat well at all, I’ve been having one meal a day that consists of two pieces of toast and three rich tea biscuits, and it’s ruined my life.
I’ve done loads of medical tests and they all come back normal, I think I’ve somehow fallen into ARFID as I have really intense emetophobia but it’s never been this bad before. I’ve lost more than 20kg in weight, I’m losing my mind, I lost my position at college, I’ve lost all contact with people apart from my mum (I’m 18 so I still live with her), and my mental health has been a total train wreck. I know I need to build up my eating again, I’ve been kinda trying, but I really don’t know how to approach it, my fear makes me terrified of eating and, to make matters more complicated, I have IBS and ASD and a panic disorder.
I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed as my situation is so extreme, I understand eating disorders are very painful but I don’t mentally feel that, I feel as though I’ve hit a wall that I need to punch through but my fists are too weak and my brain is insanely hazy. I’d appreciate any advice or motivation (if that’s the correct word) for building my eating up without triggering my issues and avoiding the chronic acid reflux I get 24/7!
I will add that I don’t have sensory issues, before October I regularly enjoyed vegetables, fruits, nuts, sweets, meals, and drinking good amounts of fluids. Thank you for any help, your words are appreciated!!!
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Not a medical professional. Just someone who’s had digestive problems.
Look into probiotics. An illness can unbalance the intestinal micro-biome. Taking a targeted probiotic can help rebalance it.
Oatmeal can also help with regulating digestion. Start with a half portion, 1/4 cup quick oats with 1/2 cup water, microwave about 40 seconds, and add clear fruit juice to sweeten to taste. One of my favorites is a single serving cup of diced peaches added to a serving of oatmeal. Use fruit packed in juice not syrup.
A meal replacement drink can help you get the nutrients you’re missing. The big advantage is that, once you reach your target diet, you can just stop drinking the meal replacement. The down side is that most contain milk, which can be very difficult for some people to digest.
I think that low FODMAP foods will help, would it be possible to try a few of your old foods to see what triggers your IBS? Maybe try one food a day until you figure out what you react to and what you don’t. Foods that trigger acid reflux a lot are citruses, fatty foods, fried foods, juices, coffee, chocolate, alcohol, and tomatoes.
In the meantime, if you can take a multivitamin, that will probably help some. Whatever you end up doing, take it slow, and we’re proud of you for asking for help.
When my daughter developed severe anxiety about choking after her brother had a scare with something getting stuck for a moment, she was hardly eating anything. Crunchy was a safe texture for her, so I started maxing Chex snack mix. I did a savoury one with garlic butter, and a sweet one with cinnamon and sugar. Since they are mostly breakfast cereals, there are lots of nutrients, and they are high in calories. That got us through and she worked HARD to push herself to eat different things – but we always kept it close to her comfort zones. It took months, but she eventually got over it.
If crunchy is safe for you, I can give you my recipes.
I can help brainstorm foods and recipes for other safe textures or whatever – but the secret is to find something that is safe for you (that doesn’t trigger your anxiety) and has decent nutrition and calories. Don’t worry about having a normal diet – worry about getting the nutrition you need, even if that looks really weird right now. It’s okay.
Maybe start with a gummy vitamin in the mean time to help support your brain and body.
I don’t get sick with them because they are gummy and kinda dissolve in the stomach.
Thinking of this one in terms of your "window of tolerance" might be helpful.
I see people saying try to slowly incorporate food that don’t trigger your anxieties around food, and they’re absolutely right. It’s a good idea.
But don’t throw out the idea of eating small amounts of foods you’d like to be less anxious about. When you’re able to survive an anxious situation, one that pushes you a teeny bit outside of your window of tolerance, you’re proving to yourself that the anxiety wasn’t required, and hopefully, by learning to tolerate some of those anxious feelings and doing it anyway, you may find your anxiety decreases, and the window of tolerance grows wider. It’s important not to go so far that you become overwhelmed; always tell yourself you can stop/do something else if the feelings become too much. Doing this could teach your brain/body the opposite – that leaving your window of tolerance is too painful. So don’t make it painful, but take yourself to "uncomfy" if you can sometimes.
A friend of mine used to have lots and lots of fears around eating and food preparation, it took him years and many baby steps but his diet is awesome now and he knows how to cook better than most people. Be patient with yourself. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re a failure – it just means you’re still trying, and that’s fantastic. Good luck.