I used to call half-free morel mushrooms “peckerheads” because that’s what every goddamned person in this state calls them.
It wasn’t until I was in about 5th grade that I realized it wasn’t appropriate. I was in class, the teacher asked what I did over the weekend. I told her I went mushroom hunting with my dad. She says, “OH, did you find any?”
I reply, “Some, but I mostly just got a sack full of peckerheads.”
A couple of boys in the class laughed loudly. Bud, the class clown, fell out of his chair with his hands on his face, saying, “Oh my god, oh my god.”
My friend Lana had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were as wide as they could get.
I got sent to the principal’s office and they called my parents.
Got my ass chewed out by my dad when he got home from work.
I found this really cool retro shirt at a thrift store and was immediately sent to the office when I got to school. The shirt said “I choked Linda Lovelace”. I was 8th grade.
One time (I think I was about 8 years old) my mother and I were going home and it started to rain, so we got a little wet and I said “I’m wet” then my mother looked at me with the most serious face in the world, and said “Don’t ever say that again” and I was like “What?? Oxi??” I never forgot that moment and years later I asked my mother if she remembered and she replied yes lol look at the child’s innocence
When I was little, say Kindergarten or first grade, I used to doodle monsters a lot. One time I drew a monster with a spikey, prehensile penis. Someone saw it and told the teacher. I didn’t even know about sex at the time, I was just designing weird monsters.
I once tried to peak under the door to the room where my sister was changing, still have no clue why I did it. I was really young and wasnt getting horny feelings by that age. I think my mom just told me to stop or not do that.
When I was younger, I went into both bathrooms depending on how clean the other was and didn’t understand how it was a bad thing (little kid logic) . Now I don’t do that stuff anymore…
When I was 8 years old I saw that a friend had his pants zipped down, I thought he wouldn’t have noticed, so I thought it was a good idea to zip them up on my own, his mom saw me and told me no, now I understand why.
at six I heard my neighbor’s mom sun bathed naked. Jumped off the trampoline, and clung to her privacy fence, I seen everything. I was a big kid tall and weight wise so I made a huge thud. So she saw me too, she told my parents. parents gave me a lecture about privacy and women.
when I was four I was over at my aunt’s boyfriend’s house. I was naturally curious and would get into peoples shit all the time. I opened the cabinet under the seat to see a shit load of magazines. Really didn’t understand what I was looking at cause till this point I never saw a woman with her shirt off. Their heads are off the page. Thought they were interesting so I put them all back how I found. any time I go back there I would look at them. Eventually my aunt realizes I’ve gone to the bathroom six times in four hours. Opens the door. sees me in the ground flipping through porn magazines confused.
my best neighborhood friend knows where his dad hides his porn. Honestly kind of an impressive hiding spot, I don’t know how he even found it. it was up stairs in a closet behind a square of drywall screwed into two studs. so we unscrew it get into it start looking through the mags mixed in with the mags are some sextoys. there was something that looked kind like a rubber condom with a bunch of little soft stubs all over it. friends lil bro grabs condom, starting to blow it up like a balloon. me and him tell him not to do that he asks why. we didn’t want to tell him why for obvious reasons just tell him to stop. he runs out the room with the dam thing. we both go back to looking at mags. start hearing screaming down stairs friend starts freaking. so I start helping. eventually hear foot steps start coming up stairs. so I quickly step out the room to cover for my boy. I start flirting with his mom. “oh miss L your hair looks so pretty today” Thank you, what’s going on “your nail polish” cute, really what’s happening? Friend comes out of the room behind me “I think… I love you…” He playfully punches me in the side. I go down like a ton of bricks. She’s laughing her ass off. As the dad is yelling it’s not mine I don’t know where he got it! he was chasing his son around the living room that was still playing with the condom.
I was making prank phone calls with one of my friends when I was 9 or 10 years old. I decided to dial the operator and tell her that I was horny for her. I had heard an older kid say that on the bus recently, but had no idea what horny meant. The operator called back, but my older sister answered the phone. The operator thought my sister was me and called my sister a pervert and sicko. My sister was pissed off, but we laugh about it now.
I would walk back and fourth on the playground bridge chanting Lez-be-lezbians. Or the time I commented “my biological clock is ticking” when I was told I couldn’t do something at that moment. My mom just looked at me and said “well I hope not”.
I was 16ish, kinda precocious, mostly naive. I was flying back home by myself from ….somewhere… Anyway, it was a long international flight. This was in the late 80s.
I fell asleep on the plane and let my head rest on the shoulder of the middle-aged dude next to me, who was also sleeping on the flight. We chatted together for a bit, but nothing weird. After landing and deplaning I ran into him in the airport. I don’t recall if I was around airport staff (strangers) or my parents who were picking me up, but whoever I was with said something like, “oh, do you know that guy?”
And I responded with a smile, “oh yeah, we slept together on the plane.”
🤦🏽♀️
Nowadays the guy would be arrested for that shit.
When I was in 3rd grade I wrote a story called Frig the Frog. My teacher suggested a different name. I wasn’t having it, but she eventually insisted I change the frog’s name to Ferdinand. I was so furious about it I complained to my dad who had to explain that frig was a “bad word”.
I innocently asked my nan if she wanted a “hopoate” while sitting at the dinner table with my whole family.
A hopoate was known in Australia as sticking your finger up someone’s butt. Made famous from NRL player John Hopoate, who was known to slip a finger once or twice during a game.
when I was in 1st grade my friends found out if you scratch yourself then wipe your saliva on yourself the scratch marks disappeared. after lunch time ended and we were walking back to class my friend scratched her arm and I spat on her arm.. she looked at me and I just went “what?!” sigh..
Fucking gooner post “what sexual shit did you do as a kid that you only realised was deeply sexual later” OP just wants to imagine little kids doing sexual stuff. Ong bro I’m so done with this sub
I was like 5, ussed to ride my little plastic bike down the bumpy driveway because it felt good down there. I’d go for ages. My parents probably thought I just liked riding.
I was half asleep and then I went to my cousin (she was 24 I was 9) and was curious about how a woman looked like under the pants so I pulled it to the side .she woke up and just giggled before falling asleep again. I rushed back to my room after that
Back in Kindergarten, one of my (M) friends (F) and I went to go use the bathroom after lunch. The boys bathroom didn’t have any paper towel left. I told her abt it, and she just said “oh, there’s some in the girls bathroom. come with me.” And I just kinda innocently followed, got my paper towel, and left with her. I think she did it again another time that year too. crazy how when you’re 6 years old, the only things you consider before doing literally anything are A) “Is it possible?” and B) “Will my parent/teacher get mad if they catch me?”
When I was 12 or 13, a strapping young lad discovering porn, I got tired of watching people older than me doing the deed. I wanted to watch people my age. So, I’d put certain keywords in the search bar and couldnt understand why nothing is coming up. When I was 25 or smth, I remembered that and only then realized what the fuck was I doing
I had a party trick i would perform whenever my parents had visitors I would curl up into a ball and the dog would hump the crap out of me. I was 7 but it always made people laugh I had no idea what was going on 😅
Once in a pharmacy, my mom and I were buying medicine, I was 7 years old at the time, so, in the window of the pharmacy there was a box of chocolate-flavored condoms, Idk what they were, so I asked my mom, she turned red as a tomato and told me nervously “Are they just chocolates” and I told her “Can you buy them for me?” she obviously said no, And in the middle of the pharmacy I threw a tantrum because I wanted those “chocolates”
When I was a kid I really loved sucking all the “air” out of a can of whipped cream because it made me feel funny. Fast forward 20 years I found out i was just doing whippets.
My sister and I both were born with bright ginger hair. No one else in the family had the same hair. Whenever relative’s would comment how lovely my hair was, and ask where did it come from, I would parrot my father’s response; the postman.
Didn’t realise until years later how mortifying this must have been for my mum.
I was probably around 7 or 8, I asked my mum what oral sex was. I think I’d thought it was feeling to do drugs talking.
Pretty sure she didn’t answer me!
My brother had a pair of boxer shorts featuring a cartoon devil.I referred to the “horny little devil” on my bro’s boxer shorts. My Mum berated me for it and said I was not to say that ever again.
I had no idea what horny meant, I was too young, and I had had just thought it referred to the devil having horns lol
I used to masturbate in school as a young child. I’ve been masturbating since I can remember, and I don’t remember anyone ever telling me to not do it in certain places. Looking back, idk how no one noticed. And if they did, why the fuck wouldn’t they say something to me or my parents? I carry a lot of shame and guilt over this. It’s extremely embarrassing to think that other people saw me and what they probably thought/think of me.
When I was a little boy, my father was driving my brother and I somewhere. We went through town and I saw my friend, who mischievously stuck up his middle finger at me.
Idk how common this is, but my mom called batting your eyelashes against someone’s cheeks “butterfly kisses” and rubbing your noses against someone else’s nose “Eskimo kisses”. When I was around 6 my friend and I were coming up with other funny “kisses” and giving them silly names and our moms walked in on me and my friend giving each other “frog kisses”- just casually sticking our tongues out and rubbing them together.
One moment at approximately 8 years old forever haunts me. An incredibly racist remark stated loud and proud in front of teachers and students about turbans being “towels on their heads”
I had no idea and was so confident saying it. Those poor teachers had to keep a straight face
When I was 10, at school I would sing “my dingaling my dingaling, I want you to play with my dingaling” from the Simpsons and a Caucasian classmate laughed and explained what it meant. Having immigrant parents didn’t help me to understand the majority of that show so a lot of things didn’t make sense until I was in my teens.
Figured out around 5 years old that touching myself a certain way felt really good. Got caught once by my grandma and she scolded the hell out of me. After that I just realized it was something I didn’t need to get caught doing lol.
Comments
Shit on the sidewalk
I keep doing it… interrupt people while they’re talking.
Said “you swallow” in response to someone saying “you suck”, had no clue it had a sexual meaning at the time
I used to call half-free morel mushrooms “peckerheads” because that’s what every goddamned person in this state calls them.
It wasn’t until I was in about 5th grade that I realized it wasn’t appropriate. I was in class, the teacher asked what I did over the weekend. I told her I went mushroom hunting with my dad. She says, “OH, did you find any?”
I reply, “Some, but I mostly just got a sack full of peckerheads.”
A couple of boys in the class laughed loudly. Bud, the class clown, fell out of his chair with his hands on his face, saying, “Oh my god, oh my god.”
My friend Lana had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were as wide as they could get.
I got sent to the principal’s office and they called my parents.
Got my ass chewed out by my dad when he got home from work.
I used to peak under the shower stalls in the girls showers. I was a little creep!
I used to sit on a baseball bat for fun when watching my dad play video games and bounce on it a little until one day he got mad
I found this really cool retro shirt at a thrift store and was immediately sent to the office when I got to school. The shirt said “I choked Linda Lovelace”. I was 8th grade.
One time (I think I was about 8 years old) my mother and I were going home and it started to rain, so we got a little wet and I said “I’m wet” then my mother looked at me with the most serious face in the world, and said “Don’t ever say that again” and I was like “What?? Oxi??” I never forgot that moment and years later I asked my mother if she remembered and she replied yes lol look at the child’s innocence
When I was little, say Kindergarten or first grade, I used to doodle monsters a lot. One time I drew a monster with a spikey, prehensile penis. Someone saw it and told the teacher. I didn’t even know about sex at the time, I was just designing weird monsters.
I was a seat sniffer lol
Called (other) white kids “wiggers”
My aunt heard me say it and asked me, “where do you think that word comes from?? What do you think is the root of that word?!”
Whoops.
Used to draw circles around my 😺 above the shorts then I wad scolded by my mother when she saw me doing it.
I once tried to peak under the door to the room where my sister was changing, still have no clue why I did it. I was really young and wasnt getting horny feelings by that age. I think my mom just told me to stop or not do that.
Now I look back at that and cringe so hard.
When I was younger, I went into both bathrooms depending on how clean the other was and didn’t understand how it was a bad thing (little kid logic) . Now I don’t do that stuff anymore…
When I was 8 years old I saw that a friend had his pants zipped down, I thought he wouldn’t have noticed, so I thought it was a good idea to zip them up on my own, his mom saw me and told me no, now I understand why.
at six I heard my neighbor’s mom sun bathed naked. Jumped off the trampoline, and clung to her privacy fence, I seen everything. I was a big kid tall and weight wise so I made a huge thud. So she saw me too, she told my parents. parents gave me a lecture about privacy and women.
when I was four I was over at my aunt’s boyfriend’s house. I was naturally curious and would get into peoples shit all the time. I opened the cabinet under the seat to see a shit load of magazines. Really didn’t understand what I was looking at cause till this point I never saw a woman with her shirt off. Their heads are off the page. Thought they were interesting so I put them all back how I found. any time I go back there I would look at them. Eventually my aunt realizes I’ve gone to the bathroom six times in four hours. Opens the door. sees me in the ground flipping through porn magazines confused.
my best neighborhood friend knows where his dad hides his porn. Honestly kind of an impressive hiding spot, I don’t know how he even found it. it was up stairs in a closet behind a square of drywall screwed into two studs. so we unscrew it get into it start looking through the mags mixed in with the mags are some sextoys. there was something that looked kind like a rubber condom with a bunch of little soft stubs all over it. friends lil bro grabs condom, starting to blow it up like a balloon. me and him tell him not to do that he asks why. we didn’t want to tell him why for obvious reasons just tell him to stop. he runs out the room with the dam thing. we both go back to looking at mags. start hearing screaming down stairs friend starts freaking. so I start helping. eventually hear foot steps start coming up stairs. so I quickly step out the room to cover for my boy. I start flirting with his mom. “oh miss L your hair looks so pretty today” Thank you, what’s going on “your nail polish” cute, really what’s happening? Friend comes out of the room behind me “I think… I love you…” He playfully punches me in the side. I go down like a ton of bricks. She’s laughing her ass off. As the dad is yelling it’s not mine I don’t know where he got it! he was chasing his son around the living room that was still playing with the condom.
Disrespecting everyone.
I was making prank phone calls with one of my friends when I was 9 or 10 years old. I decided to dial the operator and tell her that I was horny for her. I had heard an older kid say that on the bus recently, but had no idea what horny meant. The operator called back, but my older sister answered the phone. The operator thought my sister was me and called my sister a pervert and sicko. My sister was pissed off, but we laugh about it now.
My cousin and I used to look at each other’s junk and put things up each other’s butts.
I would walk back and fourth on the playground bridge chanting Lez-be-lezbians. Or the time I commented “my biological clock is ticking” when I was told I couldn’t do something at that moment. My mom just looked at me and said “well I hope not”.
I was 16ish, kinda precocious, mostly naive. I was flying back home by myself from ….somewhere… Anyway, it was a long international flight. This was in the late 80s.
I fell asleep on the plane and let my head rest on the shoulder of the middle-aged dude next to me, who was also sleeping on the flight. We chatted together for a bit, but nothing weird. After landing and deplaning I ran into him in the airport. I don’t recall if I was around airport staff (strangers) or my parents who were picking me up, but whoever I was with said something like, “oh, do you know that guy?”
And I responded with a smile, “oh yeah, we slept together on the plane.”
🤦🏽♀️
Nowadays the guy would be arrested for that shit.
When I was in 3rd grade I wrote a story called Frig the Frog. My teacher suggested a different name. I wasn’t having it, but she eventually insisted I change the frog’s name to Ferdinand. I was so furious about it I complained to my dad who had to explain that frig was a “bad word”.
I started dating girl that was with one of my best friend year earlier. I was like 13-14
Called a teacher a prostitute instead of a substitute. Got in big trouble without knowing why
I innocently asked my nan if she wanted a “hopoate” while sitting at the dinner table with my whole family.
A hopoate was known in Australia as sticking your finger up someone’s butt. Made famous from NRL player John Hopoate, who was known to slip a finger once or twice during a game.
when I was in 1st grade my friends found out if you scratch yourself then wipe your saliva on yourself the scratch marks disappeared. after lunch time ended and we were walking back to class my friend scratched her arm and I spat on her arm.. she looked at me and I just went “what?!” sigh..
Fucking gooner post “what sexual shit did you do as a kid that you only realised was deeply sexual later” OP just wants to imagine little kids doing sexual stuff. Ong bro I’m so done with this sub
I was like 5, ussed to ride my little plastic bike down the bumpy driveway because it felt good down there. I’d go for ages. My parents probably thought I just liked riding.
Nik
I was half asleep and then I went to my cousin (she was 24 I was 9) and was curious about how a woman looked like under the pants so I pulled it to the side .she woke up and just giggled before falling asleep again. I rushed back to my room after that
Back in Kindergarten, one of my (M) friends (F) and I went to go use the bathroom after lunch. The boys bathroom didn’t have any paper towel left. I told her abt it, and she just said “oh, there’s some in the girls bathroom. come with me.” And I just kinda innocently followed, got my paper towel, and left with her. I think she did it again another time that year too. crazy how when you’re 6 years old, the only things you consider before doing literally anything are A) “Is it possible?” and B) “Will my parent/teacher get mad if they catch me?”
Sword fights with friends. Would be awkward now.
When I was 12 or 13, a strapping young lad discovering porn, I got tired of watching people older than me doing the deed. I wanted to watch people my age. So, I’d put certain keywords in the search bar and couldnt understand why nothing is coming up. When I was 25 or smth, I remembered that and only then realized what the fuck was I doing
Uummm… let’s see – I would sing Gaddam it, dammit dammit, gaddam it, gaddam it. Bc I heard it somewhere.
I used to moon my moms boyfriend when I was like…8-9?
Just being myself. I’m autistic.
Me and cousin suck each others dick when we were 8-9-10 yrs old
I had a party trick i would perform whenever my parents had visitors I would curl up into a ball and the dog would hump the crap out of me. I was 7 but it always made people laugh I had no idea what was going on 😅
I was the youngest of the family, I used to ask everyone ,”Can I have that when you die?”
Once in a pharmacy, my mom and I were buying medicine, I was 7 years old at the time, so, in the window of the pharmacy there was a box of chocolate-flavored condoms, Idk what they were, so I asked my mom, she turned red as a tomato and told me nervously “Are they just chocolates” and I told her “Can you buy them for me?” she obviously said no, And in the middle of the pharmacy I threw a tantrum because I wanted those “chocolates”
When I was a kid I really loved sucking all the “air” out of a can of whipped cream because it made me feel funny. Fast forward 20 years I found out i was just doing whippets.
My sister and I both were born with bright ginger hair. No one else in the family had the same hair. Whenever relative’s would comment how lovely my hair was, and ask where did it come from, I would parrot my father’s response; the postman.
Didn’t realise until years later how mortifying this must have been for my mum.
I was probably around 7 or 8, I asked my mum what oral sex was. I think I’d thought it was feeling to do drugs talking.
Pretty sure she didn’t answer me!
My brother had a pair of boxer shorts featuring a cartoon devil.I referred to the “horny little devil” on my bro’s boxer shorts. My Mum berated me for it and said I was not to say that ever again.
I had no idea what horny meant, I was too young, and I had had just thought it referred to the devil having horns lol
I used to masturbate in school as a young child. I’ve been masturbating since I can remember, and I don’t remember anyone ever telling me to not do it in certain places. Looking back, idk how no one noticed. And if they did, why the fuck wouldn’t they say something to me or my parents? I carry a lot of shame and guilt over this. It’s extremely embarrassing to think that other people saw me and what they probably thought/think of me.
When I was a little boy, my father was driving my brother and I somewhere. We went through town and I saw my friend, who mischievously stuck up his middle finger at me.
I said, “Jeff just fingered me.”
Idk how common this is, but my mom called batting your eyelashes against someone’s cheeks “butterfly kisses” and rubbing your noses against someone else’s nose “Eskimo kisses”. When I was around 6 my friend and I were coming up with other funny “kisses” and giving them silly names and our moms walked in on me and my friend giving each other “frog kisses”- just casually sticking our tongues out and rubbing them together.
Anyway, I didn’t ever have to come out to my mom.
“suck it” and doing the DX crotch chop. (Which was a popular move in wrestling at the in time)
Maybe not extremely inappropriate but inappropriate nonetheless : I kept kissing my mom on the mouth until I was like, 8.
randomly kissing a girl I like, back in elementary. And yes, without her consent
One moment at approximately 8 years old forever haunts me. An incredibly racist remark stated loud and proud in front of teachers and students about turbans being “towels on their heads”
I had no idea and was so confident saying it. Those poor teachers had to keep a straight face
When I was 10, at school I would sing “my dingaling my dingaling, I want you to play with my dingaling” from the Simpsons and a Caucasian classmate laughed and explained what it meant. Having immigrant parents didn’t help me to understand the majority of that show so a lot of things didn’t make sense until I was in my teens.
Figured out around 5 years old that touching myself a certain way felt really good. Got caught once by my grandma and she scolded the hell out of me. After that I just realized it was something I didn’t need to get caught doing lol.