Hello Reddit! This is my first post, so I hope I don’t make any mistakes.
So My (17f) sister (20) hasn’t been the best sister in the world. It ranges from the normal stuff to flat out rejecting my sexuality when I first came out to her as bisexual, saying that it was ‘feral and disgusting’. Needless to say we aren’t close.
From all of this, I really don’t trust her going through my things and stuff without me being there (she has stolen things, money, gone through my phone etc) which is where the problem started. Also, I got my passport because I will be going on a school trip later in the year and she does not have one.
So it all started with her walking into my room without knocking (I have tried to establish that boundry, no avail). I was doing my school work so I tried brushing her off nicely, which she responded with just continuing to annoy me. See, I usually don’t trust her just ‘coming to say hello’ because it usually ends with her annoying me to get a reaction or hurting me.
Anyways, so as I’m now asking her to get out, she takes her phone out and taking photo’s of me and laughing about them. I really don’t know how I’m supposed to feel when my sister that I’m suppose to be nice and kind to is basically mocking me with the fliters she is putting on. After repeating over and over before and after she took the photos, she leapfrogs to the fact that I have gotten my passport.
I was willing to let her see them, but after all of that conversation before hand, I decided to be a little bit petty and say no. See, I have been trying to tell her that if she does things like that to me that it will have consquences but she just doesn’t listen. Either way, I say “no I’m not going to show you because you have disrespected me and I’m not tolerating that” She then goes on about how it was a joke and to lighten up. I really don’t think making fun of someone is really funny.
Anyway, so not to cause problems, I hold up my passport so she could see it and what it looks like. I’m not inclined to let her hold my things after all the times she has proven that she could not bee trusted. I can understand how she feels about that, but if she simply didn’t mess with my stuff, we could avoid this.
In response, she went to our mother (60), telling her about the situation, omitting the parts that would give reason to why I did that. After trying to justify to my mother about this situation, she just wanted me to keep the peace and apolgise. I didn’t feel like I did anything overly wrong, so the question remains, AITA
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
Hello Reddit! This is my first post, so I hope I don’t make any mistakes.
So My (17) sister (20) hasn’t been the best sister in the world. It ranges from the normal stuff to flat out rejecting my sexuality when I first came out to her as bisexual, saying that it was ‘feral and disgusting’. Needless to say we aren’t close.
From all of this, I really don’t trust her going through my things and stuff without me being there (she has stolen things, money, gone through my phone etc) which is where the problem started. Also, I got my passport because I will be going on a school trip later in the year and she does not have one.
So it all started with her walking into my room without knocking (I have tried to establish that boundry, no avail). I was doing my school work so I tried brushing her off nicely, which she responded with just continuing to annoy me. See, I usually don’t trust her just ‘coming to say hello’ because it usually ends with her annoying me to get a reaction or hurting me.
Anyways, so as I’m now asking her to get out, she takes her phone out and taking photo’s of me and laughing about them. I really don’t know how I’m supposed to feel when my sister that I’m suppose to be nice and kind to is basically mocking me with the fliters she is putting on. After repeating over and over before and after she took the photos, she leapfrogs to the fact that I have gotten my passport.
I was willing to let her see them, but after all of that conversation before hand, I decided to be a little bit petty and say no. See, I have been trying to tell her that if she does things like that to me that it will have consquences but she just doesn’t listen. Either way, I say “no I’m not going to show you because you have disrespected me and I’m not tolerating that” She then goes on about how it was a joke and to lighten up. I really don’t think making fun of someone is really funny.
Anyway, so not to cause problems, I hold up my passport so she could see it and what it looks like. I’m not inclined to let her hold my things after all the times she has proven that she could not bee trusted. I can understand how she feels about that, but if she simply didn’t mess with my stuff, we could avoid this.
In response, she went to our mother (60), telling her about the situation, omitting the parts that would give reason to why I did that. After trying to justify to my mother about this situation, she just wanted me to keep the peace and apolgise. I didn’t feel like I did anything overly wrong, so the question remains, AITA
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was to withhold my passport from my sister when she asked to see it. I have been given conflicting opinions as to whether I have been right to do petty things to my sister, so set boundaries, or I should be less sensitive and just take it.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You sister is too old to be acting that way. You should consider a gray rock strategy. Bullies crave the reaction and lose interest if not getting one.
NTA
NTA. Your sister is annoying Petty person.
This incident is so bland you could really throw in a quick “I’m sorry” to your sister and have forgotten about it in the time it took you to make this post. Let alone trying to convince your Mum etc.
Sometimes discretion is truly the better part of valour.
NTA- your sister could ruin your passport. Don’t you have a locking door knob? If not I would get one. You might even want the kind that locks on the outside with a key if your sister’s a thief.
NTA. Tell your sister in advance you’ll go to law enforcement if she takes your passport, not just mom (who is coddling her).
Hide your passport and hide it well, even go as far as asking a trusted friend to keep it at their place. DO NOT leave it anywhere she could find it. She will destroy it or throw it out. She sounds immature and jealous. Do not give her the satisfaction of harassing you to the point you comment, etc, read about narcissistic behaviour and how to deal with it. She will hate it more, you not responding the way she wants!
NTA. Your mother should be doing something about her. Can you get a lock on your door? Hide your passport.
NTA. A 20 year old acting that way and then ‘tattling’ to mommy? Are you sure she’s the older sister?
Start filming your interactions with her. If she comes in the room, automatically get out your phone and make it obvious you’re doing so.
Don’t antagonize, don’t argue, behave normally – just film it.
NTA.
Your sister is AH and your mom is AH.
You are not.
NTA … Grey rock your sister, do not communicate with her on her terms. You get what you deserve if you do nothing about it. And she’s 20, what a loser.
Nta. I would keep it on yyou at all times. I wouldn’t put it past her to hide it so you miss your trip. Also get a rubber doorstop and put it under the door when you’re in your room. She wont be able to open it any more.
NTA but your sister is like this because her parents don’t care to be parents.
I’d also suggest putting a chair or something heavy against your door so she can not barge in
NTA at all. I have an uncle that is just like your sister, he is my father’s brother and he lives with us because he doesn’t have a house on his own and the job that he has is because of my father ( he wants to help him because he is his brother) however none in the house trust him enough to let him alone in the house. Because of these we always keep the doors of the bedrooms locked 🔒 because he had stolen things from us, even my grandmother ( who is his and my father’s mother) doesn’t trust him. I remember that a day in which he give me my grandmother’s card for the public transport in my city (since I didn’t find mine), he told me that my grandmother give it to him, when I came back I decided to give it back to my grandmother and she asked where did I get it? and I told her the true, she was so angry because when she asked him about the card he told that he lost it(which of course was a lie).
So you aren’t TA, I recommend you to hide not only the passport but any valuable objects or documents that you have and keep the place where yo hide them locked with key. We do that when he is olene in the house.