When is the right time in a relationship to share personal or sensitive information?
This includes topics like debt, loans, past surgeries, congenital conditions, sexual history, traumatic experiences, jobs that might carry stigma (such as sex work), childhood trauma, or family situations that could be embarrassing.
At what stage of the relationship is it best to open up about these things?
While you’re still getting to know each other?
After a year of being together?
Or is it better to wait until you’re seriously considering marriage?
Comments
> When is the right time in a relationship to share personal or sensitive information?
Myself, personally: before officially in a relationship.
> This includes topics like debt, loans, past surgeries, congenital conditions, sexual history, traumatic experiences, jobs that might carry stigma (such as sex work), childhood trauma, or family situations that could be embarrassing
Yeah I want to know all of that before I’m committing.
> At what stage of the relationship is it best to open up about these things?
Before we’re official.
> While you’re still getting to know each other?
Yes, that’s part of the “getting to know you” process
> After a year of being together?
Absolutely not, I want all of the information before I spend a year of my life with someone.
> Or is it better to wait until you’re seriously considering marriage?
If someone waited until we’re actually at the engagement stage and then dropped a bomb on me about debt, congenital conditions, sex work, trauma, etc., we’d officially be over.
I’d generally do it as soon as possible like a trauma exchange best know what you’re working with and vice versa but I’m also insane
I think it’s when you’re both pretty sure that this is something serious (I don’t need a first-date trauma-dumping on me) but before your lives get super-intertwined.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but the best time to share personal baggage or vulnerabilities in a relationship is when trust and emotional safety have been established. This usually happens once the relationship feels serious and both partners are invested in building a future together, often after several months of dating but before major commitments like marriage.
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