My ex (38m) works as a contractor under the table. I’m (25f) still getting his paychecks on my cash app 3 years after us breaking up (I broke up with him due to this type of thing. Wouldn’t get a drivers license, no bank account, a w2 job, no credit score. Simple things that I consider a priority as an adult but he didn’t. Which is fine. That’s his choice. But it was my choice not to deal with it).
It’s honestly a minor inconvenience for me. It really is so I feel like an asshole to make a big deal out of it. He sends me his checks and I either pay it out to my dad who pays him (this is what we do 98% of the time) or my ex comes to me and I pay him out and I take the payment. We are still on friendly level, I go fishing with him and my dad regularly, etc. which is why I tried to not make a big deal before about it. But at this point, it’s getting annoying.
He’s a man who’s almost 40 and doesn’t have a bank account so he can’t make his own cash app. It’s kind of ridiculous I feel that I’m still getting his paychecks, 3 years later. Would I be the asshole if I just delete my cash app all together and tell him he’ll have to find a different way? Or should I just continue dealing with it as it really is just a minor inconvenience…it just feels like a “it’s the principal” issue to me.
EDIT: let me add that these are small sums of money. $100 here and there and never exceeding even a thousand in a year so it’s technically not even reportable. But I 100% see everyone’s concerns. I’ve deleted my cashapp and will be informing him that he needs to find an alternative because I won’t be involved with it anymore.
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My ex (38m) works as a contractor under the table. I’m (25f) still getting his paychecks on my cash app 3 years after us breaking up (I broke up with him due to this type of thing. Wouldn’t get a drivers license, no bank account, a w2 job, no credit score. Simple things that I consider a priority as an adult but he didn’t. Which is fine. That’s his choice. But it was my choice not to deal with it).
It’s honestly a minor inconvenience for me. It really is so I feel like an asshole to make a big deal out of it. He sends me his checks and I either pay it out to my dad who pays him (this is what we do 98% of the time) or my ex comes to me and I pay him out and I take the payment. We are still on friendly level, I go fishing with him and my dad regularly, etc. which is why I tried to not make a big deal before about it. But at this point, it’s getting annoying.
He’s a man who’s almost 40 and doesn’t have a bank account so he can’t make his own cash app. It’s kind of ridiculous I feel that I’m still getting his paychecks, 3 years later. Would I be the asshole if I just delete my cash app all together and tell him he’ll have to find a different way? Or should I just continue dealing with it as it really is just a minor inconvenience…it just feels like a “it’s the principal” issue to me.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action id be taking that makes me feel like an asshole is deleting my cashapp on him where I’m currently receiving his paychecks. I don’t want to cut off his one place to get his paychecks from clients who don’t have cash but I’m also sick of dealing with the minor inconvenience. “It’s the principal”.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You shouldn’t be inconvenienced by having to deal with his money, that’s ridiculous. He’s a grown ass man, why the hell doesn’t he have a bank account? Why have you let this go on so long?
Nta
>WIBTA if I deleted my (acccount)
Nope. NTA No other justification needed.
Charge him a 5% convenience fee for doing his paperwork for him. He’s your ex so why do you care how he chooses to live his life? But you are silly for providing this service for him for nothing. NAH.
Delete that cash app NOW. You’re helping him to commit fraud and avoid taxes, you can absolutely end up in hot water legally or with the IRS for doing this. NTA.
NTA
I don’t know WTF you were thinking in the first place, dating someone that age, with all those problems, when you were barely an adult yourself.
But FFS, make a clean break.
NTA but you better PRAY they never look at all your cash app activity and bang you on the taxes. If they do you’ll deserve it
If you are receiving his pay in your cashapp, I think you could be at risk of getting a 1099 for that income. Maybe not, but I wouldn’t take that risk on for an ex.
NTA – you’re not together any more, why should you still be involved in his personal or financial business? Tell him you’re not going to be doing it any more, and if he’s so determined to live outside the system, including the banking system, he can make as similar arrangement with someone else – maybe your father, since he seems to be so involved in the process.
NTA.
There’s absolutely no reason for you to keep doing this. He WILL figure it out when he’s forced to.
Not sure which app, but you can probably just block the payer and not have to delete it. But if you’re not using it otherwise, go ahead and delete it.
>I was a handler for a manchild for 3 years
Get a life holy shit
NTA. It’s weird for you to be parenting a man who is thirteen years older than you, especially when you’re only 25.
You’re an accessary to tax fraud with what you’re doing. End it now, and then you should probably delete this post and/or your reddit account. Lord knows the IRS isn’t going to be doing a lot of audits this year, but if he draws the short stick you can find yourself in real trouble.
NTA
You aren’t this man’s mother. Since he has such a good relationship with your dad, maybe he can take over parenting your ex and receive the CashApp payments for him.
NTA. he probably has a court order to confiscate his wages (unpaid child support or whatever) and that´s why he works only under the table and has no bank account. you are probably being used as unwitting accoplice of fraud or something shady.
Good lord, I think you’re overdue to move somewhere far away from both this man and your father who is somehow fine with an almost-40-year-old using his 25-year-old daughter as an unpaid secretary who is maybe also an accomplice to income tax fraud. You’re too young to just live like this forever, start a life away from these bottom of the barrel people while you still can.
NTA. You are not his money changer. Give him 48 hours to get it together then delete it.
NTA
Girl delete that now. You can get into so much trouble if someone reports him for tax evasion. Why would you do this for someone for so long?
NTA and you know you’re committing a crime right? You could be in serious trouble to the point of being arrested/facing jail time if he gets caught
WNBTA. Honestly you are doing God’s work enabling this grown man to live like an off-grid raccoon for three years post-breakup. You deserve a medal and a therapist.
Deleting your Cash App is not mean. It is not dramatic. It is not even mildly rude. It is the natural consequence of being an adult woman who does not want to run an unpaid adult babysitting service for her ex’s financial incompetence. If he is capable of catching fish, he is capable of catching a clue and getting his own bank account. Or a prepaid card. Or a shoebox. Literally anything.
You are not his personal fintech solution. Delete the app. Reclaim your time. Let him figure it out like the rest of us.
The irs is going to think it was yours!
Start charging a 25% fee to be the middle man.
Is he dodging child support? If yes, YTA.
Here’s why you need to fix this – if he’s getting paid significant money under the table, he may well be committing tax evasion by not reporting it as income. You do NOT need to be associated with that potential crime.
Cash the next paycheck and have it delivered with this message: “We’ve been separated for 3 years, and I don’t need to be a part of your finances any longer. I’m deleting my Cash App account in two weeks; you have that long to set up your own bank account and your own Cash App”…and stick to it.
Problem solved.
NTA.
NTA, particularly since if you get caught up by the IRS if he gets caught. I can’t imagine whomever he works for isn’t claiming something for paying him. Otherwise the IRS will come after him, and you. Unless these are small sums of money.
Keep in mind, that’s how they got Jimmy Hoffa lol
NTA. You should have done that when you broke up.
Like others have said, you’re knowingly helping him to commit tax fraud. This puts you at risk.
Has it occurred to you that he may also be doing this because he’s avoiding paying some sort of judgment against him? It could be any kind of court judgment, but the most common would be child support. He may not be able to get a license for similar reasons. There is a distinct possibility that it just not being a priority for him was a big old lie and he has some secrets he just didn’t want to tell you because they aren’t a good look.
NTA. Start charging him a handling fee (10%) and tell him he’s got a month to make other arrangements. Aren’t you participating in tax fraud right now? Is this income being reported?
NTA. This could potentially cause issues for you regarding income and taxes. He’s a grown up, he can arrange his own finances.
Are these payments in your name? I know PayPal, and other payment apps send out 1099s, and it could be a tax catastrophe for you. It can take years to catch you, but they get theirs
NTA
I wouldn’t delete it though. I would just start charging him a fee
Those aren’t your sole options. I would give the guy a heads up that it’s not an option anymore and he needs to find another way. For any further transactions arriving in your inbox as of today’s date, you will be charging him a 50%, 75%, 90% fee. And then stick to your word.
NTA – this is taxable income for you in the current setup. If you got audited, this would be your problem.
You are enabling the exact behavior that made him your ex in the first place. I personally wouldn’t want any part of that. He will never grow up and take responsibility as long as you enable him. YTA for doing it for so long already.
NTA – he’s a grown man. He can figure it out.
Whatever he was doing before you dated, he can do that.
Delete your cash app. Block his number. I’d also ask your dad not to go fishing together any more.
Clean break. He’s not your responsibility.
You are aiding in tax fraud. You can get in trouble
NTA – text him a week in advance, delete the app, block his number. Move on with your life
You’re a dipshit for allowing this to go on for so long. You are now liable for income tax on that money.
Personally I’d just keep the next check that comes through and let him figure out how to get paid.
NTA
He’s your ex for a reason. It’s his problem. Not yours
He probably is hiding his income by doing this, because he owes child support or hasn’t paid taxes or something.
Delete your cash app. There are a dozen other ways he can cash those checks.
The threshold for a 1099 is 600 dollars so yes it’s probably reportable.
SIS!
3 YEARS?
FFS, stop already. Let this grown ass child get his own app.
Download the tranaction history first in case you’re ever questioned about it, you’ll want to have the paper trail proving it got to him. Who knows, he could get pissed one day & say you kept all the $ for yourself.
NTA
Reminds me of the time when my ex and I broke up in 2017, and in 2020, he called me asking where to vote because he was STILL REGISTERED TO VOTE FROM MY PARENTS’ ADDRESS.
He met another woman in 2022, and in 2023 they broke up, and she blew up my then-fiancé’s DMs telling him that me and my ex were having an emotional affair. We weren’t. We’d texted twice in the last 12 months. And I was about 6 months pregnant at the time.
Cut the purse strings, and watch your back.
It’s not “under the table” if it’s sent to you via cash app. Just FYI, you’ve been taxed on his earnings every year.
You’re NTA for not wanting to deal with this anymore but i would say just give him a heads up first before you do it. Just say “hey im not comfortable with this anymore so after this check you need to figure out something else”
NTA but you realize tax evasion is a federal felony right? This guy sounds like a dumbass destined to get caught. Do you really want to be an accessory to those charges?
Bummmmm
NTA. He doesn’t need a bank to make a cash app account, they route through their own bank. It’s extremely easy to sign up for an account, he’s purely just lazy.
NTA
The Bank of OP is closed!
Esh because you’re helping him commit tax fraud lol
If you delete the app, does it delete your account? I don’t think so. I think the money will just rack up.
Tell your ex that you want out. Tell your father to pay him with cash.
And stop letting these men use you.
Sooo is he paying taxes on that $? It would be real interesting for the IRS to get involved, sis.