My college recently had an event with pizza which included gluten free pizza. This was a big deal for me as I cannot have gluten and it’s very rare that events actually offer gluten free pizza. I was also aware of at least two other people attending the event who could not have gluten.
The gluten free pizza box was labeled “GF” for gluten free. There were only about six pieces left in the box, and I wasn’t sure if the other gluten free people had any yet, so I grabbed two. A girl then came up behind me, asking why the pizza looked so small. I then told her it was gluten free. She responded by saying “oh, that sounds cool.” and she went to grab some. Now I promise, I am normally NEVER one to gatekeep gluten free food, but I was worried about anyone else who might have a gluten allergy missing out.
I checked in with her making sure she wanted it and she was like “yeah why not?” I then informed her that gluten is a serious allergy for many people and gluten free pizza is hard to come by. I told her my concern about there only being a few slices left and asked if she wouldn’t mind leaving it for us who couldn’t have gluten. She didn’t seem to understand and gave me a confused look, shrugged, then took three slices of the gluten free pizza, leaving only one slice left. I asked her why she still went for it and she said she just wanted to try it (odd if you’re grabbing three slices…).
I told her she could’ve tried gluten free pizza on her own time but it wasn’t fair for her to take it in a social event where supply is limited. She started to get frustrated with me and accused me of gatekeeping (just as I was worried would happen). I reiterated that trying gluten free on your own is fine, but she made it so only one slice was left for people who couldn’t have gluten. She then just scoffed at me walked off.
I do have to wonder if I maybe overstepped, because looking back it does seem like she just somehow genuinely didn’t understand that some people can’t have gluten and I might’ve gone too far. AITA?
Edit: thank you for so many different perspectives so fast. I appreciate all of your input and realize I should have stopped after making sure she wanted it. I will try to speak to the people who are in charge of orders for these school events and ask them that they order more gluten free pizzas to make sure there is enough to go around. Thank you all.
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My college recently had an event with pizza which included gluten free pizza. This was a big deal for me as I cannot have gluten and it’s very rare that events actually offer gluten free pizza. I was also aware of at least two other people attending the event who could not have gluten.
The gluten free pizza box was labeled “GF” for gluten free. There were only about six pieces left in the box, and I wasn’t sure if the other gluten free people had any yet, so I grabbed two. A girl then came up behind me, asking why the pizza looked so small. I then told her it was gluten free. She responded by saying “oh, that sounds cool.” and she went to grab some. Now I promise, I am normally NEVER one to gatekeep gluten free food, but I was worried about anyone else who might have a gluten allergy missing out.
I checked in with her making sure she wanted it and she was like “yeah why not?” I then informed her that gluten is a serious allergy for many people and gluten free pizza is hard to come by. I told her my concern about there only being a few slices left and asked if she wouldn’t mind leaving it for us who couldn’t have gluten. She didn’t seem to understand and gave me a confused look, shrugged, then took three slices of the gluten free pizza, leaving only one slice left. I asked her why she still went for it and she said she just wanted to try it (odd if you’re grabbing three slices…).
I told her she could’ve tried gluten free pizza on her own time but it wasn’t fair for her to take it in a social event where supply is limited. She started to get frustrated with me and accused me of gatekeeping (just as I was worried would happen). I reiterated that trying gluten free on your own is fine, but she made it so only one slice was left for people who couldn’t have gluten. She then just scoffed at me walked off.
I do have to wonder if I maybe overstepped, because looking back it does seem like she just somehow genuinely didn’t understand that some people can’t have gluten and I might’ve gone too far. AITA?
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> 1. I slightly told a girl off for taking gluten free pizza when other people at the event needed it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
ESH. You didn’t pay for the pizza, it doesn’t belong to you. She was greedy.
YTA
The pizza is there for everyone.
YTA can you please post a picture of your Pizza Police badge. That would be awesome.
ESH, not everything needs your input.
ESH. You didn’t fully have the right to be so persistent about it, but I fully see your side and don’t think there was harm in at least mentioning it to her. When she waved it off sadly you should’ve backed off since you didn’t pay for it.
But she definitely sucks more. That’s so selfish of her
Slight YTA. Your frustration is valid, but calling her out so directly might have come off as gatekeeping, a gentler approach could have gone over better.
YTA. Informing someone is fine. Continuing to barrage them is not. It sounds like she was generally unaware of what gluten allergies are and why the GF pizza was there. But honestly? It’s an event with free food that you didn’t pay for. You informed her why it was there, but after that it’s not your circus anymore and she’s not your monkey.
NTA definitely nta, the girl definitely seems very ignorant however like you said it does seem like she didn’t really understand, but you taking the time to explain and based on the post you explained well yeah she’s in the wrong definitely not you
On the upside, considering the taste, that will probably be the last time they will want one…
Well shit, if she’s so open to gluttonously trying new experiences maybe you can treat her to a whole six-pack of whoop ass. Some people just wanna be aholes.
NTA. Hope you can find a place nearby that does good gf food, maybe make a little gf foodies group with the others you know will enjoy it?
Tough call… I can see why you mentioned it, and I definitely think she was rude for taking 3 slices of a limited item, but she should be able to take one without anyone needing to comment.
I think initially mentioning it was fine, but pushing it probably went too far.
The fault is really with the organizers. If you are going to advertise gluten-free availability, you should have enough to share OR place a sign that it is only for those who are gf. The same goes with veggie and lactose-free pizzas.
I have celiac and it’s rare for gf options, especially when it’s pizza. I would have said something, at least, yeah sure have a slice, try it but would have given her shit for taking three, especially when it’s a small six slice pizza. Why would she even want it? Almost all gf pizza suck, I wish I could eat the real stuff!
As a vegan, I have the same feelings. I personally have never said anything to anyone, and don’t think I would. And gluten free is a whole other level, vegan is often a choice whereas gluten free is not. I think your comment was justified. She had so many other choices for food, but chose to eat someone else’s only option, forcing a gluten free person to have no choice in eating at all.
NTA. If you are “trying” pizza you’ve never had before, you don’t take three slices of it. She either didn’t know what gluten-free meant, and couldn’t be bothered listening to your explanation, or she did not give a damn about anybody but herself.
I totally understand your wanting to stand up for the other people who have no choice to eat GF or not eat at all. I can’t have gluten either & it’s definitely a pain. I think the company should’ve done a better job providing if at least three people couldn’t have it. (Sidenote–my husband and I had two friends over the other day and ordered three different pizzas just to be sure they liked at least one LOL) it sounds like if they had two GF pizzas it would’ve been more manageable. I think informing her once was appropriate and anything more, without knowing those pieces are specifically for someone else, is taking it too far. I would have been bummed if I was a coworker and saw only one piece left & found out someone who could have something else didn’t. I think as GF people we are semi-used to it but it still sucks. I appreciate your efforts to look out for your fellow GFers
YTA
First come first serve. Plus the college paid for the pizza, not you. She has the same right as you, and as everyone else there to pick whatever pizza she wants.
NTA. she should have taken regular pizza
I think you did the right thing. Someone didn’t get to eat anything because of her.
I’m not going to say you were an a hole but like say something once if they don’t listen leave it alone. Over stepped.
exactly, that’s why OP said something. what if the other GF people couldn’t have any pizza because that girl took it all?
YTA you didn’t buy it, next time ask to be the party police. After your nagging she probably took it out of spite.
NTA.
Yes, OP didn’t pay for it, and it’s a school event. However, oftentimes, at these sorts of events, gluten-free food is severely limited, and there are often maybe 1-2 boxes. The gluten-free pizzas are also much smaller.
The other person can try gluten-free pizza with maybe 1 slice out of respect for people who MEDICALLY need to be gluten-free like OP. However, this still poses a risk of cross-contamination, which can put those who need to be gluten-free at risk of an allergic reaction or other reactions if they have a sensitivity/intolerance to gluten. For context, I have celiac disease, meaning I will have a bad reaction if I eat something that even touched gluten (the food itself or someone who has gluten on their hands touching it).
I can’t speak for OP on this as I don’t know their diagnosis for being gluten-free. But they may have to worry about the cross contamination too.
She shouldn’t have been greedy.
You were OK to mention the issue once, but you moved on to gatekeeping – and you didn’t buy the food.
ESH.
NTA
Just FYI – the Coeliac Society in my country does research into foods that are advertised as gf, how often they’re contaminated etc., and pizza is always the worst offender, has something like a 1/3rd contamination rate (33%). Which makes sense given I can easily imagine the tools, pizza oven base etc. aren’t cleaned of all flour and other pizza crust remnants before the gf pizza is baked, in many places.
NTA.
It’s incredibly insensitive of her to take the only food that celiac people are able to eat, if you don’t have any condition that prevents you from eating gluten you shouldn’t be taking gluten free products from people who actually need it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRZjK50ISEA
“YOU COULDA HAD ANYTHING ON THAT TABLE BUT NO”
Fr tho after you told her the first time you should have left it BUT be sure to tell any celiacs that come after that she took the rest
NTA You were nicer than I would have been. I would have closed the box lid down and told her it was only for people with allergies to gluten.
ESH. You didn’t pay for it so you don’t get a say. It was nice of you to try to save some for others but ultimately it’s free pizza for everyone
NTA people without dietary restrictions seem oblivious that people with them exist and you’re a hero for trying to spread awareness
ESH. She should have taken one piece to try. You should have dropped it after mentioning it once.
Keep in mind, an empty pizza box brandished at the organizers is proof that gluten free pizza was appreciated and eaten, and that they should order more for future events.
Nta, even if it wasn’t a gf pizza, it’s incredibly rude to take 3 slices of pizza and leave only 1 slice left. It being the only gf pizza makes her the biggest AH. You did nothing wrong
I didn’t realize gluten free pizza was so rare. All the generic pizza chains by me offer gluten free pizza. YTA
NTA.
How dare you gatekeep her from what, in my experience, is a wildly inferior product? The nerve
FWIW, there absolutely ARE good gluten free pizzas out there, and my wife is gluten free, so that’s what we eat at home, but damn I love getting my hands on a good gluten-y pie time to time.
NTA. If she only took one slice, she’s a slight AH but understandable she’s curious.
Her talking 3/4?! She sucks and you were right to call her out. Dietary restrictions, esp ones ppl don’t choose, are already crappy. She’s the kind who makes it worse than it has to be.
NTA. Gatekeeping is a new term that imo is overused. I call what you did calling someone on their entitlement.
Crazy entitlement.
Also, most people who eat gluten regularly will not enjoy gluten-free (unless it is darn well made). She probably tossed two slices of pizza that others could have (possibly needed to) eat.
She was definitely an asshole for taking so much to “try” it. I’d normally say it’s not your place to question a strangers reasoning for taking some, but she made it pretty apparent that she doesn’t have a gluten allergy or intolerance, and you didn’t make a big scene or anything so NTA.
I’d let the organizers know what happened so they can be aware for next time and either order more GF pizza or make sure themselves that only folks who can’t have gluten take some of that pizza. It’s not okay that this girl made it so folks who need it can’t have any just bc she was curious.
People always take the food meant for people who literally can’t eat anything else. It makes me hate humanity
NTA but I’m biased as I’m severely intolerant. I don’t think people say you are Y T A understand how socially isolating and frustrating it is to have the one thing you can eat taken. Kicker is GF pizza is far inferior to normal so it’s not like you’re holding a treat from her.
Go forth and defend GF options and vegan / veg / lactose free as needed with tactful and firm well thought through zingers. Face it your going to need them as you face limited resources. Say at a wedding where you have put in RSVP dietary restrictions and you meet someone saying “no I didn’t put it down but I just get bloated ha ha and want to detox from wine last night” real life even after bride announced “don’t eat from dietary section of buffet unless it was on your RSVP” as limited amount available for those who actually needed it.
As somebody who is allergic to pork I understand this completely. I’m usually lucky if there is one cheese or vegetarian pizza. Everyone swears they only want pepperoni, but somehow there is never any cheese left for me or I’m lucky to get a tiny slice while everyone else has 3 or 4. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. But I think only asking her once is most appropriate. She’s an adult. A rude adult but still an adult.
NTA – and for the future, the correct response is ‘you’re damn right I’m gate keeping the only food that some people aren’t allergic to from the people who can eat everything else here’.
YTA. She may have an intolerance and doesn’t want to tell you, and thats why she took more than 1 slice. And while I understand the frustration due to the limited amount, this is just the nature of there being shared foods at events, people will take the food they want
NTA. The event didn’t provide the gluten free as one more option for the mix, it was an accommodation for those who needed it. The event should have put a sign asking people to reserve that pizza for those with allergies, but you were in the right to attempt to help those coming behind you. Someone probably didn’t get to eat because of her selfish actions.
YTA.
I think your comment was justified, but she probably would’ve only taken one slice instead of three if you hadn’t said anything. Sounds like she was just trying to push your buttons. She probably took a bite then threw them all away honestly
How did you know she wasn’t trying it because other, non-GF pizza has given her stomach troubles?
Telling someone is fine. But beyond that you need to mind your own business.
NTA. I’ve seen people do this all the time when there are vegetarian or no meat pizzas. People who are fine eating whatever will grab all of the cheese or veggie pizza and leave none for the people who actually don’t eat meat. When you’re at an event, you need to be a little more considerate than you are eating at home. I know this is hard for people.
NTA i worked catering for many years and can tell you this happens so often that we usually would put up a sign saying GF available upon request. We always had dietary restrictions ahead of time and had food available (GF, Vegetarian, Pescatarian, etc) so unless the event had mass amounts of those foods available we kept them in back, i guess you could say we were gatekeepers, until we identified who those people were and could serve them accordingly. There would be times new people would put them out, someone would take them & we’d be rushing to the kitchen to get some made on the fly. It sucks you’re the one who had to say something to her, the event organizers should’ve been on top of that. Even worse that she disregarded it. Either way, don’t feel bad. In the future, consider saying something to the event staff. It’s likely not an issue they ever considered if it doesn’t affect them and if they knew would probably also be upset thinking they did the right thing by GF individuals only for others to take it.
ESH
What sort of fat girl grabs 3 slices at a time in a social event?
On the other hand you were also an asshole because you made something your business that really wasnt your business to have. Saying something once to inform them that its a gluten free pizza for people who are sensitive/allergic is fine. Once you went passed that you became an a-hole as well
NTA, gluten free pizza is so much worse than normal pizza, why even bother trying it?
Taking 3 slices as well is a real dick move.
NTA
Obviously it was wrong for the girl to take the pizza, which is the only pizza some people could have. She could have other pizza without blocking the GF people from having any pizza at all.
She didn’t need to “try” it. That is not an excuse. What if I wanted to “try” a wheelchair at a hospital, leaving someone who can’t walk unable to get out? The weight of “trying” something is too small a consideration to compare to the weight of including differently abled people.
Some YTA people call this “policing” or say that the girl has a “right” to the pizza. These are wrong. Not everything you have a right to do is right. I have a right to cheat on my spouse. It’s wrong. It’s also not policing to try to tell people that what they are doing selfishly excludes a group of people who the host of the party clearly attempted to include. Thus, it also does not matter if OP did not buy the pizza. They were advocating for what the host clearly intended.
Lastly, continuing to badger her was the right move, contra many YTA and ESH people here (who are all just so deeply, deeply wrong). Rude and selfish public behavior should be countered. This girl just did not want to be told what to do and wanted to have her way. We should not have a society where such people consistently go unchecked. The world would be much worse.
NTA. If I was at an event like that and saw something labelled as such, I wouldn’t touch it. Similarly (though obviously it’s not an allergy, so technically less of a big deal) if there was only one thing that was vegan I would leave that alone, too.
Call me cynical, but she probably knew exactly what GF meant and is one of those people who believe most allergies aren’t real, so thought she’d try and force people to eat the ‘normal’ food. (Not realising that actually they’d just end up going hungry.)
NTA- this is a common complaint in vegetarian circles with cheese pizza too. Nobody wants it/request it than it’s the first thing gone and people who can’t eat anything else didn’t get any 🫠. It’s really rude to take 75% (of whats left) of something you don’t even know if you like especially after being explicitly told there’s other people who can’t eat anything else. some people are just really inconsiderate. I’d be willing to bet if the college went all gluten free or even just got more people would be complaining nobody wants that. just a couple of greedy people ruin it for everybody else.
You did not overstep. She is an asshole. I have food allergies and these people are exhausting.
It’s just funny that people who can eat ANYTHING always want the novelty of trying something that is the only thing people with celiac and gluten allergies can eat. You are NTA
NTA – it’s crazy to me she doubled down and took so much when she clearly doesn’t have an allergy. She could have had 1 to try!
NTA
I commend you for attempting to do others a favor by trying to make sure they had pizza available they could eat.
I really am shocked that someone in college should be so completely out of the loop in terms of what it means to need to eat GF food. Honestly even one slice of a limited food that is the only option for some of the people attending is rude but three slices is beyond that level of rudeness because three slices is more than most people would take of even “regular” food at a social function.