i brush my teeth maybe once every 3-4 weeks, i barely ever wash my face, my room is so disgusting, i eat too much or not enough, my bras arent clean, my clothes arent clean, i cant see the floor in my room, i cant stop with SH, every time i go to bed i desperately hope i dont wake up in the morning
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Hey OP, things are really hard for you right now. Is there anyone you trust to share this with who can help in any way? Do you live with others? There’s a pathway out of this for you. I know it feels impossible to see it right now but it really is there. Have you ever tried calling a hotline? Sometimes you have to try speaking with a few different people before you find someone that you feel comfortable with. Can you try that? I’ll be thinking of you. There’s this quote from a Bruce Cockburn song that has always given me hope in the haaaaaard times: “You got to kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight”. Keep kicking, OP. 💕
Find things to take joy and pleasure in. It does get better. At the worst of my depression I remember leaving the house during the middle of summer, and the next time I left the house….it was SNOWING O_O