Idk why, but ever since two years ago, everytime I got high, my mind always wandered back to a specific event.
I remember being around 10 or 11. I was at my grandma’s house for the summer along with my sister. During this time, we both slept in her room. She slept in the bed with grandma and I slept on a cot that she had available. My uncle stays with my grandma and he was there at the time.
And without fail, ever single time I get high I think about somebody touching me while I was trying to go to sleep. It’s either that or I was awoken by that sensation. I also sometimes have flashbacks to being pinned down and forced or something, but I can never make out what happened next.
I remember having dreams about these moments long before I even started smoking weed. But it seems like ever time I smoke it just amplifies that memory.
Idk if my mind is creating false memories or what.
I want to talk to my mom about it, but I doubt it’ll help any, so I’m just gonna ride it out until I can get a therapist.