So this may not be the worst thing, but its the worst things I’ve done. I decided to get a second dog for myself cause I could financially support it. I then recently found out that I wasn’t allowed to get another dog due to being in apartment. I talked to my grandparents who had a backyard, and they said they’d love to take the dog in until I found a house to rent when my lease is up. Under the very specific instructions to not let him outside on his own (since he was an escape artist, which the shelter horrendously downplayed).
4 days after we adopted him, I had a feeling I should have went to my grandparent’s house first thing in the morning to see him but I didn’t. I decided to wait an hour to relax at my apartment. I got the horrific call that my grandma had left him outside for less than a minute by himself and he had wedged beneath the fence and took off.
I feel absolutely horrific about this and keep going through the “what ifs”. If I hadn’t adopted him when my apartment said no, would he have gone to a family where he wouldn’t have ran? If I had just showed up to my grandparents’ at the time I usually did, maybe I could have prevented it.
The guilt I feel is so horrific that I want to vomit. I’ve gotten to the point where I am suicidal over not being able to protect that sweet baby. I’m doing everything I possibly can to get him back but I can’t shake the feeling that its my fault for adopting him. Maybe if I had left him at the shelter, he’d be in a home where he couldn’t leave.
I’m on a throwaway because I don’t believe I can take it anymore, but I need to get it off my chest before I end my life over a dog that ran away (but is very much alive somewhere) that I had for 4 days.
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He will turn up. I hope he’s wearing a collar with your phone number on it!!! I’ve had a dog who was an escape artist and it’s just what they do. She was a 65lb dog who would squish herself under a fence that was 6 inches off the ground to eat garbage. Find him and work on recall as a priority! If he listens to you, you can control whether he goes or how far he escapes to!!!
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Deleted my previous comment…sorry. Is his microchip up to date with your info? Make sure you check local shelters frequently. Also post on Nextdoor, pawboost, etc. Hopefully you find him.
Have you looked for the dog and put up flyers in the neighborhood?
I hope that you can get past the guilt. My former roommate’s dog has run away several times over the years. It happened twice shortly after she got her. One of those times was my fault. I was unpacking groceries, and I hadn’t gotten used to the fact there was an animal in the house, so I left the door open as I was transferring groceries to and from the car. All of a sudden, I realized the dog was outside. What transpired after that was a lengthy pursuit, because she thought it was all a game. She ended up running down an incredibly busy street, and another car literally parked sideways to block traffic so she wouldn’t get run over. Thankfully at that point, she approached my car and I snatched her.
Years later, and she’s safe and happy, but she’s the type of dog that can escape from pretty much any harness if she wants to, so there have been multiple chases. I just hope that some of your guilt can subside, because some dogs are very good at running away.