I was driving to work today and I drove past a guy sitting on the crash rail on the edge of the highway. I drove past but something about his posture stuck in my mind and I realized that holy shit, this guy was thinking about suicide. I turned off at the next exit and parked at a parking lot on the hill below. I started waking up the hill and an older guy who was smoking stopped me and asked me what was up and I said I’d driven past that guy up there and he looked real fucking despondent so I was going to check on him. Took a few more steps and then the smoker said he was going to go up too. I went around in front of the guy so he wouldn’t be spooked and bolt.
The guy was a really young black guy- I guessed 22 but he was 21. He kept saying he was fine but we told him it was okay if he wasn’t and we were worried and wanted to talk. I told him that I’d been in the same place he’d been in the past. I asked him if he was thinking about suicide avx he said yeah. We got him to follow us back to the smoker’s work which happened to be a men’s shelter and the poor suicidal guy just kept saying he was sorry over and over. I used to do the same thing. He was so fucking young and unlike the smoker and I he still has all his teeth.
He was so sweet and sad. I talked at him for like 45 minutes. All three of us liked video games so we talked about that. I showed him my paintings. We asked what music he liked and he likes musicals so we talked about our favorite musicals. I showed him my paintings and told him that the creative arts had given a voice to things I couldn’t talk about. We got him to let us call the mental health center crisis team and we waited until they came. I shook his hand and then left.
I hope they treasured him. I hope they understood how vulnerable he was and how much unkindness would hurt him right now. Seeking mental health care ruined my life- I was misdiagnosed and drugged to hell and treated very poorly and ended up hospitalized like 8 times and the hospital sued me because I couldn’t pay my bills and they garnished my wages and in my state you can drain your bank account on top of that and they did it for a decade and I lost heat and running water and my cat died and it just destroyed me in a way that is permanent. I just get hysterical when I have to deal with health care now because there is no hard stop on institutional predatory behavior against the mentally ill. They can really do anything to you because they know you are too sick to stop them and you won’t be believed and even when you are believed no one cares enough to stand up for you.
I hope I didn’t just throw him to the wolves. Please, please let them care for him and not hurt him. He was so sweet. I was so sweet.
When all these things were happening to me I always wondered about all the people who would just watch and not do anything. I got attached at a Hy-Vee once and all these people just walked by with their carts trying not to look. I would wish someone would just do something or say anything.
But now I know I’m not that kind of person who could just walk by and say it’s not my responsibility. I’m a human being and so was he and he was in pain, so it was my responsibility. It is everyone’s responsibility. I hope the people at the mental health center really understand how momentus that responsibility is. Whatever they say or do to him now will never leave him. He was so vulnerable. Please let them care for him. Please.
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You showed him someone cares. He’s going to remember that for years and years to come. What a difference one person can make!
Amazing post. Thank you for doing what you did. You have a good soul, the world needs more people like you. ❤️❤️
Hey OP, I hope you know that I’m proud of you as you should be of yourself. It takes one person to be that change, that conversation with him during such a dire time probably meant everything to him. You are the light that you once seeked in such a dark moment of their life. Thank you for showing your kindness and being able to have that strength especially after going through so much yourself.
Wishing nothing but the best for you and that stranger. 🫶
Sometimes all it takes is someone to see us and hear us. To keep us holding on. I see you and hear you too. Don’t give up on your healing despite being let down by the system. Keep spreading love and bringing light to the darkness. Perhaps you’ve found your purpose and the purpose of pain. And maybe understanding of your own experience can bring peace to others, while also to yourself. Big love.
You have a beautiful heart. I know this young man will always be grateful for your help. Receiving kindness when you are in one of the most hopeless moments in life…..is incomparable.
Love to you and the young soul you saved today. ❤️
I’m agree. You were an angel to him in that moment. May we all have the eyes to see, we are all connected and important to one another. Hope you are doing ok after such a heavy encounter! You did your best, and definitely made a positive impact in his life.
You did an amazing thing. Someone reaching out and caring. I pray his life gets better and I pray you are healed from your difficult past. Life is tough these days. All we have is each other.
You did the right thing.
He’s going to think about that forever.
He will thank you 1000x in his lifetime and you won’t ever know.
He will think of you during his worst time as to not give up, he has to make it bc you helped him and he will think of you through his best times, that he made it bc a couple of strangers cared about him.
Men’s mental health is at an all time low, especially with how it’s going in America for black and brown people, and other minorities. Showing a man kidness and especially that there is something better on the otherside. Is way more impactful than you think it is.
It’s mostly a cage of our own making, toxic masculinity and all that but helping eachother break out is breaking that cycle.
Thank you for trying your best
I hope you run into eachother one day
I’m sending you big love. You have been through hardship yourself and it allowed you to notice and help this young man through his. I was in a rough spot when I was a teenager, and I was walking through the halls of my school thinking about how I wanted to end it that night. A kid I barely knew but respected came up and waved to me. Just that simple wave and smile brought me out of some serious darkness. I know this young man will likewise always remember your kindness. Thank you, from someone who has needed that kindness myself. If I could send you flowers, I would. I hope you have a beautiful day and that you treat yourself to something wonderful to eat and a movie that lifts your spirits. Here with you ❤️❤️❤️
Saying a prayer for him tonight 🙏🏻
You did the right thing. I am someone who has been there. The times I got interrupted saved my life. This guy got someone who knew how to get him appropriate care too. That’s a miracle. You were a miracle today
I am hoping with you 🙏
Sometimes it takes a stranger to show us what we mean to the world. You didn’t have to intervene, but you did it anyway. I still remember those who did that for me. This guy may not have the opportunity to thank you, but he will remember you, too.
Your pebble hopefully started a ripple The “smoker” stepped in because of you You new friend allowed himself to be seen and heard where he felt he had not been he allowed himself to be loved and heard where will pass that forward someday and your pebble could bring infinite ripples Be proud of your heart and soul—I am!
You’re a good person, thanks for interrupting your day to save his life. The world would be a much better place with more people like you!
Just wanted to comment to say your post had me almost in tears. My best friend just made a suicide attempt a few months ago that landed him in the ICU for more than a week and it has been… so hard to recover from. He has also been majorly failed by the mental health system, and I understand that it’s not always the answer. But I’m really grateful that I still have my best friend, and HE is grateful to be alive… you made a difference in this kid’s life that can never be downplayed. Thank you for being such a compassionate and lovely human ❤️
Wow, thank you for sharing this story. What you did was extremely compassionate and beautiful, and i’m sure he will never forget you because of it. Most people would not be able to do what you just did for him.
I love this, it really made my heart swell. Thank you for your kindness and your compassion, you are an amazing person. You deserve all the best in life and i’m so sorry things have gone so badly before. All I can do is wish that everything goes well for you going forward. Take care of yourself.
As a chronically suicidal person as a result of personality disorder which is NEVER going away – I’d hate your fking guts if I finally decided to go through with it ans someone messed with me.
As you doubt yourself, realize you probably saved a life.
I would imagine there is much better in life than that.
Just allow yourself to celebrate this.
🎶I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend..🎶
Was the only thing playing in my head while reading this. You did a great thing, and even if it didn’t work or make anything any different, you still helped him. He was in a dark place where he couldn’t find a light, and you gave him a match. All you can do now is hope and pray that he finds the right help that he needs to get better and keep going.
God bless you. ❤️
You’re a good person. He will remember you for a long time.
I have C-PTSD as someone who’s chronically ill in big part due to the way we are treated by healthcare workers/insurance companies/drs/hospital bureaucracies