We keep pretending homeschooling is this beautiful, empowering alternative to “the system”—but let’s be honest: for a lot of us, it sucks. It’s isolating. It’s exhausting. It turns parents into underpaid teachers, therapists, and cafeteria staff all in one, with zero support and way too much judgment. And don’t even get me started on the “curriculum.” Half the time it’s either outdated, boring as hell, or trying so hard to be engaging that it completely misses the point. Most kids aren’t thriving—they’re surviving. No social life. No breaks. No sick days. No magic “homeschool community” that everyone swears exists but somehow never shows up when you need it. But if you dare to say homeschooling isn’t working for you? Suddenly you’re “not doing it right” or you “just need to find your rhythm.” Screw that. Sometimes it’s not about rhythm. Sometimes it’s just bad. Can we PLEASE stop pretending homeschooling is the perfect answer for everyone? Because for a lot of people, it’s a ticking time bomb of burnout, anxiety, and academic guesswork.
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Yeah it’s great for some people. For others it’s everything you’ve listed. Then there is hiding child abuse category; the children aren’t learning anything when it comes to academics. Last but not least religious fanatics and control freaks who refuse to cut the umbilical cord. Ultimately I haven’t met homeschoolers who were well adjusted socially.
I’m a public school teacher, and I often feel like when parents choose to homeschool, they don’t think about the logistics of the entire process. It’s a lot of work. I went to school to be a teacher and genuinely love teaching, and I still get exhausted and worn down. Finding curriculum, creating curriculum, and making sure everything in the state standards is adequately covered while trying to make it all interesting is hard work. Plus, I can’t imagine teaching your own children is easy day in and day out.
Anecdotally, most homeschooling families I’ve personally met don’t actually homeschool. They just don’t school at all. The homeschooling parent gives up because it’s hard as hell, and they feel out of their depth or, in some cases, never intended to teach.
There is a middle ground. There are virtual charter schools that come with a teacher and curriculum choices and some 1:1 instruction from a certified teacher. But the parent is still responsible for doing their work with them and/or making sure they complete assignments.
I don’t think anyone actually believes homeschooling is perfect, but it can be a helluva lot better than public schools.
Also I don’t like your point about how homeschool turns a parent into teachers therapists and cafeteria staff… are those not all things a good parent should be? Good parents should be willing to talk with their kids about feelings or serious stuff, they should be able to teach their kids important stuff, and they definitely should be able to make (or at least buy) food for their kids.
Homeschool is usually done by the weakminded who aren’t very educated themselves. Usually religious as well. They want to control the information their child receive thus being very problematic.
I agree completely. Most parents that opt for it don’t realize everything they are taking on and more often then not, they get overwhelmed and sometimes even give up. Many states also don’t require home schooling parents to provide proof of meeting educational requirements. If a state doesn’t require it, parents won’t push to provide it. It most absolutely leaves children feeling isolated, socially inept and resentful for missed experiences, friendships, and educational opportunities like college.
The only cases where I can even begin to understand home schooling is if the child has an illness that prevents them from being around others, or if there was a severe case of bullying that put the child’s mental health at risk. Apart from those scenarios, I think it’s parents that think they can shield their kids from the outside world. It’s wishful thinking but all it does is leave the child unprepared, overwhelmed and resentful to said parents when they actually get out into the real world.
Seriously people, don’t do this to your kids.
I think there was a big shift in the effectiveness of homeschooling and the reality of the “community” when the trad-wife and unschooling movements really started taking off online. The majority of homeschooling content you see online and pushed through algorithms is framed as this really easy process where children either learn everything they need to know by sitting in a virtual charter school or homeschooling program for 3 hours a day or by learning through activity skill building, and it’s all sunshine and rainbows. The ones that are doing it properly aren’t showing the actual work that goes into it, making it appealing for people falling into the picture perfect social media life trap. The ones that are doing it poorly are masking it behind pseudo-science and intellectual dishonesty about what they’re doing.
Agree. I think the best is a hybrid system, which is common.
Homeschooling is something that belongs to the past, long dead times. How the hell are you supposed to support your kid and manage your work at the same time?
If it is necessary, like during COVID, OK. Otherwise, hell no. It is not good for anybody, and first and foremost, it is not good for the kids.
School is a scam for the most part, too. Teaching you how to be a rule follower and not think for yourself. If you don’t have abusive parents, you’re avoiding bullies which probably always exist in schools pre-18 years of age (not that everyone is affected by the bullies or in the same way tho). I’d say the only pro of public schools is the social life, which you can technically still work on by just doing sports and other group activities, but I don’t really think anything beats socializing in school. Just my opinion
We would have to be living in a post zombie apocalypse dystopia for me to consider home schooling. No thanks.
I can tell that OP and all the commenters have never had a child so badly failed by the school system that homeschool is the ONLY option.
Is homeschool a universally good fit for everybody? No. But with the right resources, help from actual teachers through virtual school or other means (ie daily/weekly tutoring or similar), it can be a HUGE help – especially to special needs kids whose accommodations are never met in a public classroom despite documentation REQUIRING it.
I feel like most parents who push for homeschooling would not be able to pass the general credits required to be a teacher.
I’m a public school teacher and will be homeschooling my kids- just a lot of stuff at school that I don’t want to subject my kids to at least during elementary. However, it will be either myself or a family member homeschooling them and we are both licensed teachers, so I feel comfortable in the abilities that we have to educate. Homeschooling can be beneficial to the ones who need more help or more challenge than a public school offers without the added cost of a private school- but it has to be done right and the kids need the same opportunities for engagement that public school kids have.
That isn’t what a scam is.
TLDR: I got to rambling lol
As someone that has grown up in the public school system, then raised kids through the recent school system (currently have one going into their senior year and still in public school. I just pulled my 5th grader and 7th grader from public school) I will admit schools have changed since “back in my day”. The amount of coddling certain kids get along with pushing other kids off to the side to get lost in the system, homeschooling has truly been amazing for us. Yes, the curriculum search is crazy, especially as someone that doesn’t care for the heavily religious aspect of most of them.
I think a lot of how exhausting it is stems from the kids themselves. Some kids are good at independent learning while others need the extra guidance. I, myself, have no patience but am blessed with kids who are pretty good at the independent learning aspect. I have one that does go to co-op “full-time” but it isn’t ran like a prison like most public schools are. He has freedom to run and play when he is done with his work. At public school, they would throw a packet of busy work at him and he would get in trouble for being done too quickly.
The teachers themselves are even getting frustrated with the public school system, at least in my area they are. They have no support. They are expected to cater to the specific few. They don’t have any monetary support, so special class things have to come out of pocket or come from the few parents that do participate and help alleviate costs. They aren’t allowed to discipline anymore, so our experience was the whole class would be punished for the select few that deserved punishment.
I don’t understand this “no breaks, no sick days mentality” that I have read many times throughout this forum though. One reason we left the public school system is because you would get in trouble for sending your kid sick or expected to take them to the doctor for every little sniffle or stomach ache.
I don’t believe it is ALL a scam and I’m not indoctrinated into the whole cult level of some of these homeschool things lol but the burnout level can be REAL! It just seems like there are a lot more of these groups that can get into that whole “crunchy mama greater than thou” mindset with all the “genius kids” that need 24/7 stimulation and college courses.
I definitely get the “not made for everyone thing” and that’s ok. Sorry this was so long. Our year long homeschool journey has been a long one I’m just now figuring things out. I feel definitely more prepared for next year.
Omg sorry this is so long, I got to rambling 🥴
Im someone who was homeschooled their entire life, and my parents themselves were homeschooled back when it was considered “weird”. I will say its definitely not easy and I think a lot of parents who are joining the homeschooling scene dont realize all that goes into it. yes there are homeschool communities and lots of different curriculums, I went to a homeschool co-op with a bunch of other homeschoolers and made lots of friends. But I kinda think a lot of these parents that are new to homeschooling just kinda think these curriculums and community will appear out if thin air when tou really need to find the right one for you, it takes a lot of searching.
also, not every kid is going to do well with homeschooling, im actually lucky in the sense that I know being homeschooled was WAY better for me than going to public school due to my ADHD, but other kids might do a lot better with public schools/private schools.
What i dont get is you have to pay the taxes anyway so…
My mom is an engineer with a master’s degree. She home schooled me and my sisters. We all thoroughly enjoyed it. I do know some folks who home schooled that 100% should not have. But for us, it was great.
As someone who homeschooled I agree. It is not for everyone or every child. I had a great, supportive community and my kids had lots of social interaction. We actually never planned to homeschool every year, and reevaluated what was best for each of our kids at the end of each school year. I loved almost all of it and have no regrets but it is not for everyone.
My hot take is that virtually no parent is qualified to homeschool a child
I did homeschooling for grades 8-12 (I’m 45 now) and I gotta say, I turned out pretty good – but it has taken me a whole to get here.
The curriculum my folks used was actually very structured and the courses were half and half, book learning and video taped lessons (VHS tapes, I’m old lol). It was through an accredited school, so my diploma was as valid as anyone else’s. I have since been through post secondary 3 times, no problems.
The good: 1) I was getting into trouble (drinking amd drugs) in public school, so when I was pulled out, I lost those friends (which was a good thing). 2) Peer pressure wasn’t really an issue for me. 3) I was never bullied. 4) had so much more free time, when other kids were tied to having to show up to school every day. 5) I had friends of all ages, because my socializing wasn’t centered around a classroom all the same age. I was socialized lol, just not at a school.
The bad: 1) I missed social milestones like dances and prom. (Not a big deal now, but for years I really felt like I missed out). 2) yes, my folks were part of an evangelical crowd and that definitely influenced my curriculum. Things like math and science were fine and up to code… other things like Bible courses took up a lot of time and filled my head with a bunch of useless garbage, that I had to un-learn later. 4) my mother was not a teacher and was very mentally ill. I happened to be a motivated kid, but she tried to sabotage me constantly. So, it totally depends on the parents.
I guess to sum up, there is good and bad to homeschooling. And there is also pros and cons to public schools. I definitely think there should be some sort of vetting of the parents though, with regular check ins. Both options can be great, for the right people. Different lives are neat!
I’ve seen a lot of talk over the past few years about how school age kids today are way behind in what they should know, like 6th graders not being able to read ect.
And, everyone is like why is this happening??
What do you even mean why is it happening? Maybe because for like 2 or more years depending on how long the parents kept the kids home during covid, they basically had no real education during that time.
Most kids, especially teenagers, did not even do the homeschooling properly. A lot of kids just kept the camera off and kept sleeping in the morning. Parents were busy or at work and did not closely monitor them.
Even the ones that did take it seriously, they had to do school for like 3 hours a day. How much could possibly be covered?
It was not at all a complete proper education. It kinda boggles the mind that the issue isn’t obvious.
Not to mention behavior at school is also said to be much worse than ever before. There’s also talk about Gen z having social issues. But whyyyy? People wonder. Well, maybe because they were socially isolated inside their homes for literally years.
My husband and 2 of his younger siblings were homeschooled.
My husband will be the first to say, homeschooling was the worst thing to happen to them.
Their mother didn’t teach them shit and they were the isolated “weird church homeschooled kids”
They all have learning disabilities that were never addressed, so now they’re adults trying to get help.
My nieces are homeschooled and they are thriving and doing great but it isn’t for everyone.
I can’t understand why people homeschool their kids in the US. Parents with 0 training and who knows how bad they were in school themselves decide to be teachers? How? Also, you still pay your taxes as if you were taking advantage of the public school system with an obvious under-qualified teacher that has no experience. In CA your kid also gets breakfast, snacks and lunch fed and it’s not even about saving $ but you save all the time to prepare, serve, and clean. I really don’t get the whole homeschooling thing. Does it even exist in other countries?
I have two friends who were homeschooled. Their parents are a former stock trader and flight attendant respectively, they also think they are the smartest people in the room. The father is retired and now sits around watching certain news channels and radio shows.
I have to admit, one of the kids, the older of the two, is incredibly book smart and a lawyer… she’s soft spoken and doesn’t force her intelligence on people. However, she has zero street smarts and is incredibly gullible.
The son however is neither book smart nor street smart but will tell you he is until the cows come home. He’ll also talk your ear off and just keep talking in circles just to hear himself talk and not let anyone else get a word in edgewise, he’s much like his mother in this regard. He is back in college now at 29 after dropping out after 1 year 10 years ago.
I think the children suffered greatly because of their homeschooling and are emotionally and socially stunted. Whenever I introduce them to people that haven’t met them I’ve had a few ask me why they seem a little off and when I tell people they were homeschooled the response is usually “I get it now”.
I’m thankful I was never homeschooled so I don’t have social anxiety and had friends at school. Sounds lonely when you’re struggling at school and the only person you have to talk about it is your teacher/parent who is very burnt out and nobody your own age.
Actually it’s what you make of it. My kid is unfortunately homeschooling at the moment. Its wasn’t out first choice by any means, but she discovered a few struggles in the past 2 years and her regular school absolutely shit all over her. So now she is homeschooled. She goes to co-op 2 days a week and loves it. She is catching up on her studies so fast.
That said it has come with struggles. My wife who helps at the co-op and teacher her is more stressed. It’s not her ideal life. We want to work back to a more normal school experience, but at the moment our family is doing OK and my daughter is thriving after a year and a half of school hell.
Like I said though, it’s what you make of it. It isn’t easy, it takes a lot of adjusting and a lot of tough decisions. If you just jump into it thinking it’s for everyone then you clearly missed the past 500 years of society where we have well established that normal(ish) schooling is the answer for many kids and a huge blessing of our society.
>It turns parents into underpaid teachers, therapists, and cafeteria staff all in one
shouldnt you be teaching, counseling, and feeding your kid(s) either way?
>Most kids aren’t thriving—they’re surviving. No social life. No breaks. No sick days. No magic “homeschool community” that everyone swears exists but somehow never shows up when you need it
how? this doesnt make any sense to me?
friend, i do not know what you are doing, but it definitely sounds like you are doing SOMETHING incorrectly. i have an 8yo niece who is currently being homeschooled on a farm in southern ohio and she has MORE the enough time to not only do her schoolwork, but also her farm chores, and prep for the county fair where she is showing rabbits with 4h (though in fairness, shes 8 so the classwork is probably less intensive)
my wife, her sister, and all of our friends were home schooled k-12 with homeschooling groups, co-ops, and a slew of other ‘community’ resources in SE MI. they even had homeschooling dances. their school day was the same as the public school. our friends also had farm chores to take care of, and animals to raise/butcher. heck some of our friends have sibs that are still doing it that way. for my wife and friends, this was all back in the early naughts when ‘just googling it’ wasnt an option.
maybe put in some more effort? i dont know friend, if my MIL could walk up to the local library in 2000 and figure this shit out without a computer…..i think you can too
Lol no sick days? No breaks? We got both those things, probably even more than public school kids. We got snow days when the schools in our district were shut down for weather, too. I agree that it’s a ton of work and not for everyone, but public school is also not for everyone.
I homeschooled K-12. I think it can be a positive thing for some families, but it really depends on who you are and how and why you’re doing it. There was a significant homeschooling community where I grew up, but they skewed heavily religious. I sometimes joined the group for classes and field trips, but even as a child I remember not feeling like I had much in common with the kids who had been heavily sheltered in religious communities. I always found my social groups through other extracurricular activities outside the homeschooling community.
For every child that benefits from homeschooling, there are about 9 other children that are suffering and falling behind.
I agree. I was homeschooled my entire life, never stepped foot in an actual school building. And it majorly fucked up my development. I ended up dropping out of the program entirely at about 15 because I gave up trying to understand anything and had no one to properly explain it to me. I had to do a state GED test to have any proof of education.
On top of the lack of actual education, I got no socializing with other kids my age aside from cousins. It’s taken a lot to understand how to get along with people now that I’m an adult.
The whole thing caused a lot of stress, and I still wonder how my life would’ve been different if I had gone to school instead.
My spouse was a college prof, and his take was that homeschooled kids were either his best or worst students. No middle ground.
You are right. It does not work for everyone.
We homeschool. We do co-ops. Next year we are going back to a drop off co-op because I need a break. We did true co-ops this year and it’s not working as well for me.
However, right now our best option is homeschool. We are taking each year as it comes.
That’s not true. Plenty of people are happy to admit it. It’s illegal to homeschool your children where I live.
Bro, I homeschool my son and it is SO HARD. If I didn’t feel like he’s truly learning SO MUCH more than he was at public school I’d quit asap.
He has gnarly ADHD and insomnia that we’ve been working on with psychologists, somnologists, and primary doctors for years, so public school was awful for him. I have my teaching degree, so I decided to pull him out and homeschool. I spend hours a week perfecting curriculum and activities. Drive him to events and sit with parents I have no interest in just so he has some social time. Try to keep him on schedule and make sure work is done daily.
Homeschooling is not for lazy people at all. It takes so much time and work. Plus, I wonder every day if I’m holding him back or doing him a disservice. He’s in 9th grade this year and was thinking about going to public high school, which his dad and I encouraged. He took the testing to see where he’d be placed and scored 11th grade in math and college level in reading comprehension, language skills, science, and history. He chose to stay homeschooled and will start dual enrollment junior year.
I feel super lucky that he’s done so well, but I wouldn’t tell most people to homeschool. I don’t believe most will have super positive results be it educationally or socially.
I feel like I’m one of the very few people that homeschooling worked really well for because I had several extenuating circumstances.
First, I’m autistic and grew up in the 90’s-00’s when autism awareness and acceptance weren’t a thing. I was bullied and excluded all thru my childhood so being alone was a relief to my mental health.
Second, I was sick from the time I was 14 to 21, so I missed a lot of school. Trying to attend school and make up all the work I’d missed while trying to cope with my illness was insurmountable and my grades quickly started to plummet.
Third, my mother was already a special education teacher. She decided to quit her job when I became ill as there were a lot of doctor visits and hospital stays involved. When it became obvious I couldn’t keep up with a traditional education format, I withdrew and she stepped up and took over homeschooling me. And she completely rocked it. We were able to flex the schedule around appointments and days I was feeling better. Sometimes that meant doing lessons at 10:00 PM, but we worked when I was able. I finished my Core 40 and college preparatory classes and graduated on time. College had to wait a bit but I graduated magna cum laude with a 3.8 GPA.
None of that would have been possible without homeschooling, but especially not without my father working hard to support us and my mother putting in her all to help me reach my education goals despite what life decided to throw at us.
As opposed to our great public school system? Ha.
It’s also how you brainwash a kid
I admit it. I have a PhD in teacher education, I don’t think I’m qualified to teach my son. I’ll never have a teacher student relationship. Kids should be in school.
I was a teacher in Québec. Here, home-schooled students have to do the end of year exams in the schools, where they were corrected by the teacher of that subject. So I, as an English – Second Language teacher, had to correct the ESL exams.
The results were dismal. Of the 35 or so such exams I corrected, not one of them passed. I always felt so sorry for those kids.
I live in Sweden and have always fount the whole thing with home schooling weird. We don’t have that here and I don’t know about any other country then the US? There’s probably more that I’m not aware of.
But how does it even work? Who has the responsibility to actually make sure that some kind of schooling is done even at home? Is there some kind of test or something? Does the person responsible for the teaching have to do some kind of test or get some license?
It’s a person to person basis I think. I was on a club swim team and home schooling allowed me to focus on that during times I definitely wouldn’t have been able too had I gone to public school. It was also online and I was able to call teachers and the curriculum was up to date because of it. My mom was a single mom so this was the best way for me to keep doing swim while still being educated.
I don’t know anyone who views homeschooling as this ‘beautiful, empowering alternative’. Everyone I know thinks it is a disservice to kids and is setting them up for struggle when they grow up.
I’m about to say something that I’ll be downvoted to hell: Everytime someone has told me they’re going to homeschool their kids, they’re usually hard right conservatives who don’t want their kid “brainwashed by the system” but they end up not doing Jack shit.
I knew a family from the country club I grew up at that homeschooling their 5 children. All lovely, wonderful manners, absolutely inept at socializing. I’ve known this family since befriended the girl 1 year older than me at around 4 or 5 years old. 3 of them went to Harvard on full ride, one of which was 16 when she graduated hs and the other 2 went to Cornell also on scholarships. While they’re exceptionally intelligent it seems to be all they have. My friend used to talk to me at length about how she always in every aspect felt like she was on out the outside. She never found a place to fit in. The oldest of the siblings is now over 40 and only 1 of them has ever had a romantic relationship and the one that did married the only person they ever dated.
What did parents do before schools were a thing?
I am a public school kid K-12, then public college.
One of the smartest dudes I know was home schooled until high school. He does have excited, slightly in-your-face social energy but everybody who spends more than 5 minutes talking to him loves him because he’s this really deep well of facts, interest, passion, etc. fascinating guy.
I know some other people that were home schooled who are absolute dolts, though.
Just depends on the home schooling. But then again, public schools have a lot of variance, too. What I learned in Illinois is markedly different than what some kids may have learned in Louisiana.
It was horrible for my step-kids. All 3 are nearing 30. Failing to launch, anxiety around people. 2 are unemployed. They did not learn anything
Who’s “we”? It’s rare here and regulated pretty rigorously. There’s distance education for kids who live 1000k from the nearest school. Homeschooling seems very popular and a readily-considered option in the US. I agree it seems very scammy but then the school system there sounds awful, not to mention dangerous. I can understand parents not wanting their kids put at risk.
i really think its person to person but i think theres a small minority that it works for/does it right. i have a friend who was home schooled she can speak nothing but good thing about it BUT her parents are academics (i cant remember exactly what they do) they got her tutors and some courses with other home schooled kids. they educated her themselves up to i think high school before adding tutors but always had stuff with other kids before too.
I had to basically save my own child from her mom’s nutty ideas of homeschooling.
I worked full time and let it slide during Covid, but that craziness had to stop. Her mom did no schooling at all, for her it was all a cultural exchange with other homeschooling moms. She loved organizing events with her circle, but my daughter got absolutely no school done at all. Had to put down my foot, get her in school and start two years behind all the other kids.
Landed me in divorce but I don’t regret it.
I do have to titter at some homeschool parents who loudly proclaim how “advanced” their children are….according to them ….without any objective comparison to base this assertion on….
No social life is the parents problem. Your kids will need clubs and sports to fix that. For kids that face extreme bullying it can still be better.
I can understand the appeal of homeschooling in a country with so many school shootings. It’s a very real and present threat. (I’m a Canadian so … safety situation is pretty different here.)
That said, religious indoctrination without any governmental oversight … and learning things with only 2 teachers for most of your adolescence … who likely have no educational qualifications … with only siblings for friends … and maybe no actual deadlines … there are a lot of factors that make it tough for kids to become thriving independent adults.
Social development is important for kids—friendships, learning to get along with different personality types, trying new things, fitting into an organizational structure, learning deadlines, conforming to a classroom attention span, finding out about future career options, and getting to meet people who are experts in a lot of different areas … School equips kids for the world in a lot of ways. And I think often homeschooling gives kids fewer tools in their toolboxes. Parents have to be reaaaaaally conscientious to manage education effectively and to give their kids opportunities to socialize and cultivate new-to-them skills.
I was homeschooled in the 1980’s and early 90’s, I started public school in 7th grade in 1992. My parents were not abusive or religious freaks, they just didn’t like the public school system of the city we lived in. They gave me a good academic background centered around the fact that I love to read, and took us to any kind of museums or science centers that we could afford (which were not many). I routinely finished in the 95th percentile or higher on standardized state tests, and there was a very small but supportive network of other homeschooling parents. And when I started public school I hated it, I wanted to go back. My home was a safe place, and the two years in junior high were absolutely miserable with almost daily bullying because of our socioeconomic status. It took moving to a new district before I felt any comfort being in a public school. I excelled academically though and eventually went on to get a Master’s degree. I consider my experience as a positive example of homeschooling because my parents made a genuine effort to give an academically sound education while also letting me be a kid. On the flip side, one of my younger cousins was homeschooled by an aunt and uncle who couldn’t teach the curriculum and had no inclination to try very hard. She “graduated” while being barely literate. I would use her as an example of why homeschooling doesn’t work.
Those who I met that homeschooled and did outside sports/activities definitely flourished, those who did not had some trouble adjusting at first
It’s not a scam. It’s a lot of work if it is done right. It’s not for everyone. It’s okay if you can’t do it
Homeschooling is just an excuse for weird conservatives to indoctrinate their children without any form of pushback
I was homeschooled from 2nd grade to the bitter end and I do not rcommend
I have a relative who is going to homeschool her child with the help of her mother, who is a retired elementary school teacher. From what I gather their issue with public schools is the behavior of the other children. I have hopes this will work given the child will have basically a full time teacher.
I was homeschooled. It sucks. Most homeschooling parents don’t do it for good reasons. You’ll see the most insane, conspiracy theory addled weirdos who homeschooled their kids because they’re scared their kid won’t think the earth is flat anymore, or that they’ll be prosecuted for their child abuse (because abuse is rampant in homeschooling communities)
I do think homeschooling can be done correctly, but only under circumstances that require it, like a child being ill. It shouldn’t be done by any old person at all
But how else are you going tn brainwash your children without isolating taem fro society and carefully controlling every idea that enters their head?
I’m sorry you had such bad parents.
Homeschool is definitely not for everyone. I’m a sahm and I was close to deciding to do so but I just couldn’t make that leap to being my kids educator and mom (and my background is in education/psychology!) I’m thankful we have a school near us that checked a lot of boxes for me as a parent and my kids are thriving. As much as there are things about traditional school that irk me, I do not regret my decision.
But to say “homeschooling is a complete scam” is wild. A lot of people thrive here, even if you weren’t successful.
Yeah homeschooling isn’t for everyone. We’re not religious and I’m not cut out to be a teacher.
I thought that our daughter with AuDHD would be fine attending public school. I mean I managed (also AuDHD). So, why would she have any issues, right? However after 4 years (including 1 year of preschool and kindergarten) she was struggling so much in public school, even with her IEP, and being held back a year. They wanted to hold her back another year.
So, we enrolled her in a STEM oriented online school. She is doing so much better with her grades than she did when in public school. She works at her own pace and has not only caught back up but is currently a full school year ahead of where she would be if she hadn’t been held back.
It’s very very much not for every parent
Unfortunately, “home schooling” is only being promoted as an alternative to public schools; while in reality, its simply being used to brainwash children to be religious extremest.
As somebody with autism and really bad adhd, homeschooling really helped me. The only con is not being around people your age, it gets lonely but it’s better than stressing my ass off in public school not being able to sit still or do anything that’s required of me
My husband’s aunt homeschools his cousin who is currently 13. He is really well adjusted and attends a couple different weekly group activities with other kids who are and are not homeschooled. They have been fortunate enough to afford traveling and doing all different kinds of “field trips” that aid in his education. He was also able to play sports and played football last year. He also attends different camps that expose him to other kids and things that my kids who do go to school wish they had the time to go to.
Then there’s my sister who lives in a city area and has always homeschooled her kids. They aren’t as well off but her kids do get a good education and are able to play sports. They do not have a social life for the most part and most of their learning is done online.
There are a lot of factors that contribute to the homeschooling experience that makes it good or bad.
Look, all I’m saying is that I know when someone has been homeschooled pretty much the instant I meet them.
Not to mention the parents get to pick and choose the curriculum and do not have access to a lot of the programs that schools do, nor any connections to facilitate career aspirations down the line.
I would have loved to take gymnastics, dance, theater, art class, and so much more; instead, I had a very bare-bones curriculum spoonfed to me through pre-approved, Bible-heavy programs. I didn’t get to enjoy any extracurricular activities, hang out at clubs, or try out new classes.
I missed out on road trips, museum tours, class parties, and more. And now that I’ve gotten away from my parents and the small town I grew up in, I have no connections at all. Nobody to help me get a leg up in any kind of business. I have to struggle on my own and hope what I’m doing is good enough to survive.
I so wish I could’ve been put in a proper school and experienced more of the world than the farm I grew up on. I wish I had friends. I wish I didn’t need to move across the country in the middle of the night just to reclaim my independence.
My kneejerk reaction is to defend homeschooling, but you’re right.
I was homeschooled from Preschool to high school. The only time I set foot in a normal school was for the PSAT and SAT, and I did go to college. I’d imagine that if done correctly, homeschooling can be excellent, but mine wasn’t. My curriculum was, like you said, outdated and highly religious; I wasn’t taught about evolution, and I had no idea what a function was in math. A CORE CONCEPT IN MATH wasn’t taught to me until college.
I had been part of a homeschool group that did co-op classes and field trips. My mom ran a girls’ club…until she couldn’t play nicely with the other moms and left the group, taking me with her. I was isolated from my friends, and my mom poisoned what friendships I had so I thought the girls were mean to me and withdrew from them.
I had no summer breaks. I had a month off each year and did school 6.5 days a week (a small break on Sundays). Holidays were school days. My school day went from 1PM to 2AM, and I was either in my room watching prerecorded classes from a religious school or downstairs at the kitchen table crying while my mom threw quizzes at me that I wasn’t prepared for and yelling at me to stop crying.
I got to college so socially awkward and only knowing school. I did my schoolwork and nothing else. No time for clubs, no time for friends, no time for parties, events, or games. The only time I had other than school was for my first (and subsequently sexually abusive) relationship.
I’m working on reconnecting with my former homeschool friends, who seem to be nicely adjusted individuals, probably because they weren’t isolated like I was and used a different curriculum.
Edit: That was longer than I intended. Thank you for the opportunity to vent my frustrations with my schooling.
I think calling homeschooling a complete scam is a bit of an overstatement. Is it the perfect solution for everyone? No, of course not. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all solution to education, for a very simple reason: people learn in different ways.
That’s one of the major reasons our current education systems fails – it caters to the least common denominator which kills innovation and creativity. Additionally, it’s geared strictly towards people that primarily learn auditorily or by reading/writing; leaving kinesthetic and visual learners behind.
Again, home schooling isn’t for everyone, but for some, it is a saving grace by allowing the student (kid) to have their lessons tailored to their own learning style. But you are right – that puts a lot of pressure on the parents. Many of whom are not capable of that time and effort commitment.
We have seen homeschooling disasters among several families. It really is sad. We had a baby sitter who had 6 sisters. Every one of them was homeschooled. She was heartbroken when the local community college would not admit her directly. She had to take 5-10 remedial classes to be admitted.
My wife worked for an elementary school a few years back and when parents finally realized the errors of their ways and enrolled them into a public school, the kids had to be evaluated to determine which grade they were capable of. This included a meeting with a child psychologist to determine social and mental skills as well as a series of tests. It didn’t matter what the parents said about little Johnny.
Every, single time this was done the child was at least one year behind their peers. Most were two years. Many of these were part of homeschooling co-ops, so supposedly a better method.
If you have the energy to homeschool, volunteer at your kids school. You can you help teachers and kids.
My ex husband’s family homeschooled all 10 of their kids, until mom got tired of dealing with kids 24/7, and sent them to “godless” public school when the youngest were old enough for kindergarten (and my ex, the oldest, was 22). I never saw them “do school” even once, even when my ex and I lived with them for a couple years. I remember MIL saying, “you have to do some school today”, but the kids would whine and weasel their way out of it. They could read, but not well, and had a tenuous grasp of simple addition and subtraction.
What did they know? That the older female children were in charge of the infants/toddlers, doing laundry, and cleaning bathrooms. My ex and his oldest brother were in charge of cooking meals (and they were both excellent cooks, both having worked in a relative’s restaurant from their early teens).
Unless things have changed since the early 00s, homeschooled kids don’t earn a high school diploma, so they aren’t able to enroll in college unless they pass the GED. They get a certificate of completion, which is awarded so long as mom fills out the paperwork to give them passing grades in all subjects. No oversight or regulation, just mom saying they got straight As in all subjects. And no college accepts this as a diploma. (I worked in the admissions office at my college as a federal work study, and we dealt with this multiple times daily.)
And I have no pity for the parents – they chose this for their children and themselves in the face of freely available public education. Even if it sucks, it’s still better than what can be taught by mommy and or daddy, unless mommy and/or daddy have college degrees and don’t work.
Homeschooling should be illegal except in cases of extreme medical barriers. Even then, it needs to be regulated as hell
It’s not a perfect answer. It worked for me.
I had a decent social circle, traveled a lot and did decently well academically (I finished my SATS in 8th grade)
If I could do things differently I would have learned more about coding and social media before I went to college
It’s true though that you always feel slightly behind on the trending phrases and lingo
Nah, you’re doing it wrong.
There are homeschooling programs that are completely online and all the coursework materials are provided upfront to the parents. The videos are taped inside a live classroom so the homeschooled student feels like it’s real school. The program I completed was called A Beka Academy. All the parents have to do is simply administer the test/quizzes and send certain assignments in to the program as proof the child is completing them.
I went to public school for elementary school, then I went to a private Christian school for 6-9th grade, and then my parents pulled me out to homeschool 10-12th grade. I was so efficient in the program that I did my entire junior year over the summer, and graduated high school at 16.
And, contrary to popular belief, I did not disappoint in college. I went to a 4-college, got a bachelors degree with a 4.0 GPA. and then I went to professional school to get my Doctorate in Pharmacy. I had plenty of friends, a thriving social life too. Your kid won’t become ostracized or lack social skills from homeschooling, as long as the parents allow.
Homeschooling teaches a kid how to manage their time effectively (I was responsible for my own daily schedule and completing all assignments. My parents didn’t even make me an agenda..) and how to think critically. It forces them to think outside the box and learn self-discipline. This skill is particularly useful in every aspect of life, not just in education. Self-discipline isn’t being enforced in public schools and it’s why your children are falling behind and lacking basic math, reading, and writing skills. Your public schools are teaching kids to parrot back information,but homeschooling taught me how to learn ideas and how to apply concepts to real-world scenarios.
My parents took a hands-off approach to my education, once they realized I didn’t need to be coddled to do my work. But I wouldn’t recommend homeschooling alone to a child with special needs or learning disabilities.
I never understand that how a parent can outperform a group of teachers who each specialised in different subjects?
Yet another slopfuck AI post that people are flocking to in hoards. Holy shit boys, it’s almost over
I will literally admit it forEVER. It’s horrific that a 9th grade high school drop out can “educate” somebody beyond the 6th grade understanding that they ACTUALLY have.
Those kids are so sheltered, taught that “Jesus is king”, cannot read beyond a second grade level, and are doing very, very poorly; it makes me sick and sad that this is still acceptable in the USA. So many of these parents and “teachers” haven’t passed any kind of anything. I don’t have stats but I know this to be 10000% true in my own wide circle and situation.
I think this is very dependent on where you are located. Where I’m at there’s a community with a bunch of kids that get together for barbecues and study groups and such. They also have a shared library and resources. The kids have friends and appear to be thriving.
The negatives for me are no checks and balances on the students who are homeschooled. In an abusive household, homeschooling is probably best for those families because nobody is watching their children and noticing signs of abuse. There are no trusted adults for those kids lives for them to turn to. There are parents who can barely tie their own shoes who should not be teaching. There are parents who have no clue about how to formulate a structured day to set their kid up for success.
The positives for me are that homeschooling can provide a more tailored education for accelerated (gifted) learners who do not have robust school programs at their local school. This is depending on the quality of the parent or homeschool teacher so while it is a plus it can also be a negative. There are great homeschool physical education programs in my state where homeschooled kids can go do something like rollerskating, etc with other homeschooled kids. These kids are also allowed to join the regular school teams for organized sports.
I look at it as a case by case situation. A friend homeschooled his four daughters because they were all gifted kids and their own school simply did not have the resources or programs in place to challenge his children. He has a higher degree as does his wife so they were able to work within their strengths to come up with a plan. All four of his kids have gotten full ride college scholarships and have done remarkably well. His is a case for homeschooling done right. In the same respect I worked with a boy on reading and comprehension after his parents put him back into public school. He was quite a bit behind his peers and took a little bit of time to catch up. This is a case for homeschooling done right failure.
I disagree. I think it depends on specific situations. I would have greatly benefited from homeschooling. I was bullied heinously, mentally, emotionally, and physically, due to my disabilities. A few friends in college benefitted from it, too. Of course it’s most definitely not good for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad for everyone, either.
Some parents are exceptional at homeschooling and raise amazing kids. Most are not – it’s just a matter of statistics. Their aren’t many amazing teachers who are parents who understand education as a practice. Or who knows when to tap out to good curriculum or to involve students in a community.
When you tell statically average people they are geniuses or have some moral high ground they do terrible abusive things to children, their average children who will now be below average and behind in living skills the rest of their life.
My mom still thinks she’s some hero for homeschooling us and brags that we aced all our subjects constantly. Like, yeah, you graded us. I learned bare minimum, and embarrassed myself when I finally went to public school in grade 8 through highschool. I barely passed my classes, I was awkward as hell and tried way too hard to fit in that I was just always getting myself in trouble. Rather than going to college, I moved out of my parent’s house at 18, washing dishes at a restaurant and splitting rent with the most annoying kid from my school who also moved out at 18. I’m doing well today not because of anything my mom wants to take credit for, but in spite of all of that. Man, fuck homeschooling.
I went to school in London. And then I moved to America and finished my last 2 years of high school here. It was a culture shock to say the least.
My son, who is American born and raised, is homeschooled, since 10th grade. Not because I wanted that, but because the bullying was awful. And I’m scared of gun violence.
Am I a religious freak? No. I’m an Engineer. And a single mother. I’m just doing what I think is best for us right now.
We have an active homeschool group in my town and they’re very active and collaborative. The kids all seem very smart.
My goofy uncle was “homeschooling” his son back in the ’90s because, of course, the public school system couldn’t be trusted. I think I last saw the kid when he was about 8, and he could barely read. Don’t know if he ever caught up or not.
I don’t know a lot of home schooled kids, but of the few I know, I don’t think they will be as successful as most of the other kids I know that are in school. I wouldn’t say it’s as much smarts as it is lack of social understanding and understanding that it’s not all about you.
Online school is okay but homeschool no way
For 99.9% kids, I agree. But there are outliers everywhere. When that one genius comes along, better off not letting them getting slowed down by the pack. If you’re worried bout socializing, can always put them in a sports club and let them socialize with kids their own age. Also, not sure why you think it’s just parents teaching. It should be mostly extremely qualified private tutors.
I won’t homeschool my kids unless my kid is Einstein level genius, and I am loaded to the point my wife or I can monitor kid’s progress, while making sure they have friends to socialize with, eats healthy and everything is well balanced. Again, this is only if my kid is such a fucking genius and if I am loaded as hell.
I mean imagine watching kids your age struggle with solving basic linear equations when you are taking grad level courses at 12 and learning about schemes or number fields. How would that be any fun at all? But again, this is only if the kid is a fuckin genius.
Always has been.
I did not develop well socially in public school, and would have benefitted from homeschooling and socializing in clubs where kids had similar interests to me. Homeschooling can be hella problematic, sure, but I wouldn’t call it a complete scam. Public school has plenty of scammy aspects as well.
I’ve recently run into people who “homeschool” so they can take their kids to sports competitions all over the country and travel places to train.
One family has kids close in age to mine. Their oldest kid is about 2 years behind where they should be, and their youngest kid is finishing K but still working on identifying all the letters.
So… there’s that.
I’ve only seen it work one time and that’s because the mom was a teacher so she knew what she was doing when she homeschooled her kids. She also was part of a lot of homeschool groups that did field trips together and had music, gym, and art classes together every week.
I homeschooled my 3 kids up to grade 2nd and 3rd (would have put them in regular school earlier, but covid hit).
What everyone I have talked to who wanted to homeschool their kids fail to realize is it is a whole ass fucking job!
I had a whole room dedicated just for them doing their school work. Storage for alllll the shit you need is insane. And it’s not just covering the basics like math and reading. You have to have arts and crafts, fun projects like scavenger hunts for local flora, and fauna at your local park.
Finding educational places for field trips. Reaching out to people in your area that also homeschool for meetups so the kids can play together. Lesson planning (thank God for the teacherspayteachers website, or I’d be completely screwed on that part).
I love my kids more than my life, but goddamn, at the end of the week I would just want to run screaming from them sometimes because I felt like every single moment I was a teacher and stopped being able to be just mom. I know that sounds nuts, but it’s what it felt like.
My kids started public school and they all skipped forward one grade from where they were supposed to be because they were all advanced. I wasn’t a slave driver, they just really loved learning, and i guess I made it fun so they really enjoyed their lessons.
There were zero checks on how my kids were doing from our “umbrella school”. You just go to their site and put in whatever bullshit you want. A’s all across everything and no one would know. No proof of anything needed. As long as you paid their yearly fee they didn’t gaf.
It actually blew my mind how little proof of anything they needed!
Sorry for the rant. I’m just not a big fan of Homeschooling because of how easily it can be abused and how little people realize how much work it is for the parent as well as the child. God bless teachers! They are saints.
We homeschooled for 3 years since Covid. We loved it at first and still has great advantages. We travel often. We go on long vacations our schedule is free.
The downside is everything you said. We are switching back over to regular school in fall. I think it will be best.
It has its place but kids need structure and if we can’t give them that life can’t always be a vacation for them.
Both has advantages and disadvantages. So we see where we go from here
I was homeschooled. It has it’s perks but I’m not so sure they out weigh all the negatives. Pro, adult reading level at like, 8ish, close family at the time. Con, everything mentioned plus a tough transition into being social in college. However I am in a social business now so it all worked out. 🤷♂️
I was on an online home school/some cyber charter school and I didn’t do shit but go on MySpace or YouTube lmao it only lasted like 3 months cause I wasn’t going to the classes or doing the work lol
Homeschooling is not the right choice for every family, just as a traditional brick-and-mortar school setting may not suit every student. Homeschooling requires a significant level of commitment, preparation, and capability from the parents. If parents choose to homeschool but lack a solid understanding of the subjects they intend to teach, are unfamiliar with how to create an up-to-date and effective curriculum, or are unable to afford supplemental resources such as extracurricular programs and tutors, then they may be setting their children up for failure.
Moreover, if the parents themselves are not social or actively engaged in community activities, it becomes even more difficult for their children to develop essential social skills. Children often model the behaviors and habits of their parents, so if parents are not making an effort to provide educational structure, social opportunities, and overall developmental support, no one else will step in to do it for them.
Ultimately, homeschooling is a serious responsibility. It demands dedication, time, and a proactive approach to both academic instruction and social development. If a parent is not fully prepared to take on this level of involvement and commitment, then the best and most responsible decision is simply not to pursue homeschooling. Doing so without readiness can lead to negative consequences for the child’s education and overall well-being.
I think it can work but the vast majority of parents arent equipped for what is several jobs on top of raising a kid as is.
It attracts a lot of well intentioned and less so well intentioned parents, but even with good intention that alone isnt enough.
I was one of those kids that homeschooling worked for me and actually was probably better for me than going to school. I like to think that I turned out fairly intelligent. I know a lot and am capable of retaining a lot of information because I had practice at obtaining information to use in the real world, not retaining information to be regurgitated for a test.
However, I am one person. Not everyone is like me and not everyone can learn the way I did. Just because it can work for some kids does not mean that it should be thrown around willy-nilly. Imo, a parent should not be allowed to make that decision without feedback and testing from their school district.
Also, homeschooling can be dangerous. I was never physically abused but I was absolutely emotionally and verbally abused. If I hadn’t had other family to fall back on, I don’t think I would be here typing this comment. Kids being kept from society can put them in danger of harsh treatment from their parents. Especially since a lot of these homeschooling wackjobs are of the religious persuasion who love putting their hands on their kids.
I was homeschooled for four years, 5th through 8th grade. I barely learned anything except that it was laughably easy to cheat those quizzes and tests and workbooks, and, even worse, my already shit social skills foundered and I went to high school a complete and total wreck. It’s a fucking miracle that I was able to recover some of that as an adult and actually have friends and a fiancee now.
The abuse at the hands of my mother in particular also did not get better when I had more exposure to her. Go figure.
Homeschooling is an also a scary option for people who won’t vaccinate their kids. Kids can’t go to public school without basic childhood vaccinations. I cut ties with an old friend who barely graduated high school who was ‘homeschooling’ her two kids due to her antivax beliefs. Both kids have severe, debilitating learning disorders and have no access to the resources public school provides. This same person tried to treat symptoms of what was ultimately a 12 INCH kidney tumor with vinegar and other naturopathic things for years and then had the audacity to be upset the pro bono hospital sent a small bill for lab work. That’s right, they have no insurance, not even Medicaid, because the parents are too stupid to obtain it.
Im an adult with learning disorders related to adverse childhood experiences. If it weren’t for public school and the resources devoted to my learning, I can’t imagine how I would have ended up.