I’m honestly so exhausted and frustrated. My eyesight has been bad for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been begging my parents for glasses since I was a kid. They always refuse, saying it’s my fault for “watching too much YouTube,” even though both of them have bad eyesight too. It’s clearly genetic, but they just don’t care.
Now, I’m stuck with a lazy eye that keeps getting worse. I can’t see the board in class, but I’m still getting good grades (90-100%) because I’ve had to teach myself everything at home. I literally can’t participate in class because I can’t see anything, and it’s getting worse by the day. My eyes twitch constantly, and I feel like I’m just heading toward losing my sight altogether.
On top of that, I’ve been bullied and rejected for my lazy eye, which has made me feel so insecure about it. It’s exhausting trying to hide it and not talk about it, but I’m getting to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve asked for help for years, but no one listens.
I just need to vent. I don’t know how much longer I can keep dealing with this
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Do you have someone at your school that you could tell? I’m not 100% sure, but it may help. Especially if you have a lazy eye I mean that has nothing to do with YouTube that’s crazy.
Where do you live? If you live somewhere with a healthcare system that funds these appointments, I’d just make an appointment to see a doctor or with an optometrist.
Has the school every reached out to your parents about you needing glasses?
Check if there is an optometry school you can mass transit to. They will have a charity clinic
You could get your insurance card, make the appointment and hitch a ride? I feel like we can creative solution our way out of this. What state do you live in?
I have a lazy eye it’s not visibly in the wrong spot unless you really look and it’s weak. I have to have prisms in my glasses cause I cannot focus. If I take my glasses off it’s all blurry. Not having glasses just makes the lazy eye weaker. It won’t get better. It has nothing to do with screens at all. Everyone in my family wears glasses for one reason or another. It can cause problems not getting glasses when you need them. I’m sorry you’ve tried everything I can suggest though. Telling another adult is a big one but that didn’t give you help.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😢
neglect of your medical needs is a different flavor of emotional pain… not only are you dealing with a medical issue that needs attention, the experience of being dismissed and blamed for that issue adds a layer of betrayal and hurt to the situation.
I hear you, how frustrated, hurt, and helpless you feel in this situation. You’re working harder than you should have to, still maintaining good grades even while having to put in extra work because you can’t see.
You deserve better, kiddo. I’m sorry you’re not getting it right now. I hope you get medical attention for your eyes soon. You deserve it and you didn’t do anything to create this issue. Even if you had, you’d still deserve medical attention. But you didn’t. Your parents are ludicrous for blaming you, and I know you know this.
Much love to you from someone in their late 20’s who went through similar. Once you’re free from that kind of control, you can forge the life you want. It gets better, okay 🫂
You can walk into any walmart with an optometry center and get an eye test and cheap glasses for less than $200.
I know that’s not nothing as far as cost goes, but if your parents are going to be so callous, this might be your best bet if you can save some money.
Where are you? In the UK children get free eye tests and a £50 voucher for glasses
Talk to your teachers about this and perhaps school counsellor, they may be able to help. This is something you parents could potentially get in trouble for as well.
You don’t deserve to live like this, if it goes on you won’t be able to drive or get a job then how will you get your own? Their hand needs to be forced it sounds like
Do you have a way to earn pocket money? Costco has affordable eye appointments and glasses. Walmart does, too.
Your parents should be taking care of this, but you can, too
Are you a minor? I’m pretty sure denying you healthcare is abuse and cps should be involved. You can call cps yourself and ask them for help.
Try a school nurse. If not available at your next “sick” appointment at the doctor’s, you might be suffering from headaches everyday right after getting to school and reading…
You can buy super cheep glasses online if you know your prescription try some online tools to try and figure what it issl. I look it up and found one called Zeiss but I am sure there are more tools out there.
Are you in the U.S.? If so, which state are you in? Some states consider medical neglect to be actionable. You may have recourse here.
If you’re in the US, some states allow minors of a certain age to consent to stuff like eye exams.
If you can get ahold of your insurance card from a parent, you may be able to get them on your own.
Do you have any older relative or family that you can ask for help?
Keep working on asking your school if they can help. It seems odd that there is nothing they can do.
Lastly, if you are able to save some money up, depending where you live, you may be able to get an eye exam and glasses by trying a “walk-in” clinic (like Walmart, as some people suggested, America’s best, LensCrafters, etc). Here, it can be between $100- $150.
This is actually a form of neglect in many parts of the US! Talk to someone at your school, and if that doesn’t work, speak to someone with CPS. They will ensure that you’re getting the proper medical care that you need
If you’re young, use the patch on the good eye. It will help strengthen your bad eye muscles.
Talk to a doctor.
Lenscrafters will give you an exam for $75 to $150 and then ask for the prescription with pupillary distance. You use that info to buy glasses online for $20 via zenni optical or other low cost options. I’ve used them and they are legit.
You can also make an appointment to see your primary care doctor and ask for a referral to an eye doctor.
Is this in the U.S., because teachers are mandated reporters, aren’t they? Don’t they HAVE TO report child neglect?
When I was younger my teacher had a talk with my mom after school BC she I was falling behind in math and she thought I needed a tutor. Actually I just needed glasses. I feel like if it becomes and issue at school and have it documented that would help your case. Is there anyway you could get an eye test and get glasses from online? My friends get theirs for really cheap
If you are close to a community health center, reach out to them. These are safety net providers and have access to grant funding that you might qualify for.
Go to the school nurse and get the school admin involved. Don’t fall through the cracks. Say that you cannot read anything while in school. Spending all the unnecessary time at home to teach yourself is unfair to you as a kid and covering up your parents’ neglect. Tell the school the truth over and over again. They are required to document that you are not able to see/read without the assistance of devices at school. The legal documentation will put pressure on your parents to stop neglecting you out of ignorance.
Dude this isn’t a solve but start wearing a patch on your good eye! It’s work you have to put in. It will imo help a lot. It did for me. I have worn glasses since I was 2. As a teenager they got broke and not replaced. I was 15. No way! I had one eye looking at the other one you know? I trained my eye! It’s not perfect and eventually I did get glasses again. Many years later. Get in front of the mirror without glasses and start training it to be stronger. I also used to use my hair to cover (in my face) my good eye so I was forced to use the bad eye. I promise it will not hurt to put some time trying. Keep at it please 🙏🏼.
This may be a case of legitimate criminal neglect… you should call child protective services. They’re denying you life altering medical treatment!!!!
I’m sorry. That sucks. My vision started going bad around middle school but didn’t get bad enough to the point where I couldn’t see the board until high school. I couldn’t see the board/projector and some classes that didn’t have assigned seating I was able to get a closer seat. Some classes had assigned seating. Some teachers let me change seats when I told them I can’t see the board. Others told me I’d need a doctors note.
The ONLY reason my mom finally took me to the eye doctor when I was 15 was because I failed the vision portion of drivers Ed. My parents were told I was not allowed to complete the driving portion until I saw a doctor and got glasses.
My sister had bifocals since she was a toddler. She is older. My mom didn’t want me to have glasses like my sister. My mom is Asian and very vain about her kids’ appearance. Although she was way more critical of mine compared to my sister or brother. My sister was also very over weight and had no friends. She was very shy and introverted. I was the opposite. I was also athletic and did dance, color guard and went running with my dad most days of the week.
She didn’t want me to have glasses because it would make me “ugly”. And her Asian friends had daughters with no glasses.
But me not driving would be a huge inconvenience for both of my parents. They wanted me to get my permit and eventually my license. So ultimately I did get them. But my mom forbade me from wearing them UNLESS I was driving. She didn’t even want me wearing them to school. I had to sneak them to school. I nearly got my ass beat when I got caught wearing them at home.
After that I was forced to switch to contacts. My mom was so awful when I was a teenager. She once grounded me for not reapplying my lipstick after we ate lunch at the mall. She also like to tell me I’m fat and would get fatter. Couldn’t have mayo on any sandwich or burger. I was 5’5 and up until my junior year I weighed less than 100 pounds. During spring break we went on vacation to an amusement park and she brought our scale. I cried when I saw I was over 100 pounds for the first time.
And as an adult I saw pictures of me back then and I can’t believe I ever thought I was fat. I was even more pissed when my mom admitted she thought I was skinny and only told me I was fat so I wouldn’t gain weight and be fat like my sister.
Tell your school nurse they will probably report it , if they do not call CPS yourself this is child neglect
Talk to your school counselor this is medical neglect and should be reported to CPS
If your parents have vision ins at work, they prob get a free pair at least every 2 years. Maybe if you researched their policy to confirm they would agree? I hope you get what you need. From someone who had a shitty Dad, just know that it gets better when you leave at 18. Try to get into college if you can and that will help. That or just move out as soon as you turn 18. He can’t run your life forever.
The Lion’s Club can help provide glasses to people who have no money for them. Worth asking.
My mom refused to get me glasses until I was in middle school. My father, who had terrible eyesight told her I needed glasses. My godfather told her I needed glasses. Literally, all types of relatives told me I needed glasses. Her default response was, “Every organ and tissue in relentless_fuckery’s body performs in the perfection in which God created it to function.”
It wasn’t until my 6th grade English teacher sent a note home saying, “Please get relentless_fuckery’s eyes checked. She has to be 2 inches from the board to see written instructions,” that she relented. And I needed glasses. My mother never needed glasses, nor did my brother so she assumed I’d never need them either. I guess my father didn’t count.
Sorry you’re going through that OP! Ask a teacher to send a note home. Maybe that could help.
I work at an eyeglass store, and if a kid came in and told me this story, I would do anything in my power to help them get glasses. In the province I live in, eye exams are free. Maybe it’s the same case for you? I would call somewhere, book an exam and plead my case. It couldn’t hurt to try.
This charitable organization is a conduit for recycling eyeglasses.
https://www.lionsclubs.org/en/resources-for-members/resource-center/recycle-eyeglasses
The next time you’re at the doctor, for any reason, tell them about your bad eyesight and that you think you need glasses and haven’t seen anyone for your lazy eye.
Even say it right in front of your parents one of them comes to your appointment with you.
The doctor will most likely refer you to see an eye doctor and what are your parents gonna say to them? No, don’t make my kid that appointment, we are choosing to ignore their bad eyesight?
Wear a patch on your dormant eye for few hours daily and it may help your lazy eye learn how to focus.
However, I’d say look into confiding in your teachers about your eyesight and what to do about that because it sounds like you may start failing if it doesn’t get fixed soon. I’m sorry.
This is going to sound silly but go onto Facebook and post what you wrote here. Word will get around town and hopefully your parents will feel enough shame and get you some glasses. If not are there any relatives that can help?
Do you have a Dollar Tree nearby? They usually have some $1.25 reading glasses. Maybe you cans tart there. Or ask your teachers if they have an extra pair of reading glasses that you can use. It will at least help for the time being. And most teachers wouldn’t mind grabbing you a pair.
Start dropping things when doing chores. Break stuff plates and cups. Leave things on the floor. If they force you to sweep up, do a terrible job. Spill in the kitchen and don’t clean up. You didn’t see it after all, how do you know where to clean?
I would never recommend this tactic ever in life but…. They seem like dicks
Call CPS on your parents anonymously and ask them to meet you at the school. This is medical neglect. And no matter what happens at least you’ll be taken care of.
Pop in to your local Chemist and see if any of the magnifying glasses help. Worth a try.
Do you have an assigned guidance counselor? Or even just a teacher you can talk to? Your parents are neglecting you. On purpose. Any person who is assigned care to a minor (from teachers to nannies etc) is a mandated reporter and is obligated to report them to the state. And I’m sure they can steer you in the right direction to obtain a pair of affordable glasses.
Can you buy some inexpensive pharmacy or service station glasses? We have these everywhere in Australia. I know you need an optometrist and professional care, but until you get that, maybe a pair of these glasses will help?
Call child protective services.
This is abuse/neglect and needs to be reported.
Call child protective services and find out what options they can offer for teens who want to get emancipation so that they can get medical care. Maybe a push from a social worker threatening to bring charges for medical neglect will change their minds. Tell them how many years they have been denying you access to appropriate medical care. Good luck in getting your vision fixed and that lazy eye fixed.
Youth Worker in child protection here.
Convention of the Rights of a Child
Child friendly simplified Child Rights
Do you have grandparents you could tell about this that you trust? Aunts? Uncles? Shame can be a powerful motivator. Otherwise, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, as they say. Start being loud about it. Complain to friends, teachers, other parents. Tell them you can’t see the board. You’re worried you won’t ever get your drivers liscense if you can’t see. Your eyes hurt all the time, you get constant headaches. All because your parents don’t want to get you tested for glasses. Be loud and annoying and constant about it. Even let your grades slip, if that’s what it would take to get you taken seriously. Your parents are being neglectful, and at some point, someone is going to report them or have a serious talk about it with them. It should not be shame or fear of consequences that makes them listen to you, but unfortunately, they don’t have the normal empathy that would make any reasonable adult take you to the doctor.
Cps would have a field day trip with you piece of shit parents
The denial of healthcare is considered abuse isn’t it?