So I just moved to a new house I am renting a room in. It is a two story five bedroom house with myself and two other males. I am subleasing the room from one of the roommates who holds the lease and am currently on a month to month. Let’s call the roomate Mark. I am a firefighter and my job is very stressful and requires me to be away from home for days and even weeks at a time with a very varied schedule. Some days I am off during the week and others I am off on the weekend. 15 days into my lease I have only spent two nights at my new home.
Anyways, I spent my second night at my place this month and decided to wake up early at 5:30 on a Sunday to go skiing. I premade my lunch, pre staged my clothes and packed the car the night before so as not disturb the others, but after I woke up in the morning I had to use the bathroom. As a result of this I have to flush the toilet. My roomate later informed me that I woke him up and that he is a light sleeper and that I need to flush the toilet more quietly and that I need to sneak out if I want to live here. We talked it out and I asked him if he wears ear plugs or can use a white noise machine. To which he replied no. I can’t sleep with either of those things.
He is a very thorough and detail oriented person as am I. I like having my things organized, my day planned out and a tidy living environment. I feel as though he has been “nitpicky” about other things too though. He informed me that he doesn’t like lights being left on or the house being left unlocked, but then proceeded to not lock the house and leave lights on before he went to bed. Which I checked. Additionally, I left some scouring pads under the sink to clean my cast iron and he asked me to remove them and put them in the garage because he is worried that someone might accidentally scrub the sink with them and damage it, but the contradiction is that the sponges he uses have scouring pads on them. There have been a few other things he has mentioned that just seem very minor to me. I am less than a month into my rental and I don’t want to be on eggshells in my home.
Please feel free to ask questions I just want other unbiased opinions.
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So I just moved to a new house I am renting a room in. It is a two story five bedroom house with myself and two other males. I am subleasing the room from one of the roommates who holds the lease and am currently on a month to month. Let’s call the roomate Mark. I am a firefighter and my job is very stressful and requires me to be away from home for days and even weeks at a time with a very varied schedule. Some days I am off during the week and others I am off on the weekend. 15 days into my lease I have only spent two nights at my new home.
Anyways, I spent my second night at my place this month and decided to wake up early at 5:30 on a Sunday to go skiing. I premade my lunch, pre staged my clothes and packed the car the night before so as not disturb the others, but after I woke up in the morning I had to use the bathroom. As a result of this I have to flush the toilet. My roomate later informed me that I woke him up and that he is a light sleeper and that I need to flush the toilet more quietly and that I need to sneak out if I want to live here. We talked it out and I asked him if he wears ear plugs or can use a white noise machine. To which he replied no. I can’t sleep with either of those things.
He is a very thorough and detail oriented person as am I. I like having my things organized, my day planned out and a tidy living environment. I feel as though he has been “nitpicky” about other things too though. He informed me that he doesn’t like lights being left on or the house being left unlocked, but then proceeded to not lock the house and leave lights on before he went to bed. Which I checked. Additionally, I left some scouring pads under the sink to clean my cast iron and he asked me to remove them and put them in the garage because he is worried that someone might accidentally scrub the sink with them and damage it, but the contradiction is that the sponges he uses have scouring pads on them. There have been a few other things he has mentioned that just seem very minor to me. I am less than a month into my rental and I don’t want to be on eggshells in my home.
Please feel free to ask questions I just want other unbiased opinions.
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> I flushed a. Toilet in my new house and woke my roommate up.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Honestly you sound like a dream roommate. You’re almost never there. This guy doesn’t know how good he has it and needs to get over himself. Toilets only have one volume. It’s not something you can do gently. The options are to flush or not to flush. NTA.
NTA. He sounds like a wannabe landlord playing house. Makes rules, breaks his own, then micromanages scouring pads like they’re a threat to national security. You’re not his tenant, you’re his scapegoat for everything he can’t control.
how the hell do you flush a toilet more quietly? NTA
Js by reading the title, no. Bc how does one flush a toilet quietly
Find somewhere else to stay that will never improve.
NTA Flush the toilet more quietly?! Wow. Please try and find another place to live, that amount of micro management of other people’s lives sounds like he’s one mistake away from doing something terrible.
NTA. That’s…not how toilets work. He seems like he wants to feel “in charge” and is just making up rules arbitrarily despite the fact that you appear to be a good roommate. You have to sneak in and out of a place you pay rent? You can’t flush the toilet too loud? Noise is a consequence of people existing in a space. He can’t just ban you from making reasonable noise.
Either you’re subletting from someone who didn’t inform the landlord they’re leasing from that you’re there, or he basically just wants you to pay him and disappear until it’s time to pay again. You need to nip this behavior now before his self-fueled power trip escalates.
Document everything by text. No more talking. When he withholds your security deposit for some made up bs you will need the proof. Good luck. NTA
NTA. If it were me I’d be looking for a few place asap.
Nta.
I myself am very light sleeper the smallest of noises wakes me up. The only way to “flush a toilet quietly” is one of those fancy expensive ones. You’re roomate needs to get a grip.
You’re NTA. You’re an ideal roommate just for never being there.
>My roomate later informed me that I woke him up and that he is a light sleeper and that I need to flush the toilet more quietly
I was unaware that toilets have a quiet flush setting. But if a toilet flushing wakes him up so harshly that he can’t get back to sleep, he should live alone.
As someone subleasing, it’s fair to expect some compromises, this isn’t a hotel. Water pressure, noise, even your bathroom schedule aren’t always controllable. Flushing a toilet isn’t rude, it’s basic hygiene. Honestly, floating poop at 5:30 am would’ve been way worse. If he’s that sensitive, maybe he’s the one who needs to adjust.
It’s time to find a new place
NTA, flushing wakes him up, he needs to run a fan or gray noise machine. Everything else, just tell him no. You pay rent, you get to live your life in your rented home.
NTA
Drop the nastiest double chili cheeseburger deuce in the toilet and leave it with an apology note that you didn’t want to wake him up by flushing, sorry.
I get being a light sleeper. I wake up if a pigeon farts in the next county, and it’s misery. But earplugs are a thing for a reason. If it’s that bad he can wear those and sleep on top of his phone with a vibrating alarm as the good lord intended.
If you were making an unreasonable amount of noise this would be a different story.
Also what the hell? About the scouring pads. Goddamn. He sounds dreadful.
NTA might be time to move on
NTA.
To flush quieter you can opt to not flush at all. Let’s see how long it takes for him to figure it out.
Honestly? I’d move. This guy is looking for issues that don’t exist.
NTA Please invite the roommate into your bathroom to demonstrate how to flush the toilet more quietly. Then point out that it still sounds the exact same.
The fact that he says one thing and does another is grating on my nerves… You’re a good roommate and there’s no way to flush the toilet quietly 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mate, it will never work out…u seem like a godsend and so many little things “annoying” your flatmate already, just a month…find a new place and live with someone who appreciates you and living with you…last thing u want is nit feelings comfortable and not stress in your own house.
Would he rather you leave it than to flush it? How do you flush quieter?! That sound is out of your control. NTA. Your roommate has roommates but doesn’t actually want roommates.
I think your roommate needs to live alone. How exactly does one flush a toilet more quietly? Politely ask it to make less noise? He seems like one of those people that will find ANYTHING to complain about.
You flushed a toilet and this man acted like you kicked his dog and set off fireworks.
He wants you to sneak out of your own home like a raccoon in tactical gear because he can’t handle the sound of basic plumbing.
You’re not the a**hole. You’re just living with one who thinks he’s the HOA of your bathroom habits.