First off English is not my first language so forgive my mistakes if any.
Long story short, I have a friend let’s call her H who proposed we get together, I was down and started saving up for Money to contribute. She told me we’d be 12 girls in total, most are her friends I’ve met before but we’re not close but I was fine with it since I was looking forward to making new friends.
Days later we agreed on an amount to contribute per person, we also agreed that after everyone contributes we will make a budget together keeping in mind people’s allergies or diet restrictions.
Then on Monday H texted me and sent a document of the budget? I was shocked but still opened it and I found a lot of the food there were things I cannot eat due to allergies. I asked her about it and she answered that the majority agreed with those things and that I should get over it and that i can just eat the other things there.
I thought about it and decided I wouldn’t go, and here’s were I was called the asshole,I asked for my money back since I wasn’t going to be attending. H and her friends are calling me a petty person because me backing out will do damage to their budget and so on. But I don’t see the problem here, so reddit am I really being unreasonable here??
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First off English is not my first language so forgive my mistakes if any.
Long story short, I have a friend let’s call her H who proposed we get together, I was down and started saving up for Money to contribute. She told me we’d be 12 girls in total, most are her friends I’ve met before but we’re not close but I was fine with it since I was looking forward to making new friends.
Days later we agreed on an amount to contribute per person, we also agreed that after everyone contributes we will make a budget together keeping in mind people’s allergies or diet restrictions.
Then on Monday H texted me and sent a document of the budget? I was shocked but still opened it and I found a lot of the food there were things I cannot eat due to allergies. I asked her about it and she answered that the majority agreed with those things and that I should get over it and that i can just eat the other things there.
I thought about it and decided I wouldn’t go, and here’s were I was called the asshole,I asked for my money back since I wasn’t going to be attending. H and her friends are calling me a petty person because me backing out will do damage to their budget and so on. But I don’t see the problem here, so reddit am I really being unreasonable here??
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Asking if I’m the asshole for backing out of the get together and if I should have really just get over it despite being allergic to most of the food on the menu that was created for the event. And affecting their so called ‘budget.’
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – although you both could’ve solved it better. I think meeting with your friends should also be an important thing aside from the menu, so you could’ve found some compromise – maybe pay half price?
Regardless, I don’t think you should feel obligated to contribute and attend in such scenario as described!
NTA. A I usually eat before events or bring my own food because most people are inconsiderate and I don’t always like to explain the details. I’ve been hospitalized over nonsense like this. Allergies can kill and injure, and cross contamination exists. It seems a bit reckless and inconsiderate to know about your handicap and still expect you to watch everyone else eat while you can’t because of your own safety. If you decide to go make a point of bringing something to eat,
NTA, sounds like basic stuff people organizing anything should know … I mean they literally told you they will but didn’t.
Wait a second ….. sooo you paid H money to pool for food so everyone could eat… then made a menu where you comment you can’t eat most of it.
Then H wants to act like she can’t be bothered to make adjustments to food so that you can eat…. Which she will be using funds that came from you.
Instead she’s wants you to pick at the food like you’re a guest that made no contribution.
Like your contribution isn’t enough for you to really be complaining…… yet if you pull the money you are in the wrong.
H is in the wrong. Hands down. Not you. Dodged a bullet. Hope they had a bad time. 🤭
12 people and one person pulling out is enough to make a big dent in the budget? I call scam. NTA
NTA, you shouldnt have to pay for food that you cant eat.
NTA, but H also isn’t your friend.
NTA. Nah this is wild. I have a friend who makes a monthly dinner for like 15 of us and everything is vegan and at least 1/2 is Gluten free so everyone can enjoy it. Your friends aren’t great
NTA – sometimes when there’s a large group of people holidaying together and there’s more than one allergy it can be VERY hard to pick meals that everyone can eat. So you learn to think outside the box. Pizza can be made so many different ways including gluten free. There’s also nothing wrong with cooking two or three main meals. It’s not like you have a shortage of people to help with cooking. If they wanted to be thoughtful, they could have. They clearly didn’t want to be thoughtful and to salt the wound, they wanted you to know that they couldn’t be bothered being thoughtful.
NTA. Ha this happened to me a while back, I gave money, turned up and none of the food I could eat. So I left and asked for my money back.