I’m giving up

r/

Throwaway. I (19F) have been homeless for a few months. Before then I lived with my mom and stepdad. He’s been lusting after me from the day he married my mom when I was 12. My mom didn’t care. After I turned 18 he demanded I start paying rent with my body, so I left. I got a job waitressing and stayed with friends but you can only crash on people’s couches for so long. I didn’t make enough to get a place of my own.

The restaurant I worked at closed down last month and I haven’t been able to find another job. I needed to eat so when a way older man hit on me, I went with it and he paid me. I feel disgusted with myself. For years I endured unwanted touching and creepy stares just to give my body to a perv. But I’m desperate and hungry can’t think of anything else. I’m scared of what kind of future awaits me after all this, so I’ve decided this is as far as I can go. I don’t have any family that loves me and my friends will be sad for a bit but they will move on.

Just wanted someone to know, even if no one cares. I wish life was kinder to us all.

Comments

  1. Brief_Ad4266 Avatar

    Well sometimes life is not kind but i really hope life will become better for you , just hold on for a bit longer .
    You sure are a strong girl for standing for yourself and I am proud.
    Just start by having another job and if possible try getting a scholarship for college.

  2. maryannelamarre21 Avatar

    Life is so damn hard. My heart breaks for you. I wish I had words of advice but all I have is genuine warm thoughts that your world will become easier.