[16m] I’m currently in high school and yeah i’ll just make bullet points to make it more comprehensible.
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I am a part of the school soccer team, and there’s this one dude who was my friend in elementary school. I currently would consider him a friend asw but not really THAT close. Most of the other teammates have the same relationship w me.
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My parents divorced when i was 10 due to excessive fighting and arguing and then my dad went no contact. My mom got rlly depressed and started drinking a lot. She also would skip work a lot. She also gets fits of rages which existed before divorce too where she can yell at anyone around her including me and thrash around. I would be stuck trying to make her sleep after drinking, doing chores, taking car eof the house and helping her w financial budgeting. She also currently has a boyfriend who she argues with a lot.
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One day, my teammates (there were like 10) came over for pizza and vid games. I didn’t know my mom would come home early from drinking and she was w her bf. She was pretty drunk so she was yelling at me in front of them so i tried taking her to another room and then she started throwing things around and obv that startled the teammates so i told the bf to handle it while i took them out for a pizza instead.
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After a couple of days, my father shows up on our door. I got confused because why is he here and what does he want? Turned out that elementary school friend told his mom and he wanted her to call my dad about everything he knew. He also told my dad that i am supposedly “depressed”, “overworked”, “angry” because i was distant from other people, skipping school (can’t i take a break?), talking back to teachers (only bec they were genuinely being illogical). Depressed? This is illogical because the only person that needs help is my mom. My dad then overstepped by telling me that i should be under his care now and he’d fight for it. Really? Its so stupid bec you have been no contact for years and now you decide to talk to me bec of a single call from someone i am not close to? I refused and told him he should instead pay for mom’s therapy. I’ll be fine bec i have a life and everything. My mom doesn’t.
After that, i was just really angry at the friend for not talking to me beforehand and just throwing me into this unwanted situation. I decided to leave the soccer team too.
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[16m] I’m currently in high school and yeah i’ll just make bullet points to make it more comprehensible.
I am a part of the school soccer team, and there’s this one dude who was my friend in elementary school. I currently would consider him a friend asw but not really THAT close. Most of the other teammates have the same relationship w me.
My parents divorced when i was 10 due to excessive fighting and arguing and then my dad went no contact. My mom got rlly depressed and started drinking a lot. She also would skip work a lot. She also gets fits of rages which existed before divorce too where she can yell at anyone around her including me and thrash around. I would be stuck trying to make her sleep after drinking, doing chores, taking car eof the house and helping her w financial budgeting. She also currently has a boyfriend who she argues with a lot.
One day, my teammates (there were like 10) came over for pizza and vid games. I didn’t know my mom would come home early from drinking and she was w her bf. She was pretty drunk so she was yelling at me in front of them so i tried taking her to another room and then she started throwing things around and obv that startled the teammates so i told the bf to handle it while i took them out for a pizza instead.
After a couple of days, my father shows up on our door. I got confused because why is he here and what does he want? Turned out that elementary school friend told his mom and he wanted her to call my dad about everything he knew. He also told my dad that i am supposedly “depressed”, “overworked”, “angry” because i was distant from other people, skipping school (can’t i take a break?), talking back to teachers (only bec they were genuinely being illogical). Depressed? This is illogical because the only person that needs help is my mom. My dad then overstepped by telling me that i should be under his care now and he’d fight for it. Really? Its so stupid bec you have been no contact for years and now you decide to talk to me bec of a single call from someone i am not close to? I refused and told him he should instead pay for mom’s therapy. I’ll be fine bec i have a life and everything. My mom doesn’t.
After that, i was just really angry at the friend for not talking to me beforehand and just throwing me into this unwanted situation. I decided to leave the soccer team too.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to accept my dad’s requests or whatever. I may be TA because everyone is telling me the opposite.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
1a— your mom is an alcoholic. She needs help. In a backwards way, the fact that you are taking care of and covering for her will take her that much longer to get help.
2a—you need help. You don’t think you do, but again, you’re 16, you are not an adult, and should not be responsible for your mothers drinking and its aftermath
3a— how many “mental breaks” have you been taking anyway?
Isolating yourself just proves your friend’s point—you’re not ok, you do need help, you are going to need a bunch of therapy, and I hope you give your dad a chance.
You’re in a tough situation, from everything said your friend was right to tell his mom, and to get your Pops involved. You’re absolutely lucky CPS didn’t get involved you’d be in a group home rn instead of your Pops. You need to be 16 not 30. Your mom is not your responsibility. You should also maintain a safe distance from alcohol in your life. Addiction is hereditary. Your mom needs to get treatment. Leaving her and encouraging her to seek treatment might be your only way of helping her.