Now we all have that one person we know or that one friend or acquaintance that always goes through a lot of relationships. The problem I think about this all together is they’re most likely the problem.
Now this isn’t to go out on a limb and say that the other person isn’t at fault and sometimes we do meet shitty people but at the same time that person who is complaining about being in a lot of relationships and are always complaining about the other person fail to realize they’re also the common denominator in those situations
It has portrayed the fact that a lot of people are quick to blame other people for failed relationships but maybe they’re the reason for it but no one is outwardly going to admit they’re the shitty one most of the time.
A lot of the times if not most of the time the person whose always in and out of relationships are most likely the problem.
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Granted, maybe I’m biased by age or something, but this just seems overly simplistic. Relationships are rarely black & white like this.
Do breakups require someone to be the problem?
So. Taylor Swift.
People who are in and out of relationships constantly are often people who never learned to be happy and function on their own “which is also why their relationships fail so often”.
They’ll get broken up with and rush right into the mix of it again with a new person for all the wrong reasons which inevitably leads to their next breakup.
Yup. I have known people who have been divorced 3 or more times. After getting to know them, I usually find character flaws that would drive a spouse to leave them.
is this unpopular? if you’re in 10 relationships, you’re the common denominator. YOU were in all 10 of those relationships. if none of them worked out, it’s you. or your taste sucks, and you just only date horrible people, i guess.
Is this an unpopular opinion at all?
I’m just extremely toxic to all my gfs, they don’t take me seriously or show that they care so I turn into Future
This reminded me of what people say about meeting jerks. If you meet a jerk once, that other person is probably a jerk. If you keep meeting jerks, you’re probably the jerk.
Why be so judgmental about another person’s pain? If you feel helping them through their breakups is too much for you to be friends, set a boundary or stop being their friend, but people are entitled to feel hurt after a breakup, no matter who’s ‘fault’ it is.
Yea, it’s like my niece who can’t see to keep a job. There’s always some mean coworker/boss or some ridiculous policy like requiring her to work five whole days… in the same week even!
I finally got tired of her whining and just bluntly told her the only common denominator in those scenarios is you.
Same thing here. The person that is in and out of relationships every other week are almost always the problem. I’m not sure this is unpopular though.
Maybe not the same type, but I’ve met a few people who always seem to have 8-10 different problems a week – problems that could be avoided, problems that are so absurd and illogical, I can’t even begin to understand why anyone would put themselves in situations that could lead to such outcomes.
It usually comes down to their indecisiveness, poor lifestyle choices and the reluctancy to adapt to changes or adjust their approach to life in general.
They are constantly surprised by the inevitable consequences of their careless and illogical actions and they keep asking for the same advice that you know for sure they are not going to take.
Is this an unpopular opinion? I think the only ones who would attempt to disagree are the ones constantly breaking up.
If we lean on behavioural psychology, what it tells us is that most of the time, we end up with the wrong person because we’re beholden to what’s familiar to us, not what’s right to us. So, even though we know what’s right, we’ll go for what’s familiar. This is why people from single-parent families will end up alone or divorced themselves, or why people who who witnessed abuse will often end up abusing someone or become a victim of abuse. It’s also why victims of abuse can be abused in multiple relationships. It’s because familiarity is a strong force; It’s ingrained in us. And predators can sniff these things out.
So, while I might agree with you to some degree, we all have similarly repetitive issues. And again, if we lean on psychology, what we know is that we don’t change that much from our core characteristics. There’s some elasticity because that’s what the entire self-help industry is predicated on. But we can’t transform our lives as much as we think.
But I would agree that in breakups, there’s typically too much focus on the other person and not enough on onesself. Whenever someone says “All men are so and so” or “all women are so and so” to me that tells me that the person probably didn’t reflect enough on the relationship itself before concluding that all men or women are the same. But interpersonal analysis is not something everyone can do.