New pillows have too much pillow. Even the soft ones are hard. When you lay on a new pillow it folds up around your ears like it’s going to swallow your whole head. If you try to sleep anywhere but the middle it slips out from under your head like the ingredients in a poorly made sandwich. Cost is not a factor, expensive ones suck too. Don’t get me started on feather, who wants to be stabbed in the face by something made for comfort? I’m NOT talking about old pillows that just get flat and hard. They’re as trash as a new one.
The best pillow is one that has lost all integrity and is now a sack of crumbly bits. Oh but they get gross and yellow! Wash them and use a pillowcase, heathen. It’s like you’re sleeping on a bag of marshmallows. It perfectly forms around your head. You can move the chunks to give you support where you need. Too loose? Shake the sack and fold the flaccid bit over. Now it’s nice and firm. Too lumpy? No it isn’t. You can’t feel shit, you’re not the princess and the pea.
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