It be a deep sigh and then just trying to figure out how to go to work and work around the stab wound because rent in inevitable and then I die because I’ve bled out because I keep telling people that if they called an ambulance for me they can pay for it themselves.
I got stabbed in the belly with a box-cutter in the locker room in high school, and I didn’t say anything. Maybe like “uuugh” but it’s all kinda blurry. The dude said something I don’t remember as he and his two buddies grouped together and walked away. The thing was only like a half-inch out so no real damage done, I just put my gym shorts on it and covered it with my shirt, never reported it.
I wish I’d have said something cool like, “are you in? I can’t feel you.”
“I say, good sir, it does appear that you have misplaced your knife in my midsection. I’m sure this most distressing oversight will be redressed to our mutual satisfaction presently. “
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and then after a while i’d go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Husband actually was stabbed. heavy sigh “That was my new shirt…” Him and his Best friend that did it still talk to this day even though they’re in separate states now lol.
I actually did get stabbed many years ago. It was just in my arm but that’s only because I managed to block the guy from doing much worse. I believe I said, pretty calmly, You stabbed me. Then I wailed on him until the cops arrived.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
Fun fact : I once crashed into a car with my scooter. I went flying above the car, seeing death coming my way. Time got weird; it got slow enough for me to think some last words.
As someone who gas been stabbed. . . .you dont tend to notice until the adrenaline wears off.
I beat the shit out of the okes, but had severed nerves in my right hand and now jumpy ligaments that “crack” kinda like the sound of cracking knuckles.
Well the first time I got stabbed I couldn’t say anything, something about knives in lungs that make it immediately hard to talk. But the second time I said the fuck you doing!!!
Comments
help me
Jesus
ow
“et tu, brute? then fall u/which-village3092”
“Straight to the point huh?”
I would say “Et Tu, Brute?” in an attempt to lighten the mood.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Depends where I was stabbed
Do it again
You stabbed me!!!!
Literally just stabbed myself de-pitting an avocado: “aaagghhh – fffuuuucckkk owowow”
You fought well, Atreides.
As someone who’s been accidentally stabbed by his friend? Ow, that fucking hurts
T’is but a scratch!
god dammit not again.
Help me! Someone call an ambulance!
“Ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this.”
FUCK
why did you do that
Christopher Lee on what it sounds like to be stabbed
my entire goddamn skeleton, dickhead
At least buy me a drink first
Have I just been stabbed?
godverdomme
Think admin will finally send the student home?
-a burnt out high needs high behavior para.
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.
Delete my browser history
Fuck, only I’m allowed to do that to myself 😡
Run to a table and scream
Don’t react to avoid losing aura
“Very exquisite manner of splendidly maneuvering an object into my skin and organs lad, magnificent work I must tell”
Well that ain’t good
Never bring a knife to a gun fight.
“nice!”
I fence, and that’s how I call my opponents shots when they land. I’m sure it’s just reflex now.
Curse this sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Probably some dumb SpongeBob quote or something.
“Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?”
Or “MY LEG!!”
I’M LEAKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
“Look at that. I’ve been impaled! Hahaha!”
Ouch
Ruh Roh
fair enough, deserved that.
It be a deep sigh and then just trying to figure out how to go to work and work around the stab wound because rent in inevitable and then I die because I’ve bled out because I keep telling people that if they called an ambulance for me they can pay for it themselves.
Fuck you, I WILL Haunt You. That’s a PROMISE
“You stab like a girl” then laugh at my own joke as I bleed out
HELLO!
MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA
“Call 911″…?
“that’s not a Noif, this is a Noif!” – in a thick Australian accent (I am not Australian)
’tis but a scratch
That’s gonna leave a mark.
O I am slain
[ Removed by Reddit ]
I got stabbed in the belly with a box-cutter in the locker room in high school, and I didn’t say anything. Maybe like “uuugh” but it’s all kinda blurry. The dude said something I don’t remember as he and his two buddies grouped together and walked away. The thing was only like a half-inch out so no real damage done, I just put my gym shorts on it and covered it with my shirt, never reported it.
I wish I’d have said something cool like, “are you in? I can’t feel you.”
What are you gonna do? Stab me again?
“Yes… Finally… Finally!!”
“Do you know how i know you’re gay, because you’re inside me” while making unflinching eye contact
I’ve been stabbed. Twice. All I said was fuck.
FUCK
Ouch. That hurt.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood
“So is that a ‘no’ to ice cream?”
[removed]
“I say, good sir, it does appear that you have misplaced your knife in my midsection. I’m sure this most distressing oversight will be redressed to our mutual satisfaction presently. “
“Deeper daddy”
why’d you stab me?
Ssssss.. ahhhhh… sssss.. ahhhhh
“You fucking stabbed me!”
“when I said ‘what’re you gonna do, stab me’ I didn’t think you actually would!”
“Well fuck”
I have been stabbed, first thing I said was “What the hell?!” Followed by “Really dude?!”
“Yeah, that just figures.”
I’m out of fucks to give.
“What’re you going to do, stab me twice?” – guy who was stabbed twice
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and then after a while i’d go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Realistically? Probably “what the fuck”
Fuck! Why did you stab me?
Jimmy, if you keep stabbing me, I’m gonna fuckin die…
I found your knife. True story.🗡⚔️
Husband actually was stabbed. heavy sigh “That was my new shirt…” Him and his Best friend that did it still talk to this day even though they’re in separate states now lol.
I imagine help, call 911 will be my first thought
“Who the fuck starts a conversation like that?! I just sat down!”
You got a license for that knife?
Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that.
“Well this isn’t ideal.”
“Wait… did that just happen?” Probably followed by a string of shock and confusion before the pain actually hits.
“That dead guy on the ground attacked me first.”
(I trained in kali knife combat for 10 yrs)
Oh look at that…. I’ve been impaled
Knowing me probably “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU” to whoever stabbed me. Then panic would set in that I’ve been stabbed!
“You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!”
(Crocodile Dundee reference)
Et tu, Brute?
that’s just a flesh wound
Wtf dad
Ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bingbang
I actually did get stabbed many years ago. It was just in my arm but that’s only because I managed to block the guy from doing much worse. I believe I said, pretty calmly, You stabbed me. Then I wailed on him until the cops arrived.
Tis but a scratch!
Ahhhhh!
Dang it, I told you that I wanted to be BUTT stabbed!
Tell my wife I said… hello..
dies
I’ve been stabbed.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
Go deeper
“That’s gonna leave a mark!”
Why did you stab me?
“Ah Fuck!” Like, what else is there to say.
What the fuck?
Probably a “what the fuck”
You got me with the pointy end
“Fuck”
Well fuck
Please make sure I’m not going to survive this, or else I’ll hunt you and stab you back. 😑
Fun fact : I once crashed into a car with my scooter. I went flying above the car, seeing death coming my way. Time got weird; it got slow enough for me to think some last words.
“Oh, fuck.”
Turns out I’m no philosopher.
Aaah, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
For the meme, I’d say “Oh look at that.. I’ve been impaled.”
But realistically, I’d say “Oh shit, wtf!?”
Did you just stab me?
Never even made it to El Salvador
Hello. My name is Inego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Not again!
On GTA RP last night a random dude ran up to me and stabbed me…
I yelled “wtf man you just stabbed me”
I walk away… Proceeds to get hit by a car & die.
“WHAT THE F$&@??”
ow fuck
Ouch
What you did is not nice!! It’s not nice to do that!!
“You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!”
That’s not a knife. THIS is a knife.
Ala Flight of the Conchords in song: ~Ahhhhhhhhh Can somebody get these knives and forks out of my leg please!
Yeah been there. Drunk idiot got me. My words were “ah fck, that was a terrible idea”
‘Tis but a scratch
“who the fuck stabs people anymore”
“You didn’t use enough force to kill me, lemme help you…”
“Bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit”
“Tis but a scratch, but a scratch”
Buddy, what the fuck
As someone who gas been stabbed. . . .you dont tend to notice until the adrenaline wears off.
I beat the shit out of the okes, but had severed nerves in my right hand and now jumpy ligaments that “crack” kinda like the sound of cracking knuckles.
Finally. Some me time.
I don’t think I’d be able to form any words. I’d probably just yell at the person.
Help
mumble incoherent words that sound like i’m putting a curse on them
Well the first time I got stabbed I couldn’t say anything, something about knives in lungs that make it immediately hard to talk. But the second time I said the fuck you doing!!!
Eh tu Brute?
So that’s what it feels like.
“I’m dead, I’m dead!!!”
Why is there blood on the floor …. oh.
Got stabbed in the leg as a kid, first thing I said was “what the f*ck dude”
Nice, a new pocket!
Why do I keep stabbing myself?