The worst feeling is when you want to end your life but you just can’t physically bring yourself to it because of your survival instinct, and the part of you that feels guilty for inflicting pain on others. I know people will move on and that they’ll be happier without me. But somehow..I just can’t bring myself to swallow the pills. I’ve counted them, thought of everything. I don’t know why. I’m scared I guess.
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That is the part of you that knows you shouldn’t talking. There’s so much you’ve yet to do. So much time to do better if needed, so much time to spend with those you love. There’s flowers you haven’t seen and dogs you haven’t pet yet. There’s relationships and friends and even parts of YOU you haven’t met yet. It isn’t your time and your brain knows it.
I’m sorry you’re going through this friend. I’ve been there before myself. But I’m really happy I stuck around, and I hope you can feel the same way some day. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but trust me, you matter. You’re worth it. And a random internet stranger is rooting for you. 💜
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, it can be very isolating. Maybe your fear stems from something else that holds you here, I know it’s cliche but there are people who love you, who would miss you if you were gone. I don’t know what exactly you are tackling in your life currently but what I do know is, we shouldn’t make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings. You may feel you want to end your life, but are there things that bring you joy? People you’d like to reconnect with? New memories you’d like to make? We don’t get a lot of time on this earth, and there are so many things out there we never get to experience even living a full life. So maybe all you really need is a bit of hope for the future, try to enjoy the small things, reach out to people who love you or who you miss, when you’re isolated it can make things so much worse. The first step was you making this post, you clearly still care, you want to live and you want people to know that, just know you are seen and heard ❤️
only reason why I’m still here is because I don’t have a gun. the pills might not work
That’s your subconscious telling you to not go through with it. Speaking as someone who goes through the exact same thing you are, please talk to someone. Call the suicide hotline. Talk to a therapist. Talk to a friend. We are not alone.
Hey you, I just want to let you know that holding grudges against yourself for other people is kind of a purposeless thing to do.
I don’t know what you’ve done, and I can’t tell you what you’ve done is forgivable. But when you hurt other people, it is their right to choose to hold judgement or grudges against you, not yours. You can be remorseful without punishing yourself. You can choose to do better going forward without constantly looking back and hating yourself for your past decisions.
It just doesn’t do you any good, and it doesn’t do the person you’ve wronged any good. Let them decide if what you have done is forgivable – and if they decide it isn’t, you can walk away without dying. Walk away, let them heal on their own, focus on your own healing and doing better. Be on your own team – the consequences for your actions against other people should be determined by them, not you. And if they choose to hate you, you don’t also need to hate yourself.
Survival instincts exist for a reason. I’m so sorry you are going through this, and I hope you find a way to forgive yourself. It wasn’t you that was wronged so you deserve to forgive yourself, and I hope you can find a way forward. I believe in you and I’m here to hear you if you need someone.
I’ve been in that place too—the kind where your mind gets so loud it feels like there’s no way out. And yet, even when you’re done, something in you holds on. That something? It’s not weakness. It’s your strength, even if it’s quiet. The fact that you’re still here, even with all that weight… that means something. You don’t have to carry it alone. You’re not broken. And I promise—there are moments still ahead that will feel light, even beautiful, even if that’s hard to believe right now
Sending prayers 🙏
Iv have felt that way as well. Sometimes things just get overwhelming and tough to handle. Just take it one day at a time. I promise you things will get better.
❤️🩹
Im right there with you friend. Every day I go to sleep hoping I don’t wake up, but every day I do, I have to find another reason to stay alive.
When I was 20, my best friend took his own life. Several of us who knew and loved him have since agreed that seeing what his family went through and feeling what we all went through kept us from going over that edge ourselves.
I suggest start making a change in some part of your life. Anything. Go to a different coffee shop. Read a book at the library. Steal a car. (Just kidding dont steal a car). Eat something you’ve never tried before.
You’re not broken, you dont need to be fixed. You just need some perspective. I know i do.
What I can say about this feeling because I’ve felt this way more than enough times and have unfortunately attempted multiple times is this : we don’t want to end our life, we just want to end the way our life is right now.
We’re scared of dying because we don’t want to die. We just want to stop suffering.
Once I recognized that I was able to find ways to reduce my suffering.
I hope you find peace in your life to get through this. Please reach out for help if you need it.
I kept myself alive bc I didn’t want to hurt the people around me. Now I don’t want to die anymore and I’m pretty glad that I didn’t do it. I don’t wanna say that it’ll get better bc i dont know but it did for me, and there’s a chance it will for you too. The way i see it, you either die and feeling like shit will be your forever, no chance to ever see if it could’ve been something better. Or you live and you might not regret it, and no one got hurt in the process. I don’t know how old you are but I always told myself to at leats give myself until my brain is fully developed to make any life changing decisions.
There is help. There is cognitive therapy and books that can help you look at like in a different way. If you can, wake up and take a walk around the block the first thing in the morning. It’s really helpful. There are meditations that I’ve heard people say saved their lives. You don’t have to feel this way. If you’ve done something that’s making you feel this way, those feelings will always pass and you will learn to adjust. Try and be a good person and find your passion.
I overdosed this Monday, which was also my birthday. I’m still here, though. Over the years, I’ve convinced myself of many things to make some choices easier. I’m doing my best to try and see things clearly, but it’s not something I really know how to do.