I (27M) have been struggling alot with thoughts and anxiety about being a Virgin. It used to not bother me but in the past few months it has been stuck in my mind all the time, especially at Night. I‘m not a very Social Person, usually not feeling very excited about going out, especially not with new/unfamiliar people, which is surely Not helping with losing it. I feel like i‘m missing out and aging out of the best time for it, as neither me nor potential Partners are getting younger.
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There have never been so many people sexually inactive in the history of humanity and probably never will again, seems like the right time to be a virgin. You can still freak out about it, but it’s exceptionaly common.
Most guys make friends with girls first, then kiss and hug, then get frisky. Going out, being social, getting laid right away works best for the tall, dark, handsome and rich guys. Most guys aren’t. If she is your friend first, then you will trust each other. If she likes you enough to want to have sex with you, she won’t mind if you are anxious and inexperienced. She might be happy to teach you. If she also is introverted and gets social anxiety, the two of you can comfort and reassure each other.
Unless you’re concerned with reproducing, there really is no time limit on when you do or do not lose your virginity. Those who would mock you for it are not worth your time or energy. Literally the only thing “bad” about virginity is how society views it as a sign of immaturity or undesirability, and how much pressure it puts on us to be experienced adults in all ways before most people have even developed fully, all while hiding that the only difference between adults and children is how well we can fake being “adults.”
No matter how introverted or extroverted a person is, the best things in life happen when you’re expanding your comfort zone. But where people go wrong is they think they have to do something way outside their bounds or else it doesn’t count. This almost always fails miserably and puts you hiding in safety again for even longer. Everyone has a uniquely-sized and uniquely-shaped comfort zone, and only you have the best idea what yours is. So you need to do some thinking about how you can start to take baby steps (there literally is no step too small when it comes to this) outside a couple areas of your comfort. If you do it right (read: really fucking small and slow, but consistently) you will be amazed at the transformations that will start to happen. Do not rush this idea though; do not start thinking every day “have I grown yet?”; just keep trying to do tiny ass little things that stretch yourself and don’t try to analyze anything for 6 months to a year. At that point you will not be a rockstar but I think you will be proud of yourself and happy that you started doing this. Good luck!!!
This might get me a lot of downvotes, but why not hire an escort? Maybe losing your virginity will help you mentally.
I know a lot of people here will brush your concerns aside, telling you how being a virgin isn’t that much a problem, bla bla bla. The usual bullshit they sell you here on reddit.
And while some of it might be true, the real truth is a lot of people in real life will think weird of you to still be a virgin at almost 30. Just that people here like to say it’s not true.
I was a virgin until 25 and believe if I had not found a GF. I would have hired an escort before turning 30.
Just want to say I understand how you are feeling, and it sucks. I was also not a social person and have social anxiety, too. So, I was the same.