Just like the title says. I had a good friend offer me a piece of advice a long time ago. I didn’t take his advice. Almost every single day for the past few years I’ve thought about what he said and regretted not taking his advice. Anyone else experience anything like that?
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I probably could think of several but one in particular stands out. I was warned that the department within the company I desperately wanted to work for was a shitty place to work. I took the job anyway and regretted it.
“know who you are”
“Stay the Course.” My dad started saying this to me when I was a teenager, facing typical unsure teenage decisions. He said when really undecided or undirected, just stay in place, it will almost always come to light.
It has. Just a few years ago I couldn’t figure out what to do about a situation, and I stayed the course for two years. It all worked out.
There are a few times of course when a decision had to be made. I think I made the better choice in about half. Hindsight…
From my Grandpa…
“Just keep on going.”
“You’re just hurting yourself”
In the context of being motivated out of reaction instead of action.
The hardest thing to learn in the world is to realize you only have control over your own thoughts, feelings and actions. No matter how badly someone else upsets you or angers you or terrifies you, you can’t control what they do.
You can only control what you choose to do. But understand, you have no control over what happens after you choose your actions.
It was advice to not get married. “Do you really think someone who abandoned her own kid is going to stay with you?” I often wished over the years I’d had the sense to listen to that one.
Put money into a retirement account.
I was in my 20s and thought there would be plenty of time to do that later …. Turns out, years go by quickly!
“You can’t afford not to see a therapist.”
Said to me a good 20 years before I got serious about therapy. 🤷♀️
Back in the 80’s I had someone tell me to buy at least one ounce of gold each year and hold it.
Get married at City Hall and use the absurd amount of money it costs for a wedding on a house.
Great post!
No one told me this but we observed friends buying a house very cheap instead of throwing away money on rent for years…wish we hadn’t done that!
“Take a chance!”. I was so risk-averse that I missed out on many of life’s chances & opportunities bc of my fear of failure!
Don’t let anyone tell you twice they don’t want you. – my wise mama
combined with
When people show you who they are, believe them… the first time! – our wise Maya
“Be prepared, be prepared
And unless you got a spare
You got one life so handle it with care”- goat from hoodwinked
“If you can’t see things from another’s view, step back, and try another angle” – third grade teacher (shout out Mr. Morris)
“Know your limit, play within it”
Regarding grief:
You won’t just get over it, you have to go through it.
You won’t get over it, but you’ll get better at dealing/living with it.
Tears always feel better on the outside; it’s okay to cry when you need to.
My dad, when he found out he had cancer, was making my marriage a priority while not forcing me.
I was 26 at the time. After a masters, my career was still not taking off, I was living like a nomad. Marriage wasn’t even on my mind. Plus I’d seen older Indian women lose their identity serving a man they called a husband. I didn’t want that.
And so my dad said that everyone needs someone. I said I had friends. Lots of friends. And he said friends will start having their own family and disappear. Which came true.
And then I said. I have my older brother and sister. They’re married with kids. They will be there for me.
He said, as long as parents are around, the siblings are close, once they pass away they’ll be gone as well.
I didn’t believe that one bit. My siblings cared for me a lot. Coz of the age difference they treated me kind of like their child.
But sure enough. 5 years after his passing our relationship has turned into something I don’t recognize. It’s family to say but we’re not at all as close. Something I never thought would happen.
And nw I’m so lonely. No family, no friends. Going through some really hard life and I’m 35. Hard to find a decent person at this age. If I wait until 40 for divorces, it’ll be too late for me to ahve kids and then what’s the point.
I should’ve prioritized dating and realized not all marriages require a woman to sacrifice like in India.
It’s different now.
Don’t get married and don’t have kids! I did not listen.
Don’t ignore good advice.
It’s easier to learn from the other guys’ mistakes.
Don’t ignore good advice.
It’s easier to learn from the other guys’ mistakes.
A buddy from work, probably 15 years and 45 pounds ago, told me, “You gotta get to retirement to enjoy retirement.”
I took the hint and got myself in shape. Now, at way closer to 70 than 60, my resting heart rate is 60. As I recover from Covid and get back in the gym, it’ll be at 55-57 in a few more weeks. I’ve also gained muscle mass that I thought was gone forever.
“Hold on to those stocks”
Leave every situation with grace and dignity, regardless of how others act.
A crackhead walking away from dumb shit. She was right.
My advice is to learn how to let things go, had to not beat yourself up over the path not taken.
Life is full of learning experiences, missed opportunities, following or not following good advice, etc., and learning to take that all in stride and accepting that you’re always doing the best you can at the time is helpful.
I’ve been given good advice and terrible, horrible advice. Ignored them both. I’ve learned important things in both scenarios.
You can’t always know in the moment which is the good advice and which is the bad. The next advice you ignore might be the advice you needed to ignore, and you’ll come out ahead. So don’t beat yourself up. Just own your mistakes and learn from them. Few mistakes are a failure if you learn and do better. And believe me, there are some really crappy advice-givers out there, so skepticism isn’t always unwarranted.
I am trying really hard to think of good advice I didn’t follow. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve been given good advice very often. Quite a lot of bad advice that I mostly didn’t take.
Oh, my aunt told me I needed to go out of state for school to get away from my family, and that she would help me do it. And originally I didn’t. When I finally did, she was helping other nieces and nephews, so wasn’t really available to help me to. Strike while the iron is hot. I also didn’t go to the college she thought I should go to. It was fine, but she was right about that.
I’m very curious what the advice was OP. (Unless it’s too personal.)