My husband has this eyebrow ring that he is weirdly attached to. I mean, the man could lose his wallet, phone, or wedding ring and just shrug it off, but if that tiny metal ball from his eyebrow ring goes missing? Full-blown national emergency.
Every time it falls off (which is more often than you’d think), he searches for like… ten seconds. Just ten seconds of squinting at the carpet, sighs dramatically, and then announces, “Welp. It’s gone forever.”
That’s when I step in like the wizard-wife I am.
I always “find it.”
Every. Single. Time.
I’m basically the eyebrow ring whisperer.
Only… here’s the secret:
I’m not finding anything.
I bought a bulk pack of those little screw-on balls from Amazon months ago. I hide them in my jewelry box like a dragon hoarding tiny metal treasures. Every time he “loses” one, I just pretend to find it behind the couch or in a random sock and hand him a brand new one.
He still thinks I have some kind of supernatural ability to locate tiny metal spheres in thick carpet or under furniture. He once called me “the human magnet.” I didn’t correct him. I feel like I’ve earned this.
One day I’ll tell him… maybe. Or maybe I’ll just keep this going until we’re old and gray and he still thinks I have a sixth sense for body jewelry.
Wives: it’s not always about manipulation. Sometimes it’s about quietly being a genius. 😌💅
Anyway, that’s my confession. Bless this man and his mysteriously regenerating eyebrow ring.
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Y’all… I’ve basically become his personal eyebrow ring fairy. I should be charging a service fee at this point.
This is honestly the most wholesome deception I’ve ever read 😂 you’re not just a genius, you’re a low-key legend. He’s out here thinking he married a metal-finding wizard and you’re just over there running an eyebrow ring black market from your jewelry box. Iconic behavior.
This is the kind of secret that deserves its own sitcom episode 😂 You’re out here preserving his sense of wonder and masculinity with Amazon Prime and quick thinking. That’s not manipulation—that’s elite wife strategy.
As someone with an eyebrow ring, this is hilarious!
Also, they do come off more often than you would think. Lol
I personally take more than 10 seconds to look for mine, and I have mostly hardwood floors, so I have better luck actually finding it. Lol
Carry a few of them with you in your handbag so if he loses it when you’re out and about, Voilà, wifey IS a human magnet!!
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One day he’ll find one of those that are missing, while wearing one from your bulk.. have a ready response😉 But this whole thing is so sweet, bless you both.
Tell him when you’re on your dying bed.
This is so sweet.
This made me laugh. Thank you for that.