You’re an adult and they want you to live with them and you want to live with them for several reasons (you also have a job, this is not a refusing to grow up situation). But sometimes they are disrespectful and you want to say something but if you do, they would just get mad at you. So you have to learn to be quiet and not express any dissatisfaction.
Thanks
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Don’t be quiet. Express your feelings. Don’t shout, don’t get mad, just say what you feel. Let them freak out as much as they want. I’ve been through the same with my mom. She fucked up her retirement and I’m the one who supports her now. Still, she treats me like a child. I said enough. Asked why she does such things- she says is to made a better person. Then I told her I’m as best as a person I will ever be; her job is done, I don’t need her to take care of me, I just need her respect. She got MAD. Said she would stop cooking, cleaning, and even talking to me. I said it didn’t have to be like that, she could do those things out of care, not out of motherly obligation. I don’t need a mom anymore, I need a friend. She’s… kind of starting to get. Establish small boundaries at first, see how they’ll react. All I asked was to stop asking about how much I’m making a week, and the time I go to bed. She even calls herself out on it, “I know you don’t like it, but…” then don’t ask, I say. Its working a little. It all depends on how stubborn they are.
It took me years to be able to stand up to my mom. She is very toxic and controlling. Nothing is ever “her fault” and she lies and manipulates. It took a lot of practice with boundaries to get it right. But I was honest, even if it led to a fight. I would refuse to talk to her until she apologized and understood what she did wrong (childish). We still struggle but I stand my ground and it works
Stay quiet? When you find out let me know lol. I say more now that I am older and can see the behavior patterns that aren’t healthy. I just try to do my best to not match the level of crazy happening before me 😂
You are hoping for a drama free solution, but are unlikely to find one. To some parents, children are pretty much property, and so long as their children “live under their roof”, they will expect ownership. If this seems like your parents, you can either tolerate it or leave. If they need help, then you have to set boundaries around behaviour and hold them absolutely firm. It won’t be easy, but parents CAN be trained, with a lot of work … So much work….
You find a way to pull you boot straps up and gtfo of there. Mom dad friend stranger whoever should respect your feelings and if not then that’s not a space for you. Good luck OP!
Well, I’m dealing with this situation myself, but it’s getting better.
Learning how to argue and express yourself is important. It helps to not try to argue in the heat of the moment, but to wait till everyone’s cooled off and then bring up the subject calmly. People in general, but especially parents, are very good at forgetting you can’t read their minds and kind of expect you to know what they intend to say instead of taking what they actually say at face value.
Usually I’d make it very clear I’m pissed by storm off and just jeep walking till i felt like returning.
Just let it slide they the only ones you get enjoy the time with them. My dad would roast us and bring the only son I got yelled at for everything I was the only one that had to do yard work or any type of house chores. Looking back I miss my dad yelling at me cause he wasn’t yelling just to yell he helped me become a hard worker that’s willing to get my hand dirty and ain’t afraid to pick up a shovel. this might not be the case for you but my point is that shits for the birds enjoy your time with them or fuck it crash out and let them have it