Prom is coming up soon, and I have already pretty much decided I want to break up with him. However, I can’t break up right before prom for a few reasons, mostly because I know it would ruin his prom night and our friends’. How long after prom would be appropriate to break up? I want to break up soon after, because it’s been awkward/unfun hanging out with him recently and I want to avoid that, but I don’t want to make him like traumatized of prom or anything. Thank you!
Comments
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect are enforced on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or “trolling” comments will be removed (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods’ discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to help and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP’s parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed for any reason at all, no exceptions.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
In high school, after only a couple weeks of dating I broke up with my girlfriend the day after Valentine’s Day. Breakups are never good but I’m glad you’re being considerate of not just him but all of the friends as well. Go and enjoy your fun night and then tomorrow you can let them all know.
You don’t owe this clown prom if you aren’t enjoying your time. Mom says so.
It hardly matters tbh, you’re still gonna break up with him. It’s gonna feel bad for him regardless and probably still gonna taint his memory of the night if he knows you wanted to break up then but didn’t out of pity.
Break up now, the day after, whatever. I’d prefer before personally. It would feel very disrespectful and I would rather decide to make alternative plans with a friend or some other girl or go to another party or whatever.
Hey! So I broke up with my highschool ex 2 weeks before prom. He never got to go to his own prom & I felt really really bad at the time bc he got his suit but I’m really glad I did it. I had so much fun at prom and it would have been horrible if I went with him
Break up. Pretending to keep other people happy when you’re not is stupid. You probably will never see him again anyway.
You can be honest and let him know what you’re feeling and that you’d still like to go to prom with him and all your friends. This way he knows and you guys can still make memories with the gang. Also, opt out of the couples pic so it’s not weird. You got this kid!
The next day. Don’t wait.
Now. You know you’re done. Don’t drag this out and just play along. It’s not good to play with someone’s emotions. You’re done so end the relationship now, yesterday, last week, whenever you knew.
Being an uninterested, unengaged, wet blanket, unauthentic prom date will ruin his night as well.
If you cancel now, he can go with others, by himself, find a new date, etc.
you should break up with him before prom if you dont even like hanging out with him.
2 weeks
The sooner the better. Prom will be ruined even if it’s retroactive. At least if it’s in advance there’s a chance of salvaging something for yourself and for everyone else involved. You deserve not to ruin your own prom! He deserves to not remember going to prom with someone that was just waiting to dump him.
Gradual fade is the best way.
Go to prom, enjoy, keep it pleasantly neutral.
Day after prom: He texts, you say you’re tired. Preferably just the one word. Because you ARE tired. Of him, LOL.
Next day, same. Keep it to the absolute minimum, like a single emoji. Then, around day 4, don’t text back.
Don’t know how well he takes hints, but if he gets it right away, you’re golden. Otherwise, next time you communicate with a mutual friend, you can say, “Everyone knew we were having problems…why draw things out? Time to move on.” And then change the subject. He will get the msg soon enough. I trust he has his head on straight and won’t go the drama route. Good luck.
Just do it now. It’s honestly not that much better to find out your boyfriend/girlfriend was only waiting until after an important event to break up with you—still ruins the event and he’ll just remember that you were staying with him to be polite. This is assuming he’s overall a nice, safe guy and you’re just not clicking anymore? Which can happen in high school, it’s not a huge deal.
Going to offer a unique perspective as someone who got dumped right before prom (well, it was actually much worse than just that, but that’s a long story) and say that it’s… not great, but there is never a good time to dump someone, so whether it ruins his night will depend on his own attitude, and that’s not within your control. I let it ruin the whole thing for me because I was a very dramatic teenager, but it’s also better to do it sooner so that he can make different plans or find another date if he wants to.
Just do it now. It’s easier. Maybe he’ll let loose and have a wild prom night to cope or something. But you also deserve a good prom night and hanging around someone you don’t want to be around ruins that.
3 days to be safe.
If you are feeling this way odds are he is too. For some, prom is a right of passage and can’t be missed. For others, not so much. I would encourage you to consider being honest with him for both your sakes, and likely avoiding a blow up at prom.
If you don’t hate him and think you can do it I think the move would be to have a talk let him know hey I don’t think we should be together anymore because of xyz but I still would be down to be your prom date and then it’s up to him if he wants to let it ruin the plan or not.
Just don’t take it personally if his reaction is immature. But you deserve to not be in a relationship if you don’t want to be.
And the biggest thing to always remember, it’s just high school! Legit in 3 years you will look back the same way you look back on 8th grade lol
Good luck, have fun, be safe!
You’re being a people pleaser and that’s not a great habit. It’s your prom night too and if you go with him, he will expect you to be with him. You deserve to go and have fun. Sitting him down and telling him you’re incompatible and are not interested in continuing a relationship will be more beneficial to both of you. You might even decide to still go together, however, the expectations will be different. You should not go to prom with him in these current circumstances though, even if it will hurt him.
Prom is not here yet. Your friends will get over it. If they don’t, they weren’t even your friends. He will also be fine. Delaying this is the wrong move.
In highschool a girl cheated on her bf and he dumped her before prom and everyone in the school turned on him and he went from popular to being bullied over night. He turned into an a**hole though, and he treated women like crap as an adult, so don’t feel bad for him.
The thing is, it’s high school and it doesn’t really matter. You’ll never see most of those people again when you move on with your life. Do what makes you happy. He’s going to resent you for dumping him no matter when you do it. Even adult men do it, they act like you’re evil for leaving— and the abusive men do it even more.
If you’re worried about him associating it with prom, wait a few weeks if that’s really what you want…
But no matter what he’s gonna act like you’re the bad guy for breaking up.
That said, if the relationship is forced and you don’t want to be around him he’s gonna notice, and you’re going to have a bad prom experience hanging out with someone you don’t want to. You’d be better off not having him spend any money on prom and breaking up beforehand, being honest that the feelings just aren’t there.
I think you’re good if you wait a few days to a week after prom