I went to 1 event recently that was a walking meet up. I talked to one person eventually but it was mainly couples there.
The second event was from a group I found online and they met for drinks. A lot of people showed up and I really struggled to fit into the conversation which sucks! I feel like maybe I’m awkward?
There’s one I really wanna join which is a volunteer food distribution thing and then the group goes to get drinks or food after. I think this one may be smaller so it can be easier to talk to people?
I’m tryin to make new friends but I worry I’m a bit awkward and sometimes when people already come with others i don’t wanna bother them. I went up to a group of people and said „hey,, and they didn’t say much so I need a better approach. Also I have school sometimes when these groups meet so I come a bit late which also may be causing me to not interact. Idk?? I’m trying to focus on my degree too but I don’t wanna wait indefinitely for that.
Today something was going on in my area but I didn’t make it because I’m trying to finish a research paper and I’m feeling a bit guilty about it. I also want to volunteer to branch out not to just make friends
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Just cut straight through the gordian knot. “I’m OP, nice to meet you. I’m trying to make new friends while I’m here, any chance you like (name a few things you’re into)?” It’s awkward, but meeting people is always awkward so I think it’s best to get it out in the open.
Giving genuine compliments is also a good opener, but the rule is to always compliment something the person has control over. I like your shoes, i like your tattoo, I like your hoodie. Not i like your hair – i like your haircut is okay if they’ve got a genuinely cool haircut or if they’ve got blue or green hair you can compliment that, but only if its clearly an unnatural colour. Ideally you use the compliment as a conversational segue. “Cool boots, do you hike? I hiked up to see the waterfall last weekend and I saw a bear.” That gives you a compliment, an intro question about them, and displays a potential source of common ground along with an interesting anecdote they can follow up on.
“I’m new here, do you like this group?” works too. You establish that you’re new, that you value their opinion, and give them a chance to engage in conversation.
Once you successfully converse with someone, if you feel like they might be a good match friend wise, at the end of the activity catch them and say something like “I enjoyed talking to you. Straight up, I came here hoping to make some friends. If you ever want to hang out, I like to grab coffee at this cool coffee shop/I hit the skate park on Tuesdays/I’m looking for someone to do an escape room with/etc. Would you be down for that?” It’s taking an emotional and social risk, but you’re being honest, a little vulnerable, clarifying that you want friends not romance or to lure people into a cult, and offering up some possible activities that give them a sense of how you like to socialize.
It won’t work every time, but it will work sometimes