My close friend and her girlfriend broke up a while ago — toxic relationship, long story. I was there for her like a good friend, but then things shifted. She kissed me on the cheek one night, and suddenly we were cuddling, holding hands, kissing on the cheeks — all soft, affectionate stuff. It wasn’t lust, it felt like something more. And yeah, I fell for her. Hard.
But then her ex popped back in the picture, and two days later, everything changed. I felt the distance immediately. I talked to her about how I felt, and she said “we don’t have a chance RIGHT NOW.” I respected it. Told her she doesn’t need to avoid me or act weird — if it gets too much, I’ll step aside quietly.
Since then, we still hang out. We go for smokes, walk to class together, I pick her up and drop her on my bike. It’s chill, we’ve got mutual friends, so we’re often in groups too. But I’m struggling. I can’t go back to just being a friend. After everything that happened, it’s impossible to act like it meant nothing. I want to love her — not publicly or loudly — just naturally. But I’m constantly holding back, and it’s exhausting. I don’t know what to do anymore.
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I think you were her “rebound.” after the ex came back she quickly “dropped” you and went back to the ex. I think she was being affectionate towards you because maybe she was lonely, etc and you were there with open arms.
My only idea of moving on is to distance yourself from her as a friend. Idk how you can move on from liking/ wanting to be with someone if you constantly hangout with them. I don’t think you guys will ever be in a relationship.