I come from a broken home. Ive seen dysfunctional marriages.
The topic of marriage came up before in my past relationships and i couldn’t bring myself to be happy or excited.
But dread. I dreaded the idea of being passed off with another mans name. I dread the idea of giving a man children he doesn’t want so he gets a participation trophy from other men. I dread connecting in relationships knowing it’ll likely lead to both of these and i hate being just a product to the majority. Like dating apps feel like putting up a “fresh meat” sign over my head knowing most would just settle for me bc of my looks.
I was never enough for them as a child so what difference does it make as an adult. Honestly ive never seen myself living past 20 but here i am at 26 just kindof drifting through life. And i enjoy the peace a little too much.
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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the peace. I also do, but I try to remember to leave that question unanswered, open ended if you will. Don’t close yourself off to the possibility if it’s something you truly want