Is it normal that people in the south ( just moved here) say hi and talk to my mom but basically ignore my existence except if my mom says “ this is my daughter”?
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Oof… If we want to be as generous as possible, it could be something to do with people relating most strongly to people their own age. Were the people who did this all your mother’s age or older? Or were some your age, too? If the latter, it sounds more like sexism, agism, or a combo of the two.
I.. will prefix the rest of the post with the fact that I am from the north, have some friends from the south, and a lot of my knowledge of the south comes from them complaining about their most irritating relatives.
There’s an attitude that is far from universal in the south, but is more common there than elsewhere — one where children are basically just belongings / accessories of their parents. You’ll see it most among people who are obsessed with appearances, and especially with how one’s actions reflect on the rest of the family. The most respect and attention goes to the matriarch or patriarch of the family, who can speak on behalf of junior members of the family. It’s rude to ignore the highest-authority family-member present, in favor of any other ones who may be present. Also women may be junior to all men who aren’t 40 years younger than them. Think of when you go shopping with a boyfriend and the salesmen only talk to him, not you – it’s that shit.
When dating in the south (if relevant), also watch out for man-children. The kind of guys who don’t do “women’s work”, and will helplessly stare at their own laundry or lack of dinner, blame you for not doing it, then purposefully do it as maliciously badly as possible until you ‘save’ them, and again blame you for ‘making’ them ruin things. These are also not universal in the south, but are more common there than elsewhere. I have multiple friends with very regrettable southern stepdads. This is very difficult to train someone out of, and they are often unwilling to learn, so if you meet someone like this, consider it to be a permanent personality trait until you have direct evidence to the contrary.
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Probably depends on what you look like vs what your mom looks like. Old lady clothes = approachable. Goth clothes = non approachable (except to kids).
Oof… If we want to be as generous as possible, it could be something to do with people relating most strongly to people their own age. Were the people who did this all your mother’s age or older? Or were some your age, too? If the latter, it sounds more like sexism, agism, or a combo of the two.
I.. will prefix the rest of the post with the fact that I am from the north, have some friends from the south, and a lot of my knowledge of the south comes from them complaining about their most irritating relatives.
There’s an attitude that is far from universal in the south, but is more common there than elsewhere — one where children are basically just belongings / accessories of their parents. You’ll see it most among people who are obsessed with appearances, and especially with how one’s actions reflect on the rest of the family. The most respect and attention goes to the matriarch or patriarch of the family, who can speak on behalf of junior members of the family. It’s rude to ignore the highest-authority family-member present, in favor of any other ones who may be present. Also women may be junior to all men who aren’t 40 years younger than them. Think of when you go shopping with a boyfriend and the salesmen only talk to him, not you – it’s that shit.
When dating in the south (if relevant), also watch out for man-children. The kind of guys who don’t do “women’s work”, and will helplessly stare at their own laundry or lack of dinner, blame you for not doing it, then purposefully do it as maliciously badly as possible until you ‘save’ them, and again blame you for ‘making’ them ruin things. These are also not universal in the south, but are more common there than elsewhere. I have multiple friends with very regrettable southern stepdads. This is very difficult to train someone out of, and they are often unwilling to learn, so if you meet someone like this, consider it to be a permanent personality trait until you have direct evidence to the contrary.