Okay so this is abit wordy and I wasn’t sure if to add this to the advice reddit or this one, but I’m not sure what advice would be wise to seek on this over reddit
Back story – me (m30) and my partner (f30) have been together for 10 years and have a child together, due to a mix of reason I’ve felt things have really slowed down for us lately, I don’t get much real conversation, when I do talk she’s often distracted, and has some form of technology in her hand at all times. Intimacy between us has become very limited too. I’ve tried to talk this out but always met with the standard “you only think about sex there’s more than just sex” (the latter of which I stress enough myself). I’ve also been told that since work has changed and I now have more time at home, I’m around too much, this led to me arranging a catch up with one of my best friends (f) recently. This catch up was just that, a get together of 2 friends talking about life with nothing really interesting to note, it was refreshing to have a face to face chat and no phones in hands, full attention and to feel listened too. She did at one point bring up that her own friends found our friendship weird and that “if they were [my] partner they’d be weirded out by me going round” which she had said she’d stressed she has a lot of love and respect for us both. The conversation also shifted to sex lives and laughing thet neither of us considered ourselves vanilla when it came to preference. The topic of whether we think my partner did ever wonder if there was anything between us came up but I shrugged this off that I’ve said before I’d not date anyone who was a best friend first as this has gone wrong in the past. I’ve always really seen this friend and one of those “what if” romances secretly, but I’ve never been sure the feeling is mutual, normally just convincing myself and hint of such is just me looking too deep. But I’m at a loss what to do, it feels unfair to everyone involved, am I just bored at a crossroads in my relationship and seeking some excitement? Is it time to think about the end? Do I just need to phone a therapist again?