My oldest is almost 6 so we’re not at this point in life yet… but honestly, I’m holding out until at least highschool. And even then, they won’t have full access to whatever they want. Social media and the internet is not always a good thing! Especially for children.
My oldest is 9 and I’m beginning to consider something that I have the ability to restrict certain access with. They’ve been getting a friend circle at school and they spend weekends at a grandparents house so having a separate way to communicate I think would be ok now. When I was his age, I was online with no monitoring in public chatrooms so I think giving him access to external communication with selected people is ok. Hard content restriction on the browsers. Pre-approval for app downloads. I think 9-10 is a good age to introduce internet safety and how to balance phone use with daily life. Also how to use the phone as a tool and to identify misinformation.
I know a kid who has had her own iPhone since she was 4 with unlimited use and no restrictions, and my kid will not have one for many more years. Maybe one of those Jitterbug phones meant for the elderly at some point, but no smartphone until she is nearly an adult. No good will come of it if she gets one sooner in my experience.
Rule of thumb for us is, if you’re not old enough to leave the house without an adult then you don’t need a phone.
My youngest is 12 and he has one. We live in a small town so we’re comfortable with him going out. But we do want a way for him to contact us in case of anything. He doesn’t have social media though
When my kid was 9 she had a traumatic thing happen at summer camp (she broke her arm and staff told her she was fine and needed to stop being so dramatic and then refused to let her call her parents). After that she was afraid of being at school and other activities without a parent around and we had to do a ton of work to get her to a place where she felt she could trust other adults to listen to her when she brings a real problem to them.
So, we got her a phone, it was a basic flip phone with zero internet ability, all it can do is call and text. The phone stayed in her backpack and was only for emergencies and it worked really well. She’d call a parent if she was anxious about something and we would coach her through talking to a teacher or other grown up about it. She never used the phone inappropriately and after about a year she felt comfortable not having the phone with her anymore so we discontinued it.
So basically what I’m saying here is that if there is a real reason for having a phone then it makes sense to get one. But a kid simply wanting a phone isn’t a real reason. It’s a case by case sort of thing, the phone is a tool, what will that tool be used for and how will it be managed? Every kid, family, and situation is different so there’s no one right age I don’t think.
Once they start going places on their own, they should have a phone. It can be a crappy flip “dumb” phone, but they need a way to contact you.
For our daughter, that age was 11. That’s when we started dropping her off at the mall with friends, etc. We just wiped an old phone of mine and gave it to her; it worked fine.
Middle school, so 11-12 for us. Just to be able to communicate after school rides and whatnot. My 5th grader has an old phone but it’s not hooked up to service.
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My oldest is almost 6 so we’re not at this point in life yet… but honestly, I’m holding out until at least highschool. And even then, they won’t have full access to whatever they want. Social media and the internet is not always a good thing! Especially for children.
How old are you?
My oldest is 9 and I’m beginning to consider something that I have the ability to restrict certain access with. They’ve been getting a friend circle at school and they spend weekends at a grandparents house so having a separate way to communicate I think would be ok now. When I was his age, I was online with no monitoring in public chatrooms so I think giving him access to external communication with selected people is ok. Hard content restriction on the browsers. Pre-approval for app downloads. I think 9-10 is a good age to introduce internet safety and how to balance phone use with daily life. Also how to use the phone as a tool and to identify misinformation.
I know a kid who has had her own iPhone since she was 4 with unlimited use and no restrictions, and my kid will not have one for many more years. Maybe one of those Jitterbug phones meant for the elderly at some point, but no smartphone until she is nearly an adult. No good will come of it if she gets one sooner in my experience.
Rule of thumb for us is, if you’re not old enough to leave the house without an adult then you don’t need a phone.
My youngest is 12 and he has one. We live in a small town so we’re comfortable with him going out. But we do want a way for him to contact us in case of anything. He doesn’t have social media though
When my kid was 9 she had a traumatic thing happen at summer camp (she broke her arm and staff told her she was fine and needed to stop being so dramatic and then refused to let her call her parents). After that she was afraid of being at school and other activities without a parent around and we had to do a ton of work to get her to a place where she felt she could trust other adults to listen to her when she brings a real problem to them.
So, we got her a phone, it was a basic flip phone with zero internet ability, all it can do is call and text. The phone stayed in her backpack and was only for emergencies and it worked really well. She’d call a parent if she was anxious about something and we would coach her through talking to a teacher or other grown up about it. She never used the phone inappropriately and after about a year she felt comfortable not having the phone with her anymore so we discontinued it.
So basically what I’m saying here is that if there is a real reason for having a phone then it makes sense to get one. But a kid simply wanting a phone isn’t a real reason. It’s a case by case sort of thing, the phone is a tool, what will that tool be used for and how will it be managed? Every kid, family, and situation is different so there’s no one right age I don’t think.
Once they start going places on their own, they should have a phone. It can be a crappy flip “dumb” phone, but they need a way to contact you.
For our daughter, that age was 11. That’s when we started dropping her off at the mall with friends, etc. We just wiped an old phone of mine and gave it to her; it worked fine.
Middle school, so 11-12 for us. Just to be able to communicate after school rides and whatnot. My 5th grader has an old phone but it’s not hooked up to service.
My daughter is about to turn 11. We are thinking of getting her something soon. She’s doing activities, and she needs a way to call for pick up.
Ours was 13. Up to the parents and how responsible the child is.