Some years ago my sister told me my dad (not her dad. Same mom) had done some inappropriate things when she was an adolescent. My mom has also admitted to knowing about some inappropriate Internet searches in the past from my father.
This was always hard for me to believe because we’ll, nothing was done to me by him. I brought this up to my therapist. We talked and then came to a revelation that makes me kind of sick to my stomach. I got beat a lot for things that were normal. Leaving bras around or underwear in the bathroom. The first time I got caught watching an adult HBO show I got pretty badly punished.
So I’m sure everyone might understand where we ended up. Which is the potential my dad did have the so feelings for me but because I was his daughter it was a line for him, so it made him angry and punish me instead. The idea of this is making me spiral and I’m not sure how to process it. I don’t have a ton of support besides my best friend and husband. And they don’t even know how to take this information.
I’m so overwhelmed.
Comments
What happened hasn’t changed. It was always this way, you just didn’t know.
None of this is your fault. Most people don’t develop feelings for their daughters if they see their underwear or bras lying around. Lots of kids watch adult HBO shows. The problem here is your dad, not you.
It’s normal (and I would say healthy) to be squicked out by someone having incestuous feelings about you. All known human cultures have taboos concerning incest.
Sure, it wasn’t overtly sexual, but he did take out his (sexual) frustrations by beating you. Abuse is abuse. I’m sorry this happened to you and your family. It’s going to take time to process this, but now you know about it and can start the process.