A lot of elderly folks say that they’re waiting to die or that they even want to die. Not all of them of course, but I imagine there’s a lot who’ve come to terms and have accepted that death is inevitable and likely to soon happen (depending on their condition and circumstances).
What influences this readiness and acceptance? Their condition, like if they have a lot of medical issues might be enough to push them to think that death would be better, but any other thoughts?
It’s an interesting concept to live a long life and just be content with death and no longer afraid, but maybe even inviting it or hoping it happens sooner than later.
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Dementia. All my dementia residents have told me at least once they want to die or have asked me to kill them
Illnesses and loneliness are probably two of the biggest factors.
Lmao this isnt exclusive to the elderly.
You must have a relatively happy life… God bless you.
In march 2017, I was told that I had a 5% chance of surviving til my birthday in September.
The first 2 weeks were horrific, I was a mess. But after that, I started to become comfortable with the idea of dying. I wasn’t going to do anything to reduce my chances of surviving, but I also wasn’t going to spend the last few months of my life a depressed mess.
I suffered a haemorrhagic stroke in my basal ganglia in July 2017, which caused permanent damage to my body, but I’m fucking glad I’m alive. While in hospital following the stroke I ended up taking part in a drug trial that changed my life and not only stopped that damage to my vascular system that was making my veins disintegrate (basically), but it also reversed the damage that had already occurred.
Death is as much a part of life as being born.
Hi, I worked with the elderly quite a bit for a few years and from what I’ve witnessed, the depression really comes on when they lose the ability to live the life they once had. I took care of an old farmer whose entire life consisted of plowing his fields, tending his cattle, and driving through his land to remember old times (it was a century-old family owned plot of land). The older he became the less he was able to do physically and soon his grandsons were doing the work for him. There even came a point in time where his license was taken away and he lost the ability to drive. I watched the light drain from him, so I did all I could to help by driving him around his property and asking for story after story, taking him out to see his farm dog and cat, even driving through the field so he could check the water trough and feed the cows treats.
When he ended up in a nursing home it became so much worse for him. I could still check him out to take him for drives, but he wasn’t sleeping in his bed any more, wasn’t in the habitat he’d literally grown up in and worked to maintain his entire life. He lost hope, began sleeping all the time, talked about just wanting it to be over. He started to reminisce about times with passed loved ones, mourning his past life.
It’s frustrating to get older or get to a place where you physically lose the ability to live a life you’ve grown so accustomed to. The more you lose, the more you fight and fail, the more you just want to give up and die. He felt useless because he couldn’t tend the farm-all he did was “sit and eat and bitch” as he said.
Hope this helped at all.
Wait until you are 40 and tired every day. You wake up just to work. By the time you get home you are so tired you just want to go straight to bed, but you can’t, there’s more work to do. You get older, and finally retire. Time to live the good life huh?
Nope sorry. Everything that you considered fun is gone or filled with screaming young people. So you just sit in the house, knitting or watching old movies. At some point you look around and wonder, what the fuck am I doing?
Chronic pain, all your friends and family are dead, the knowledge that there is no cure for aging and things will only get worse from there.
I’m not even elderly and life already sucks. Aches and pains and constant ailments that seem to hit you one after the other, plus everyone you love starts to slowly die off. I can see reaching a certain point where you’re just ready to check out already.
I can’t speak for the elderly, but some people are just wired like that. I have no fear of dying, I assume I have a good chunk of time left (I’m only in my early 30s) which maybe plays into it, but I think in large part I’m at peace with it because once it happens I won’t know.
I don’t believe in a god, or an afterlife – I don’t think I’m going to a utopia in the sky. I do believe in a transfer of energy, mostly I believe that there is nothingness. A void.
When your body stops working, your friends are all gone, your family has left, and you have nothing new to look forward to it’s really not surprising the elderly might want to opt out.
*looks around and gestures at everything*
Often can be brought on by the death of their significant other, where you may hear often times where one will die and the other may follow months/ a few years after. It’s likely just due to their own conditions, but fairly healthy and otherwise fit people sometimes die very shortly after.
I think it’s to do with the fact that grief is such a strong and morbid emotion, to the point where it can affect your physical health as well as your mental.
For the few elderly people I’ve known, it’s a little bit more like walking through the door in The Good Place. They were ready to die because they had made peace with any regrets, their families were near them, and they just had that legacy to look back on and know that their purpose there was done. They genuinely died in happiness.
When your only relief from pain & discomfort is sleep, permanent rest looks pretty inviting.
Pain, loneliness, degradation of quality of life
Being bed-ridden.
All my grandparents wanted to die the moment they couldn’t even stand up anymore, forced to spend the remaining months in bed.
“Acceptance of death” is something that every human being struggles with. Many eventually come to terms with it, some earlier than others.
Sometimes spiritual/religious beliefs help people find acceptance.
Other times, acceptance of the “finality” of it, and the “helplessness” to it can help people find acceptance.
Pain. No matter what you believe about death you know they’ll be no more pain.
I’ve been ready to die for years. I’m not seeking death, but I’ll be so relieved when I’m NOT anymore. Shit’s exhausting.
I’m 54 and life is brutal. The generation above me is all deceased and have lost so many friends. I know I’ll be ready when it’s my time.
I know this is shocking to some, but not everyone wants to live as long as possible. If you drew good cards, then great. But life is suffering for many who are young and old, and the vague hope that things get better isn’t going to cut the mustard for them. Some people just don’t want to be here anymore, and this is valid.
My grandfather was ready. His wife died the day before their 60th anniversary, his friends were gone, and his siblings too. He wasn’t as fit as he used to be, couldn’t do what he used to enjoy. He had his children and grandchildren that visited often, but he worried that he was becoming a burden. He was assured he wasn’t, but it doesn’t change how you feel. He was ready for years before he went.
If you look at realistically, if you’re like 85 years old, you’re probably not going to live another 50 years. You’ve lived a long life. In a literal sense, yeah. That’s clear. But in a sense that has been rewarding or fulfilling, that’s up to you.
If you feel like you’ve lived a good life, accomplished all you could, and feel like you could go out today and tomorrow 10 years from now on the same high note then that’s gotta be a positive. If you feel like you’ve wasted your time and life in any regard for things that didn’t benefit you, then why not welcome death like an old friend even more?
Idk but I’ve already died once but the docs were able to get my heart going again and got me back to breathing so I figured if I’ve done it before it won’t be that bad to do it again. Death is easy, it’s the part between birth and death that’s hard.
I work with the elderly and honestly? I think they just get excited about it. They look forward to death the way you looked forward to graduating high school.
Think about it. You’re 98, when was the last time you had a big life event come up that wasn’t your birthday? When was the last time you passed a major milestone that wasn’t just related to everyone being impressed with how old you are? When you retired? Whatever it was, it’s probably been a hell of a long time. But you’ve got a big one coming up now, the last big one, in fact. That’s kind of exciting, when the last time you celebrated a major achievement was yet another wedding anniversary
My grandfather was 97 when he passed. He had gotten really down at one point because he was like all my friends have died. He’s like I feel like I’m too old to be making new friends.
My dad died 2 weeks ago. He was 98. He was just really tired. He didn’t have the same quality of life due to his health issues, his wife was gone, most of his friends were gone. He just felt ready to go.
Most working class people ready to die too lol, it’s just a symptom of late stage capitalism. Being old is not good for profits in America!
You know that feeling of being really tired and wanting to close your eyes and sleep? The prospect and anticipation of it feels so good. Something along those lines.
Many comments here rationalize the acceptance as a consequence of suffering, pain, lonelyness, etceteras. For them, death may seem like a ‘way out’. There are many elderly just end-of-life and that is how I read OP’s question.
Pain and tiredness. My darling nan had managed with back and hip pain for years but she got to a point where she’d just had enough. Last time I saw her she told me she was ready to go. She had simply had enough. The “manageable ” pain hadn’t increased, it had simply become too much. She died a few days later.