Idek where to begin. I just feel like trash. I feel to stupid for college, too confused for therapy, to needy for a relationship. And I have nobody to be vulnerable to.
I really really really want a relationship. I’m 19m in college and I’ve been trying so ridiculously hard to be more appealing, yet nothing I try works. Not a single thing. That’s the one thing missing in my life right now and it’s making me feel really bad by not having one. Everybody else has their person and they always have that one person they can open up to and just talk about life with. And sure I do that with my friends but I need something more romantic than just buddies. All I need is someone to cuddle at night. Someone to talk to about everything and nothing and have them actually want to hear me talk and help me. But I can’t find that for the life of me. And I’m trying, I really really am. I’m doing all the basic advice and then more personalized things my friends have told me. But even then they started to stop responding to my texts. My one online friend keeps reading my messages but then never responds. Idk if she’s ignoring me or is having person problems but idk what to say. I think I’m just gonna ask if she’s okay and pray she responds with some sort of answer cuz it’s been days. And that’s not helping me feel any better because now I feel even worse because I’m scared she doesn’t wanna talk anymore.
Yeah idek I just desperately need someone to be intimate with but no matter what I do I can’t find that anywhere.
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It’s hard to find someone when you feel like shit, which sucks because you’re saying you feel like shit because you don’t have anyone. It sounds like you have a lot you want to talk about, that’s actually something a therapist would be great for. Or, keep reaching out on places like here. That way, you can have people to talk through the issues keeping you feeling like shit and unable to meet a partner.
How are your grades?