I have very noticeable self harm scars on both arms that I don’t make an effort to hide. I’m a dish washer at work and when people bring me a large knife they’re supposed to say “sharp knife” and put in a specific knife container. Today a cook brought me a knife and said “Sharp knife, be careful. I wouldn’t want you to cut yourself on your arm… haha”. I just laughed because I actually thought it was pretty funny. I know it’s considered rude to mention self harm scars but I don’t mind talking about them. This same coworker once saw a bandaid on my finger and asked “is it as bad your arms?” When I told him I accidentally cut it on a knife.
At almost every single job I’ve had, at least one coworker has mentioned my self harm scars. The funniest was when a guy once pointed at my arm and said “Is that one for every person you’ve killed?” I just said “yes” in a deadpan voice and another coworker started cracking up.
Comments
Funny stuff is funny, although I guess having heard the jokes multiple times might get annoying. I love me some banter/roasting some people are funny af
I once had a tattoo artist doing a cover up say ‘oh, this hurts?” And I had to take a break from how hard I laughed
honestly its pretty funny lol, ive been called “firefighter” because or my burn scars, its always felt inevitable that someone would eventually make a joke of it because its so noticeable.. and it honestly feels nice to not to be pitied lol
I worked in restaurants for 20 yrs and they are great for just equalizing everybody. You could dead pan walk up to someone using a potato peeler, hold out your arms and claim you’re a cautionary tale. Stay safe.
Most of mine aren’t visible. And the ones that would be I’ve faded pretty well throughout the 30+ years when they happened. You can still see them. They just aren’t as noticeable. Im not ashamed. They tell part of my story. And if that hell can help someone else, then it’s worth it.
But a sense of humor helps. A lot.
When you have a strong enough friendship for them to be confident they won’t be hurting your feelings, I think it’s good to be able to tease each other or use humour. Clearly in your case it’s very evident that you enjoy that humour and openess.
Another person with similar scars may react very differently and that’s OK too.
As long as you aren’t feeling mocked, bullied or uncomfortable it’s all good!
that comeback was gold pure dark humor mastery!
I lost a finger in an industrial accident and most of the time if someone mentions it I just tell them I’m waiting for it to grow back or sometimes I’ll come up with a much cooler story.
I used to be really conscious about it.
It’s funny though, some people are asking five seconds after meeting and others figure it out after years.
Gosh, I am not really sure how I would feel about someone making those kind of jokes. I mean…I cover all of my skin, for the purpose of hiding my own scars. The only people who have really seen them, I guess, are lovers & medical staff – neither really discusses it. My small niece has once mentioned them – I said that it was a naughty cat who scratched me. Which she obviously accepted and moved on with her life.
They nailed making a joke without making you the joke
hi
i was working at uno in high school
This is like thst one kid in school who thinks the popular kids is laughing with him instead of at him.
If I were you I’d be having their bodies contorted because I’d be extremely offended but idk how you do it I don’t have scars so idk what it’s like.
I have those scars, too, on my entire left arm, lower right arm and thighs. The amount of comments I received for those could fill an entire book, from all kinds of people in all kinds of tones and intentions.
As long as they’re kind and open about it, I gladly answer their questions. Joking is also okay, just please be mindful. I don’t mind open curiosity at all.
Best encounter I had was while I still was in school. Was about to buy something to eat as a kid several grades below me asked about them, and even wanted to touch!
It always throws me for a loop whenever someone asks about the scars. I mean, you can’t explain the whole story in the span of a minute and I doubt people really want to know either. But I’m ADHD so I have the whole conversation in my head and by the time I actually say something out loud an uncomfortable silence has passed. Blurt out something dismissive and try to escape.
Look at victor zaaz over here
The first one would not be amusing to me but that last one was pretty good
I’ve got those kind of scars too, all down my lower arm. They’re pretty obvious to me, though they’re old and faded. The only time anyone has made comments was when they were mistaking the scars for something else. Once someone mistook them for an allergic reaction. Another time someone thought they were a work injury (I work in vet med).
Otherwise, no one comments, and I’m glad for that, because I still carry shame related to what I did to myself nearly ten years ago.
I work in a kitchen and I remember this one guy who’s arms were just covered in cuts. We called him Slap Chop and he thought it was the funniest shit ever
Kitchen people have a sick sense of humor and I’m all for it.
being able to accept yourself and look at it in a lighter perspective is therapeutic.
My friend is a wheelchair user and the best pickup line she ever got was getting called a “meal on wheels.” We still bust up at that one
Even though you said that you think it’s funny, I would never bring it up without your permission and never would I joke about it. That’s because I would dishonor myself by doing so and I wouldn’t be giving you the respect and common decency you deserve. Other than that, it’s your life, you decide.
I have high fixed my self harm scars with my co workers, I feel like it’s pretty deranged but I’ve had them for so long it’s kinda whatever
I’m glad you can find humor in your scars, after the fact. My sister has very obvious self harm scars on both arms as well, and while she no longer feels compelled to hide them, I doubt she’d be able to enjoy any levity about them.
I think getting to a place where one can be humorous about past pain is an important step toward healing. Good work!
I think it’s pretty sweet that my colleagues are trying to keep you in this topic in such a funny way, but I still think that if people didn’t talk a lot it would be better 😹 Come on, a person lives in his own body every day and of course he sees what’s wrong with his hands, why he feels awkward doing it is his choice 🤨
Thank you for sharing this. My child is struggling with self harm, multiple unalive-attempts, and hospitalization. It is an absolute nightmare, but I am very grateful to read stories of folks that have successfully dealt with it. My kid is a middle-schooler, and middle schoolers are brutal with mental health vuneralbility.
Personally, I love people who are hard to offend. Black humor is the best type of humor.
I also have a bunch of self harm scars on both arms and have had them pointed out, and while I felt like I was being put on the spot I never felt offended. I think that to be offended I myself would have to feel some type of way about them, in reality I really don’t care about them. The only time I care about covering them is when I take my cat to the vet because I don’t want them to think my cat did that to me, cause it’s happened before and it felt really unfair and wrong. Otherwise, I’m kind of a freak and don’t mind it if people look, my minds like “Damn are u scared? hehehehe”
I have a colleague who has severe burn scars on her face. I never asked her about it and simply pretend there’s nothing. I don’t really have the confidence to make a joke about it.
Lmaooo that’s hilarious. I’d have said the same thing.
I covered mine up with a cherry blossom tattoo, it saves me so much stress about people seeing the scars
Lmfao that’s dark, I love it. My go-to is “oh yeah, I got in a fight with a bear.”
I made a dark joke about wishing my pen was a knife to cut my wrists in work and the person I said it to is covered in scars up her arm. I was so embarrassed when I realised she maybe thought that’s why I said it but I used to self harm and I have such a dark sense of humour I always say things like that. I am praying she doesn’t think it was regarding her 😭😭
I think it’s funny when my coworkers who I have a rapport with joke about them, it’s when customers ask I’m like uhhhhhhh no
Love over fear. A well aimed wisecrack is good brotherly love.
As long as you’re comfortable with it, I think that’s great! I always feel happy for people who are able to joke around like that, I think it’s a sign of real growth and strength. Personally mine are on my upper arm so they’ve never gotten much attention. Only time anyone has made any comment was a nurse putting on a cuff to take my blood pressure who was shocked and said “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” And I just responded with “No, it’s okay! I’m in a much better place now.” But I don’t think I’m quite far removed enough from them to joke around about them. It’s still feels weird whenever I go the pool and they’re just on display like that for everyone to see.
There are scar removal silicone stickers that I used for a hand surgery, which made the scars completely disappear. If you don’t like the scars you could give those a try? I simply bought a roll from amazon