I have no reason to get married. I would only get married if I had children or wanted children with someone, but I do not. Unless children are involved, marriage just complicates everything else unnecessarily.
I’m more interested in wealth accumulation and I’m tired of being a good boyfriend and getting rugged every 8-16 months by women who treat me like a piece of meat for their sexual gratification.
All the women I dated in my 20s were completely unserious, whereas, I was completely serious about moving forward with the relationship, getting married, starting a family etc. A lot of them thought they could pull this off at 35 or something and treat their 20s like a joke. Time moves on. So do did I.
I want to have a house in at least two states. Don’t want to lose that to a divorce. In no way is that worth it.
I have a car collection already. It will expand to newer, more expensive cars. What does she have to offer me to make that our “community property?” Most of the time, nothing.
Edit: how some of you take from this that I’m an incel or a Tate fan, man, go outside. Completely wrong. I like women. Just not fucking marrying them because I like my money and property not being up for grabs in a divorce.
My wife and I were fine with being domestic partners for years but eventually, I could tell that she really wanted that official union. We got married and now pay more in taxes.
I genuinely feel awful for any guys that didn’t find their match early in life. If I didnt and had to date/look for marriage in todays climate Idek what id do. We’re cooked
I’m not giving up half of what I’ve worked for just to never be able to see my kids. If she is the one and doesn’t take the idea of a prenup too personally, then there’s no issue. But I see first hand way too often just how much men get fucked in divorce courts.
Two times in my life, I was positive that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I was with at the time. Both times would have been HUGE mistakes.
My current girlfriend has actually been married twice, and they both WERE huge mistakes.
So while we’re both very happy together and hoping that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together… we ain’t signing shit.
I’m not interested in spending years sacrificing for a woman, only to have her one day decide that she’s “not feeling fulfilled” and take half my stuff, leaving me emotionally and financially devastated.
I’ll let you know when I want to give someone else the power to take half my stuff. I’m also not planning on giving the government power to have any impact on my life either. Especially with the terrifying shift to authoritarian fascism here in the US.
Good men have so much to lose because women can just decide they’re done with the relationship when they want to try their luck with someone “better”, psychologically destroying the man who loves them and taking away half of what he worked his life for.
I like living alone. I don’t see myself ever getting married. I lived with roommates way too long. Unless we could come to some arrangement where we each live in separate houses, probably not.
Why would any man want to get married. Literally no benefits and brunt of downside. Maybe if the rules change someday but as it stands, no man should sign that terrible legal document.
What value does it bring. I see little evidence of anyone being faithful to anything for more than a few moments. God forbid I want to break up, it’s gonna cost me half of my hard work. Zero incentive.
I’ve done it twice, both ended in divorce. Thought I was a good husband, but apparently not. Doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I should keep trying to see if I get better at it.
Edit to add: I also think it’s an outdated institution where we converted an old kind of f’d up property arrangement into a “bond of love” that for some reason involves a contract that is especially hard to dissolve and otherwise ends until death of one of the parties. Not really something I want to support, so I’m surprised looking back that I did it twice.
I’ve been married for three years and still i’m not interested in marriage. I love my husband but absolutely nothing changed about or relationship after we got married. Marriage is just a scam that costs a lot of money. You don’t need a piece of pepper from the government to validate your feelings for a person.
Feels archaic and unnecessary to me personally. I’m also not monogamous or hierarchical, and to me it’s a very hierarchical institution rooted more in property rights and social control than love.
Because I find the concept of signing a contract that means your partner cannot leave you without significant legal and financial pain to be creepy and controlling.
Better question is, why should a man be interested in marriage? Not much to gain from it. High risk of getting financially screwed and women initiate the vast majority of divorces.
But why would I? It is an absolutely foreign and archaic tradition for me, I have nothing to do with it and I have never had any interest in it, I don’t see why would I need a specific reason to not be interested in it. Why is anyone interested in marriage?
Wife cheated on me and got divorced. Next serious relationship cheated on me and started posting lies about me online. Every girl since has ghosted me when we plan dates. I’m fucking done
Wedding ain’t cheap, divorce ain’t cheap. If things don’t work out, everyone goes their separate ways easy. Don’t have to lose half my stuff in the process.
It doesn’t make sense to marry anymore. We’re currently in a culture of independence and a lot of women say they don’t need men. The sentiment is often reciprocated. Men & women no longer need to join their families to succeed, and it’s easier to advance as a solo person rather than a unit.
I’ve had 42 years to know who I am. And I like who I am. But there’s no way I’m hell I’d live with me. I’ve already had the “Let’s just be friends (with benefits)” conversation with myself. I wouldn’t want to bring anyone else into my mess. Wouldn’t be fair to them, or me.
I’m content to work on my hobbies, and focus on on my interests. And that’s enough.
Women initiate most divorces and men generally get screwed over financially the most – you’ve got a system that creates far too much risk for the average man as woman can just divorce him on a whim for no reason “i just don’t feel it anymore” , “i got bored”, etc
Look into having a Religious ceremony, exactly like a marriage, but not in a legal sense.
Spent my 20s slaving away and working my way up to a house and stable income alone.
I don’t really see a point in marrying someone and just sharing it all with someone who wasn’t there for the struggles and hard parts where I really could have used someone’s love and support.
I guess when i was a teenager i imagined working together with someone as a team and building a life with someone.
Yeah, it could have went badly and i know many stories where it went badly….
…I damn sure don’t know what could convince me to fall in love with someone at this point.
i grew up in a very broken home of a mother and father who argued a lot because of an older half brother instigating things. nearly 50 years the two of them have been together they are in their 70s they have divorced once seperated twice. now they hate each other but we are all disabled and have to lean on each other to make it. there is no love in this house.
as a young man when i joined the navy and women found me attractive all of a sudden i was all stoked……2 women i dated cheated me.
that was a very long time ago. i decided fuck it im ruing my life just fine on my own i dont need someone else to help me and im not intrested in romance.
im a disabled vetyeran with 0 friends no wheres to go. once my parents die im moving on too.
never had any kids im debt up to my eyeballs thanks to being a dumbass and going to art school and now in debt over 70k. i have more mental health issues than a school shooter. its good i didnt make any croch demons. the world is better off without my dna roaming the land.
Link is to the full story I posted years ago. I’m 11 years removed from that disaster & marriage is even more unappealing now after witnessing an endless cycle deteriorating marriages, devastating divorces, financial ruin, and custody battles.
I’m not religious (I endorse premarital sex), don’t want kids [no tax credits), and am free to walk away from failing relationships at will (and keep 100% of my property).
Larry David had a bit about this – who do you think has more freedom, the married man in America or single guy in communist Cuba? Single guy in Cuba. He can’t leave the country but he can leave the house whenever he wants!
I have no positive examples in my life that convince me it’s worthwhile. So many decades-long relationships that I’ve watched fall apart. Seems like the ones who go all the way are the odd ones out these days.
Also we’ve all been sold this lie that if you work hard and commit yourself to a job you’ll be taken care of and retire comfortably. It would truly take an idiot to still believe that in 2025.
So I hop around job to job, woman to woman, never commiting to anything because I’m too scared and it doesn’t feel like it’s a strategic choice. I’ll probably die broke and alone but honestly – whatever. Beats dying broke, alone and traumatized.
Married here, but for most guys what’s the appeal?
Marriage used to be a milestone for men. It was a step to get more. Now it’s a step to losing half of everything you own.
Why bother when girls have gotten too casual with sleeping with men? When women sleep on the first date, what more is there to get? What more is there to experience? You read the ending of the book before even starting the first chapter. This opens the door to thinking chemistry and compatibility is purely sexual when it’s much more.
Also the attitude of many men is why live with a nagger and critic and everything you do is wrong? The misandry is so common that men feel like they aren’t wanted and don’t even try anymore. It’s much more accepted for women to height shame men rather than men fat shaming women, even though body fat is more under your control. This is just one of many double standards that I believe keep my friends single. They are just working on their cars and stacking money.
My wife and I don’t like what’s going on between men and women and it’s definitely because of the degradation of dating culture, which women have more control over. Men have more control over commitment, so why even try if marriage brings nothing extra. Women are blaming men for this when women caused the horrible dating culture where they call the shots. It’s all fun and games and a power trip until it blows up into a social phenomenon like it is today.
Juice ain’t worth the squeeze. That being said, I still plan on marrying my gf soon, but I had to look outside of the “western world.” Not all women are trash, just western women. Traveling taught me that.
I enjoy being spontaneous with my decision making. A marriage is not ideal for this.
It just comes across as something codependent men do because they feel lonely. I’ve had like 5 girlfriends and I wouldn’t want to marry any of them 😅 also makes all that “the right one” talk look like just that. Talk.
Long marriages are probably inhabited by men who struggle with insecurity (who doesnt) and have accepted that woman as their lifetime problem.
I also haven’t had many good examples in my life, but anytime you catch a married man alone, away from his wife he takes that time to breathe away from her.
I refuse to give up or just give someone my independence because they offer sex sometimes.
I did it once. It was an extremely painful experience when it ended and it took years for me to rebuild my life. I don’t want anybody else to have the power to put me in that position again.
I’ve never had a example of a healthy marriage. My grandparents were married for Decades and fought constantly. My uncles and Aunts who were married seemed miserable and constantly fought with their spouses. My own parents still constantly fight over stupid crap and seem miserable together
Married here! Wouldn’t do it again, I’m happily married but looking at the concept of marriage there is absolutely no benefit to the man, it’s a full blown risk, she can come into my life with no money and leave with more than half of my assets. Even my 401k is at risk.
Marriage doesn’t make any sense financially as a Man, then don’t let her get pregnant, child support and alimony is ridiculous. She cheats and still gets to take everything. I lucked up with my wife but others I know aren’t so lucky. My co-worker told me his ex wife is getting his 401k, which is I think is crazy to me and unfair.
in my experiences, why bother? seems like extra work for little or no benefit.
i can already fuck any other consenting adult, and i don’t have to share my money, my stuff, or my hobbies. i don’t even have to live with other humans!
I like being able to live out of my backpack and jet set whenever I feel like it. People say that they’re all for that until your ADHD kicks in one night and you’re on a plane halfway around the world because why not. That’s when partners realize that you weren’t kidding that you literally will just up and vanish for months at a time at the drop of a dime.
Was raised non-religious. Marriage seemed like a weird quirk in being human. I agree with the overall idea and practice of nuclear family but disagree with a lot of the modern takes on it.
Essentially, if I met someone who wanted to be with me and felt that deep commitment, I am here to do the same. But we don’t need a massive ceremony costing x amount, government forms, and whatever else. I’d like to make it our own and about us.
But I’m open to whatever my partner wants as well. Hence the being in a relationship and negotiation. As long as everyone’s happy, I’m happy.
There is nothing in it for the men anymore.
Unfortunately, in our society women give up everything a man wants before the marriage occurs. So if there is nothing else to gain why would men want to only get more responsibility on their shoulders? And plus, if a marriage ends, men are overwhelmingly more likely to get fucked
Rapid fire: I don’t support the tradition or legality of marriage as I understand it. I don’t support the idea of alimony. I don’t like expensive and frivolous weddings. I don’t like divorce rates. I am a child of divorce.
After some reflection, I decided I liked the idea of being promised to someone. Making a formal and symbolic commitment sounds nice, but I’d want it to be just us and a witness or facilitator in something like a hand binding ceremony. Hate the movie, but picture Braveheart when Mel Gibson marries his love in secret with the priest (to avoid prima nocta, but still).
Waste of money. A good relationship doesn’t need some kind of extravagant party to be solidified and I’m not religious either so I don’t care about that aspect.
Nowadays, marriage is a trap. It devolved from this glorious, sacred, beautiful thing, to this horrid, pointless, ugly excuse of what it once was. With not a single benefit for a man anymore. It’s just become a title for women to flaunt or just a way to destroy a man’s life. The courts usually side with women when it comes to divorce too. She can always lie and call him an abuser or she divorces him because she just got bored or had an affair. And then it’s still not guaranteed the resulting children from the marriage are even yours. So you could potentially be raising another man’s kids cause the wife just didn’t say anything. Or paying child support. There’s just no winning in it for men anymore.
I experienced enough divorce before I was an adult to realize the romantic aspect of marriage is a facade. I don’t want kids and I don’t strive for the ideal of the nuclear family. I don’t have a lot of money and don’t care to pursue that as a goal, and I don’t want to spend what I do have on a wedding. A ceremony and/or title doesn’t bolster the ideals of the day-to-day support, care, and sharing that I’d like to have with someone – consistency and good will would. Marriage isn’t necessary to recognize or codify those experiences (for me).
I’m in my mid 30s and I’ve been in multiple long term relationships that didn’t work out; some that involved cohabitation, some I truly thought were building towards a lifelong partnership. If I were to generalize on my shortcoming I would say I didn’t know myself well enough to recognize the ways I compromised my intentions to show up as a good partner. I think these kind of blind spots are relatively common for people to discover (or overlook) as they age. Sometimes these shortcomings are things you can work through with a partner, sometimes they illuminate differences you didn’t see before, sometimes you end up hurting someone, or being hurt by someone.
Rarely have I thought marriage would be helpful in navigating the process of relational discovery.
Marriage is an archaic religious ritual turned population increasing tool by the govt and ~90% of the marriages in my life have been, or are miserable. I’m not religious nor do I want to be miserable. If I find a partner where it’s important to them then fine, but I’m definitely not seeking nor going to expect marriage from any relationship.
I’ve got my life just the way I want it: clean house all to myself, very comfortable finances, peace and quiet. I can lift and read books to my heart’s content.
For me it’s about not being in a relationship in general, let alone marriage
Comments
Wedding aren’t cheap
No fuckin way I’m doing that again
Marriage in the 21st century is basically a scam.
Well, what’s the appeal of it?
its a recipe for divorce
Because we’ve been married for over 30 years.
I have no reason to get married. I would only get married if I had children or wanted children with someone, but I do not. Unless children are involved, marriage just complicates everything else unnecessarily.
What’s more romantic than bringing the government into your relationship?
I think it’s because they have not been shown the happiness in married life.
seems like a lot of work.
joking, not joking
Its a way for a woman to take half your wealth until you die.
Women marry for the divorce and alimony. There is no positive for men
I can’t afford anything besides bare necessities for survival.
By the time I was 18 my dad was on his 3rd marriage and my mom was on her 4th. My childhood was unstable, unpredictable, and extremely unhappy.
Interested in hearing from a woman on this one?
I’m more interested in wealth accumulation and I’m tired of being a good boyfriend and getting rugged every 8-16 months by women who treat me like a piece of meat for their sexual gratification.
All the women I dated in my 20s were completely unserious, whereas, I was completely serious about moving forward with the relationship, getting married, starting a family etc. A lot of them thought they could pull this off at 35 or something and treat their 20s like a joke. Time moves on. So do did I.
I want to have a house in at least two states. Don’t want to lose that to a divorce. In no way is that worth it.
I have a car collection already. It will expand to newer, more expensive cars. What does she have to offer me to make that our “community property?” Most of the time, nothing.
Edit: how some of you take from this that I’m an incel or a Tate fan, man, go outside. Completely wrong. I like women. Just not fucking marrying them because I like my money and property not being up for grabs in a divorce.
My wife and I were fine with being domestic partners for years but eventually, I could tell that she really wanted that official union. We got married and now pay more in taxes.
Because it has a lot of costs.
1.) Probably an expensive ceremony.
2.) Most marriages end in divorce.
3.) I enjoy solitude and should I reach a point where I feel like I need time to myself, I can just take it. Because I’m not married.
4.) Prenup argument.
5.) You have to deal with the consequences of someone else’s bad choices.
Ive been married for 16 years and separated for 14 years.
Being cheated on with an extra piece of paper isn’t worth the trouble.
Did it once, didn’t work out. And I’m not doing it again!
I genuinely feel awful for any guys that didn’t find their match early in life. If I didnt and had to date/look for marriage in todays climate Idek what id do. We’re cooked
I have my own shit to deal with.
All the women wanted kids. I’m child free by choice.
im about that bachelor life, plus i have nothing lol
Marriage is more for the women anyways. Why risk half your assets?
I’m not giving up half of what I’ve worked for just to never be able to see my kids. If she is the one and doesn’t take the idea of a prenup too personally, then there’s no issue. But I see first hand way too often just how much men get fucked in divorce courts.
Two times in my life, I was positive that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I was with at the time. Both times would have been HUGE mistakes.
My current girlfriend has actually been married twice, and they both WERE huge mistakes.
So while we’re both very happy together and hoping that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together… we ain’t signing shit.
I’m not interested in spending years sacrificing for a woman, only to have her one day decide that she’s “not feeling fulfilled” and take half my stuff, leaving me emotionally and financially devastated.
I’ve seen it happen to too many guys. No thanks.
I’ll let you know when I want to give someone else the power to take half my stuff. I’m also not planning on giving the government power to have any impact on my life either. Especially with the terrifying shift to authoritarian fascism here in the US.
Good men have so much to lose because women can just decide they’re done with the relationship when they want to try their luck with someone “better”, psychologically destroying the man who loves them and taking away half of what he worked his life for.
“Why” is the answer.
I already lost half of my shit in one divorce. I’m not losing half of what I have left.
I like living alone. I don’t see myself ever getting married. I lived with roommates way too long. Unless we could come to some arrangement where we each live in separate houses, probably not.
Why would any man want to get married. Literally no benefits and brunt of downside. Maybe if the rules change someday but as it stands, no man should sign that terrible legal document.
Tried it twice , it wasn’t good for my health or finances.
What value does it bring. I see little evidence of anyone being faithful to anything for more than a few moments. God forbid I want to break up, it’s gonna cost me half of my hard work. Zero incentive.
I’d do it only for tax reasons
We got married for the tax benefits but neither of us particularly care about the institution of marriage or whatever.
After paying alimony and child support because she left me for some guy she met on the internet, I say no thanks to both. Never again.
I’ve done it twice, both ended in divorce. Thought I was a good husband, but apparently not. Doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I should keep trying to see if I get better at it.
Edit to add: I also think it’s an outdated institution where we converted an old kind of f’d up property arrangement into a “bond of love” that for some reason involves a contract that is especially hard to dissolve and otherwise ends until death of one of the parties. Not really something I want to support, so I’m surprised looking back that I did it twice.
Because I’d rather build peace than paperwork. If we’re solid, I don’t need a certificate to prove it — and if we’re not, no contract will save it.
I’ve been married for three years and still i’m not interested in marriage. I love my husband but absolutely nothing changed about or relationship after we got married. Marriage is just a scam that costs a lot of money. You don’t need a piece of pepper from the government to validate your feelings for a person.
I’m not gambling half of my stuff that someone will love me forever.
Because in today’s family courts men are guilty even if proven innocent.
Feels archaic and unnecessary to me personally. I’m also not monogamous or hierarchical, and to me it’s a very hierarchical institution rooted more in property rights and social control than love.
It’s the leading cause of divorce
Grandpa died at 54 of heart attack. Dad still alive, but his first was at 56.
I’m early 50s
Never found anyone, figure I’ll be dead in a couple more.
Found my happiness and don’t need “someone else to complete me”.
Baffles my codependent friends.
Ah well you see my friend, I’ve given up in life
Because I find the concept of signing a contract that means your partner cannot leave you without significant legal and financial pain to be creepy and controlling.
Better question is, why should a man be interested in marriage? Not much to gain from it. High risk of getting financially screwed and women initiate the vast majority of divorces.
Because it’s a lose lose from a man’s POV if things go badly
Been there. If I want pain and angst, I’ll hire a dominatrix – cheaper overall, temporary, and consensual. Plus, no lasting drama-trauma…
But why would I? It is an absolutely foreign and archaic tradition for me, I have nothing to do with it and I have never had any interest in it, I don’t see why would I need a specific reason to not be interested in it. Why is anyone interested in marriage?
Wife cheated on me and got divorced. Next serious relationship cheated on me and started posting lies about me online. Every girl since has ghosted me when we plan dates. I’m fucking done
Because I’m interested in staying single. Women are a hassle to me.
Same answer for every version of this question: three immediate family members, seven divorces. Why bring the government/ law into the break-up?
Wedding ain’t cheap, divorce ain’t cheap. If things don’t work out, everyone goes their separate ways easy. Don’t have to lose half my stuff in the process.
Interested in love, sure. Marriage, absolutely not. There’s no benefits I can find for a man to do this.
Because of the legal stuff.
It doesn’t make sense to marry anymore. We’re currently in a culture of independence and a lot of women say they don’t need men. The sentiment is often reciprocated. Men & women no longer need to join their families to succeed, and it’s easier to advance as a solo person rather than a unit.
Obvious reasons, really. Humans suck 🕺🪩
The potential reward is too small compared to the risk.
I’ve had 42 years to know who I am. And I like who I am. But there’s no way I’m hell I’d live with me. I’ve already had the “Let’s just be friends (with benefits)” conversation with myself. I wouldn’t want to bring anyone else into my mess. Wouldn’t be fair to them, or me.
I’m content to work on my hobbies, and focus on on my interests. And that’s enough.
Once was enough.
I’m older now, so a relationship where both parties have a good level of autonomy is preferred now.
Women initiate most divorces and men generally get screwed over financially the most – you’ve got a system that creates far too much risk for the average man as woman can just divorce him on a whim for no reason “i just don’t feel it anymore” , “i got bored”, etc
Look into having a Religious ceremony, exactly like a marriage, but not in a legal sense.
Because women leave after they watch few TikTok videos and then they take all of your money
I (and my GF) don’t like being the center of the attention. We also don’t need a piece of paper to officialy be together.
FIY: 23 years and counting, no kids.
I have no interest in getting fucked by the courts, thank you very much.
Spent my 20s slaving away and working my way up to a house and stable income alone.
I don’t really see a point in marrying someone and just sharing it all with someone who wasn’t there for the struggles and hard parts where I really could have used someone’s love and support.
I guess when i was a teenager i imagined working together with someone as a team and building a life with someone.
Yeah, it could have went badly and i know many stories where it went badly….
…I damn sure don’t know what could convince me to fall in love with someone at this point.
takes a deep breath,
i grew up in a very broken home of a mother and father who argued a lot because of an older half brother instigating things. nearly 50 years the two of them have been together they are in their 70s they have divorced once seperated twice. now they hate each other but we are all disabled and have to lean on each other to make it. there is no love in this house.
as a young man when i joined the navy and women found me attractive all of a sudden i was all stoked……2 women i dated cheated me.
that was a very long time ago. i decided fuck it im ruing my life just fine on my own i dont need someone else to help me and im not intrested in romance.
im a disabled vetyeran with 0 friends no wheres to go. once my parents die im moving on too.
never had any kids im debt up to my eyeballs thanks to being a dumbass and going to art school and now in debt over 70k. i have more mental health issues than a school shooter. its good i didnt make any croch demons. the world is better off without my dna roaming the land.
Men aren’t avoiding marriage, they’re avoiding divorce.
Caught My Ex-Fiance Cheating with my Buddy 48 hours before our Wedding
Link is to the full story I posted years ago. I’m 11 years removed from that disaster & marriage is even more unappealing now after witnessing an endless cycle deteriorating marriages, devastating divorces, financial ruin, and custody battles.
I’m not religious (I endorse premarital sex), don’t want kids [no tax credits), and am free to walk away from failing relationships at will (and keep 100% of my property).
Unbalanced favoring females.
Men have everything to lose and nothing to gain.
“Happy wife, Happy Life”
Shows which partner has significance and priority in a marriage
Larry David had a bit about this – who do you think has more freedom, the married man in America or single guy in communist Cuba? Single guy in Cuba. He can’t leave the country but he can leave the house whenever he wants!
Same reason I can’t commit to a job.
I have no positive examples in my life that convince me it’s worthwhile. So many decades-long relationships that I’ve watched fall apart. Seems like the ones who go all the way are the odd ones out these days.
Also we’ve all been sold this lie that if you work hard and commit yourself to a job you’ll be taken care of and retire comfortably. It would truly take an idiot to still believe that in 2025.
So I hop around job to job, woman to woman, never commiting to anything because I’m too scared and it doesn’t feel like it’s a strategic choice. I’ll probably die broke and alone but honestly – whatever. Beats dying broke, alone and traumatized.
Marriage doesn’t benefit men at all. Your wife can literally cheat on you, then she automatically gets custody of the kids and half your crap.
Married here, but for most guys what’s the appeal?
Marriage used to be a milestone for men. It was a step to get more. Now it’s a step to losing half of everything you own.
Why bother when girls have gotten too casual with sleeping with men? When women sleep on the first date, what more is there to get? What more is there to experience? You read the ending of the book before even starting the first chapter. This opens the door to thinking chemistry and compatibility is purely sexual when it’s much more.
Also the attitude of many men is why live with a nagger and critic and everything you do is wrong? The misandry is so common that men feel like they aren’t wanted and don’t even try anymore. It’s much more accepted for women to height shame men rather than men fat shaming women, even though body fat is more under your control. This is just one of many double standards that I believe keep my friends single. They are just working on their cars and stacking money.
My wife and I don’t like what’s going on between men and women and it’s definitely because of the degradation of dating culture, which women have more control over. Men have more control over commitment, so why even try if marriage brings nothing extra. Women are blaming men for this when women caused the horrible dating culture where they call the shots. It’s all fun and games and a power trip until it blows up into a social phenomenon like it is today.
Most divorces are initiated by the woman.
Women don’t want marriage, the want a wedding.
In case of divorce, she gets half of my stuff while I get none of hers.
Since I single handedly elevated her lifestyle, she gets alimony for the rest of my life.
That’s what men are rewarded with in marriage. It’s a scam for men. It’s structured in a way that hurts men, and benefits women.
Self preservation. If you never get married, you’ll never have a divorce.
Don’t gain anything
Introduces lawyers into my life
Can potentially lose assets/wealth
95% of the women i’ve dated have been financially worse off than me
Juice ain’t worth the squeeze. That being said, I still plan on marrying my gf soon, but I had to look outside of the “western world.” Not all women are trash, just western women. Traveling taught me that.
why not, why is getting married considered the norm?
I enjoy being spontaneous with my decision making. A marriage is not ideal for this.
It just comes across as something codependent men do because they feel lonely. I’ve had like 5 girlfriends and I wouldn’t want to marry any of them 😅 also makes all that “the right one” talk look like just that. Talk.
Long marriages are probably inhabited by men who struggle with insecurity (who doesnt) and have accepted that woman as their lifetime problem.
I also haven’t had many good examples in my life, but anytime you catch a married man alone, away from his wife he takes that time to breathe away from her.
I refuse to give up or just give someone my independence because they offer sex sometimes.
I did it once. It was an extremely painful experience when it ended and it took years for me to rebuild my life. I don’t want anybody else to have the power to put me in that position again.
I’ve never had a example of a healthy marriage. My grandparents were married for Decades and fought constantly. My uncles and Aunts who were married seemed miserable and constantly fought with their spouses. My own parents still constantly fight over stupid crap and seem miserable together
It’s not needed. You get all the same coverage of laws just by living together.
i like being able to do what i want whenever i want.
Married here! Wouldn’t do it again, I’m happily married but looking at the concept of marriage there is absolutely no benefit to the man, it’s a full blown risk, she can come into my life with no money and leave with more than half of my assets. Even my 401k is at risk.
Marriage doesn’t make any sense financially as a Man, then don’t let her get pregnant, child support and alimony is ridiculous. She cheats and still gets to take everything. I lucked up with my wife but others I know aren’t so lucky. My co-worker told me his ex wife is getting his 401k, which is I think is crazy to me and unfair.
Why put up half your earnings? What do you get in exchange?
A question – do you mean not interested in marriage but still interested in relationships, or not interested in relationships at all?
2 divorces so far. Had to restart with nothing 3 times in my life so far. Don’t need a 3rd strike.
It doesn’t add anything to a relationship besides paperwork
in my experiences, why bother? seems like extra work for little or no benefit.
i can already fuck any other consenting adult, and i don’t have to share my money, my stuff, or my hobbies. i don’t even have to live with other humans!
it works just fine. everyone is happy
I tried it and learned that I’m not a fan.
It’s a trap!
Married once, never again.
I like being able to live out of my backpack and jet set whenever I feel like it. People say that they’re all for that until your ADHD kicks in one night and you’re on a plane halfway around the world because why not. That’s when partners realize that you weren’t kidding that you literally will just up and vanish for months at a time at the drop of a dime.
Was raised non-religious. Marriage seemed like a weird quirk in being human. I agree with the overall idea and practice of nuclear family but disagree with a lot of the modern takes on it.
Essentially, if I met someone who wanted to be with me and felt that deep commitment, I am here to do the same. But we don’t need a massive ceremony costing x amount, government forms, and whatever else. I’d like to make it our own and about us.
But I’m open to whatever my partner wants as well. Hence the being in a relationship and negotiation. As long as everyone’s happy, I’m happy.
It’s not seen as very important where I live. Nobody is going to shame you for not being married here.
I just never really cared.
Like, it’s just a word, why do I have to define a relationship like that? Can’t i just be with someone and leave it at that?
Granted, I grew up with parents who didn’t love eachother.
And I’ve also never been in a relationship.
So I don’t know if it’s a trauma thing, or if I would have been this way regardless.
I don’t believe in marriage. Just a waste of money, and it’s solely made as a day for women.
There is nothing in it for the men anymore.
Unfortunately, in our society women give up everything a man wants before the marriage occurs. So if there is nothing else to gain why would men want to only get more responsibility on their shoulders? And plus, if a marriage ends, men are overwhelmingly more likely to get fucked
Rapid fire: I don’t support the tradition or legality of marriage as I understand it. I don’t support the idea of alimony. I don’t like expensive and frivolous weddings. I don’t like divorce rates. I am a child of divorce.
After some reflection, I decided I liked the idea of being promised to someone. Making a formal and symbolic commitment sounds nice, but I’d want it to be just us and a witness or facilitator in something like a hand binding ceremony. Hate the movie, but picture Braveheart when Mel Gibson marries his love in secret with the priest (to avoid prima nocta, but still).
Waste of money. A good relationship doesn’t need some kind of extravagant party to be solidified and I’m not religious either so I don’t care about that aspect.
Nowadays, marriage is a trap. It devolved from this glorious, sacred, beautiful thing, to this horrid, pointless, ugly excuse of what it once was. With not a single benefit for a man anymore. It’s just become a title for women to flaunt or just a way to destroy a man’s life. The courts usually side with women when it comes to divorce too. She can always lie and call him an abuser or she divorces him because she just got bored or had an affair. And then it’s still not guaranteed the resulting children from the marriage are even yours. So you could potentially be raising another man’s kids cause the wife just didn’t say anything. Or paying child support. There’s just no winning in it for men anymore.
I experienced enough divorce before I was an adult to realize the romantic aspect of marriage is a facade. I don’t want kids and I don’t strive for the ideal of the nuclear family. I don’t have a lot of money and don’t care to pursue that as a goal, and I don’t want to spend what I do have on a wedding. A ceremony and/or title doesn’t bolster the ideals of the day-to-day support, care, and sharing that I’d like to have with someone – consistency and good will would. Marriage isn’t necessary to recognize or codify those experiences (for me).
I’m in my mid 30s and I’ve been in multiple long term relationships that didn’t work out; some that involved cohabitation, some I truly thought were building towards a lifelong partnership. If I were to generalize on my shortcoming I would say I didn’t know myself well enough to recognize the ways I compromised my intentions to show up as a good partner. I think these kind of blind spots are relatively common for people to discover (or overlook) as they age. Sometimes these shortcomings are things you can work through with a partner, sometimes they illuminate differences you didn’t see before, sometimes you end up hurting someone, or being hurt by someone.
Rarely have I thought marriage would be helpful in navigating the process of relational discovery.
Marriage is an archaic religious ritual turned population increasing tool by the govt and ~90% of the marriages in my life have been, or are miserable. I’m not religious nor do I want to be miserable. If I find a partner where it’s important to them then fine, but I’m definitely not seeking nor going to expect marriage from any relationship.
Marriage in my opinion is a formality. If you love someone, you shouldn’t have to declare that love by formal ritual.
I’ve got my life just the way I want it: clean house all to myself, very comfortable finances, peace and quiet. I can lift and read books to my heart’s content.
For me it’s about not being in a relationship in general, let alone marriage