my grandpa (84) just told me “i don’t trust soup. it’s just wet food pretending to be a drink.” idk man i’m still thinking about it

r/

we were just sitting there eating lunch and out of nowhere he drops that line.
i was like “what do you do trust then?” and he goes
“crackers. a cracker’s honest.”
i’m never looking at soup the same way again 💀💀

Comments

  1. Playful_Glove_8026 Avatar

    Thanks for ruining soup for me!

  2. EXXPat Avatar

    The man’s got a point.

  3. cuntpunt2000 Avatar

    Obligatory “he’s out of line but he’s right” meme.

  4. GalacticRanger1 Avatar

    I like your grandpa!

  5. Kithsander Avatar

    Your grandpa and I are kindred spirits. What nutter decided that dousing all your food in a gallon of water was making it better?

  6. Wut_the_ Avatar

    Wouldn’t it be the other way around? No one thinks of soup as being a “drink”

  7. RedCorundum Avatar

    This is a case of YMMV because I know some very dishonest crackers. I’m related to about half of ’em.

  8. TheeVillageCrazyLady Avatar

    We call soup “hot wet salad”

    We are vegetarians and in our house the kids either have a salad or have some soup as part of the meal. That’s the main way we get a ton of vegetables in our diet.

  9. Haunting_Regret_3535 Avatar

    That is wisdom of a man who has truly lived.

  10. optigon Avatar

    Soup has had a serious lack of innovation for a while. All the new soups are basically adult babyfood. I don’t want cheeseburger soup. If I want a cheeseburger, I’ll get that. There’s never been a time where I was like, “This cheese burger isn’t soggy enough! I need to dump broth on it!”

    Soup needs to get comfortable with who it is and learn to be its own thing.

  11. skeletoners Avatar

    I can’t even articulate what “a cracker’s honest” means, but I agree

  12. Varnigma Avatar

    Sounds like something Mitch Hedberg would say.

  13. StrawbraryLiberry Avatar

    I love soup, but he’s not wrong 😅

  14. Acegonia Avatar

    Well….shit.

  15. throwRA437890 Avatar

    He’s on to something. I never trusted soup

  16. Soggy_Competition614 Avatar

    I get it. Soup is for food scraps no one wants to eat anymore. Carrots and celery a little soft? Chop them up and toss them in a soup. Tomatoes or potatoes bruised just cook and blend and add to a soup. Scraps of meat on its last leg and you’re about to toss, throw it in a soup.

  17. Ruby-Skylar Avatar

    The man is a visionary. I don’t trust people that get all giddy about a bowl of soup either. Have you ever had wings? Or a good curry? Give me a break. A bowl of soup gets you going? I think not.

  18. roaringbugtv Avatar

    He sounds like a man who never had good soup.

    I like a good tomatoe soup with a grilled cheese sandwich, a New England clam chowder from Maine, a rich bone broth pho with vermicelli noodles and thin slices of beef or an Italian wedding soup with meatballs.

  19. honest_flowerplower Avatar

    Gramps has clearly never put wet bread in his mouth. Soup is pleasant. Wet bread is worse than water torture.

  20. BorntoRunSlow Avatar

    Aww man, your grandpa is an honest person. Cherish him. On the other hand, my grandpa left home 17 years ago, and when I tried to stop him, he promised he’d buy me an ice cream. He’s still not back, though my mom says he lives upstate now.

  21. jasonis3 Avatar

    Feels like a lot of people here never had good soup

  22. scotterson34 Avatar

    Soup is one of the oldest foods in history. The moment humans made water safe pottery we’ve been making soup and stew. It’s also incredibly nutritious and the easiest way to get a fuck ton of nutrients for the lowest cost.

  23. gumrock_ Avatar

    How does he feel about chowder?

  24. liza9560 Avatar

    I want more opinions from your Gramps.

  25. Apprehensive_Owl1938 Avatar

    Your grandpa should have a blog called Food for Thought 🤔

  26. PaulyRocket68 Avatar

    My husband calls soup “a chunky beverage,” and says it’s not a meal.

  27. Separate-Pollution12 Avatar

    Doesn’t really make sense, but ok

  28. DramaEquivalent4199 Avatar

    This is hilarious. Elderly folks crack me up!

  29. CapnSeabass Avatar

    Your grandpa is so Nick Miller (New Girl) coded I can’t believe it 😂

  30. peonyseahorse Avatar

    I love soup, but other than plain broth I would never drink it like a beverage, so it’s interesting he sees it as a drink. It’s eaten with a spoon is the main distinction for me. I’m sure there are many agree with him that soup is not substantial enough.

  31. Ashotep Avatar

    For a second there I thought I was looking at something on /r/dadjokes. I was surprised when I clicked on this and didn’t see a punchline.

  32. awkwardlylife-ing Avatar

    I had a coworker who would call it dirty food water😂😂

  33. Colseldra Avatar

    He doesn’t like chicken noodle, gumbo, vegetable beef, stuffed peppers, clam chowder ect

    Some are pretty hearty

  34. hotstickywaffle Avatar

    My guy has some very deep, very specific trauma

  35. Due-Explanation6717 Avatar

    Agree with grandpa. As long as I have teeth I will not eat soup

  36. pokeyporcupine Avatar

    Soup is possibly the most influential human thing ever invented.

  37. RogerClyneIsAGod2 Avatar

    I don’t know if r/soup would like with this statement or not. I’m gonna guess not.

  38. LugubriousLilac Avatar

    I love this sub. It’s the only place I’ve found that’s like the internet before algorithms. Also, I miss my grandpa.

  39. uranaiyubaba Avatar

    It’s the exact reason why I love soup! It’s easy fluid intake without having to ‘drink’.

  40. a_code_mage Avatar

    He’s one honest cracker

  41. Ok-Marionberry7515 Avatar

    Don’t tell him about champurrado

  42. NeolithicOrkney Avatar

    Most food is wet, just some more than others.

  43. Apart_Birthday5795 Avatar

    I’m with grandpa. Not a huge fan of soup

  44. uber18133 Avatar

    Is your grandpa Ron Swanson? 😂

  45. TootsNYC Avatar

    I used to really dislike soup. And I think that’s why!

  46. thegooddoktorjones Avatar

    With age comes wisdom. Also a lot of foolish bullshit.

  47. DrachenDad Avatar

    It’s just hot vegetable smoothie 😂

  48. tree-climber69 Avatar

    I love your grandpa and his honest food!!!

  49. StellaMoonDrop Avatar

    This is actually exactly why I love and trust soup.

  50. cinnamon_oatie Avatar

    I feel like it’s more a drink pretending to be wet food

  51. suckadick187 Avatar

    A “crackers honest” obviously not!

  52. RosieEmily Avatar

    Similarly is a smoothie a drink or a food? Depends if you’re hungry or thirsty.

  53. nespik Avatar

    Apologise to get off a tangent. Read the title and confused soup with soap. Now that I am a bit more awake, yeah your title makes sense now. I have to disagree with the not trusting soup, it’s comfort food to me.

  54. mynameisnotsparta Avatar

    Does grandpa eat stew? Stew is a form of soup.

  55. Square_Shallot8124 Avatar

    I prefer my food solid and my liquids refreshing. Soup can gtfo!

  56. IKSLukara Avatar

    So, does putting crackers in soup make the soup “trustworthy?”

  57. antartisa Avatar

    Put that on a t-shirt! I’d wear it!

  58. Eddiebaby7 Avatar

    Foods last chance to be eaten

  59. glassdollparanormal Avatar

    You know, much to think about. 🤔

  60. co678 Avatar

    I’m not big on soup. My favorite is New England clam chowder, not that red crap. But I only eat it when I’m sick or it’s cold enough. So maybe twice a year, and you must have crackers and good bread.

    So many better things to eat other than soup. Especially soup that’s just mostly broth.

  61. completelytrustworth Avatar

    What does your grandpa think of crackers IN soup?

  62. TheVagrantWarrior Avatar

    Your grandpa has never eaten a proper soup his entire life. Is he from the US or Europe/Asia/Africa?

  63. drewcookies Avatar

    What sounds more insane … A BOWL of liquid or a CUP of liquid? Soup belongs in a cup. Its a hot beverage with chunks! This whole process is untrustworthy.

  64. masticore252 Avatar

    Obligatory vsauce reference: is Cereal Soup?

  65. Scary-Alternative-11 Avatar

    Lol! I say something similar to this about Decaf coffee and tea… It’s just flavored water pretending to be coffee. And also nonfat milk. It’s just water pretending to be milk! 😂

  66. Bonaz Avatar

    Yall have never had a halfway decent soup and these comments are proof of that

  67. snickerdandy Avatar

    Distrusts soup, trusts the driest food on the other side of the spectrum??

  68. Anne314 Avatar

    So how much weed does OP’s grandpa smoke?

  69. SomeCharactersAgain Avatar

    The only soup pretending to be a drink is a cup-a-soup

  70. ArtichokeOwl Avatar

    He’s wrong (soup is food made easy to eat!! So low effort!!) but I appreciate everything about this lol.

  71. Ohanotherad Avatar

    Soup might be full of lies, but crackers will never have you rode hard and put away wet.

  72. ArsenicWallpaper99 Avatar

    I have issues with food textures and combined foods, so soups are tricky. There’s mushy textures, chewy textures, semi-crunchy textures, and actual liquid- all in the same bowl. It sort of reminds me of vomit. The only soups I truly enjoy are tomato bisque, kale and potato, or the lemon chicken soup from the local Greek restaurant.

  73. wronguses Avatar

    Wet food? The fuck?

    Tell your grandpa I said pspspspsps.

  74. Adventurous_Bit1325 Avatar

    Whenever I have soup, I crumble enough crackers in it so that I can eat it with a fork, or use soup as a dip for baguette style bread.

  75. aesthetic_k_14 Avatar

    Never liked soup but never knew why. Now I know!

  76. notjawn Avatar

    The sea was angry that day friends. Like an old man at a deli returning soup.

  77. InterimOccupancy Avatar
  78. LongDongBillabong Avatar

    Your grandpa knows. Soup is liquid deception. It’s food in disguise. A broth-based psyop. And don’t even get him started on bisques — that’s just soup with a superiority complex. Meanwhile, crackers? Solid. Reliable. Been keeping it real since day one. Grandpa’s not paranoid… he’s awake. 🛸🥣👀

  79. Axrxt76 Avatar

    As someone who hates soup, I feel validated. Thank your grandpa for me.

  80. leefee123 Avatar

    “Soup: its just wet ass food” – ned

  81. JCVideo Avatar

    Your grandpa is autistic

  82. Funandgeeky Avatar

    “The only thing I hate more than liars is skim milk. Which is water LYING about being milk.” -Ron Swanson.

  83. Ouija429 Avatar

    How do I unlearn this knowledge…

  84. WorksfromtheShadows Avatar

    I feel that way about broth type soups and soupy chili (instead of a thick stew-like chili). They just don’t feel satisfying. I’m always looking for something more substantial to eat afterward.

    The only way to eat broth is by crushing up a half sleeve of saltines into the soup until a spoon practically stands up in it. Now that will stick to your ribs!

  85. idiveindumpsters Avatar

    My son doesn’t like soup. He says “it’s too wet”

  86. TheShittyBeatles Avatar

    Soup is food’s last chance to get eaten.

    Steven Wright

  87. IsisArtemii Avatar

    He’s got a point. My bestie calls beer “cold barley soup “ so I guess he’s not really wrong.

  88. Global-Permission459 Avatar

    I’m with your grampa on this one. I hate when I’m slurping some soup and all of the sudden I have some moist string of I don’t know what in my mouth.

  89. cheersmush Avatar

    Add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.

  90. nothingbeast Avatar

    Makes me think of the episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 when Mike and the bots have an “Andy Rooney-Off”

    “Well, there are French soups with bread in em. I don’t really understand that. To me, it’s arbitrary. Whether you put bread in a soup or soup in a bread, you still have sloppy bread.”

    https://youtu.be/HOU5JNA958A?si=9tzF_xdFP6hzskLO

  91. yashdes Avatar

    Crackers are fucking honest tbh

  92. MeanTelevision Avatar

    Your grandpa sounds hilarious. That’s a precious observation.

  93. Curiosive Avatar

    Your dad would get along with Jay Leno, he’s notorious for hating on soup.

  94. moonkittiecat Avatar

    Your grandpa sounds like the kind of man you need to take to a bar and buy him a pint and let him philosophize about life. “No, they never been to the moon boy-o. There’s a very isolate place in the Sahara desert where they fined all that. I saw it my self. Then I skeedattled”.

  95. CurseOfDragonite Avatar

    Your grandpa is correct

  96. PunchySophi Avatar

    Grandpa knows what’s up

  97. iDidntReadOP Avatar

    Girl I’ve been talking to said a burger is basically a meatball. It’s had my mind in a pretzel

  98. Sickmonkey365 Avatar

    That is brilliant

  99. FridayNEET Avatar

    Soup is actually a really good poor man’s meal. It’s also healthy

    Eating soup really helps you lose weight as you get filled up while not intaking as many carbs. The extra fluids also helps you meet your fluid intake (unless have a medical condition that doesn’t like fluids

    I’m a big fan of soup helping regulate my own eating habits tbh

  100. FlashFox24 Avatar

    I always thought of it as a drink pretending to be food. I also don’t like soup.

  101. MelancholicShark Avatar

    So.. Most people here haven’t had a good bowl of soup? Good to know, but also kinda sad. Soup is the best. Gramps is just wrong.

  102. Mythamuel Avatar

    If I want water with my food I just get a glass of water.

  103. magvadis Avatar

    Old people wisdom do be hitting.

    But also soup slaps. Broth is the best way to hold flavor. It’s just savory drink with all the goodies in it.

  104. BadIdeaSociety Avatar

    Soup is good food.

  105. redditfellatesceos Avatar

    As much as I’m not really a fan of soup, to claim crackers are superior is a wild take. Some crackers can be a nice snack, but a good soup is a solid meal. How the fuck can he think crackers are better?

  106. -Dueck- Avatar

    I’ve always thought of it as a drink pretending to be a meal

  107. 2Geese1Plane Avatar

    Nah he’s right. I dislike soup because of similar reasons lol. (Also a bloody mary is cold alcoholic soup)

  108. spidermom Avatar

    My husband does not trust soup, either. He calls it “food swamp.” It’s hilarious.

  109. mon_b3b3 Avatar

    Ok but reading this after hitting the penjamin. Your grandpa truly has a way with words. 🫡

  110. secretmacaroni Avatar

    Man never had a good Caribbean soup in his life

  111. KeremyJyles Avatar

    Yes the near 90 year old man jokes like a meta internet hipster, I buy it

  112. orangegrapehottie Avatar

    Lmao I know he’s hilarious

  113. CitrusCustard Avatar

    Is it wet food pretending to be a drink or is it a drink pretending to be wet food? 🤯

  114. gimmecakepls Avatar

    You should get some like tomato soup and drink it from a mug in front of him. See how he reacts 👀

  115. TokenPanduh Avatar

    The show The Good Place said something in the same vein. “New England Clam Chowder is just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons”

  116. Weebkun666 Avatar

    They serve saltines with soup to act as a reference

  117. dysoncube Avatar

    Soup dumplings are sleeper agents

  118. MysteryBelle_NC Avatar

    I mean, he’s not wrong…

  119. solace_v Avatar

    He hasn’t had Asian soups. Beef noodle, Tom yum, catfish and lemongrass and coconut, bun Bo he… it’s a delicious world.

  120. NosamEht Avatar

    I am so looking forward to being a grandpa. Saying stuff like this and having someone take you seriously is as high up as getting a tractor on my bucket list.

  121. mekikipants Avatar

    I hate soup. You never know what could be hiding in there. Was that a pinky toe?

  122. Narrow_Key3813 Avatar

    Im convinced these anti wet food people eat those saucy foods with a spoon/fork and only pick up the meat with barely any sauce (where all the flavour and hard work went into).

  123. katnap4866 Avatar

    soup is life and ❤️ r/ramen