I work remotely with a small team of 6. Every 3 months we all travel cross country to our office. This week I visited for 3 days… and it was honestly awful.
It felt like nothing I said landed and noone cared to listen. It feels like being the black sheep, or like there’s something wrong with me
I felt so alone and detached. I’m hoping my brain is just overthinking every little detail but can’t shake the feeling.
Anyone else ever feel this way or have a way to deal with it? I only feel this way when I visit them, maybe as I’m not from the area but everyone else is, it’s a natural way to feel?
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I’ve felt this way my whole life. I show interest, ask questions, responsive, positive, and no one chooses me as a friend, significant other etc
I know I’m a good person so sometimes there is no smoking gun. There is no reason. I have ADHD so maybe I do things incorrectly socially but I don’t think it’s that bad.
Anyway the point is know your value. And if you feel lonely (which I’ve felt all my life) I would suggest going to a park and starting conversations with people.
And if that idea scares you, that’s understandable. But I’ll let you in on a secret. It’s only scary because of the thoughts in your mind.
Yes I’m actually actively trying to better connect with people. I feel like I’ve always tried to be the “good friend” but I’m extremely blunt and kinda monotone so I’ve been told I come off as not very empathetic. I’ve noticed in others around me and in past friends that I didnt like their approach to our friendship or the person at all really but I still put up with them. I have similarities to these people so now I’m trying to actively be different. I never saw anything wrong with the way I was as a person or friend I actually kinda like myself but I always found myself never fully connecting with others and I figure I’m the common denominator so might as well try to change my own approach.
If you only feel that way when you’re around those specific people, then you don’t necessarily have a problem connecting with people. You just can’t connect with these particular people. And that’s totally fine. No human has the ability to be friends with everyone.
If you only feel this way with this specific group of people, don’t overthink it. The issue likely isn’t you. Even if it was you, you aren’t going to vibe with every human as much as you’d like to. Are you looking for a sense of community? If so, can you look at the meetup app to find others you have things in common with? Is there somewhere in the area you live in that you can go and socialize? As someone who worked at the same job for 9 years begging my coworkers to like me, I can promise you that usually the problem isn’t you. When I left there I found such a great group of people who genuinely seem interested in me every day. I spent so much time thinking my community had to revolve around my job but it doesn’t. You can find it outside of work if the people you work with just don’t make a good fit
Honestly it would have been a better experience to get together with colleagues those mere days in a year, and feel like a powerhouse, a real unit together. You’re in this thing together and feeling accepted and appreciated is absolutely part of it.
But hey, it doesn’t have to be a giant dealbreaker. Regular life hopefully has some signals that you’re worth it OP 🙂
Just let it slide, because a small thing can get out of proportion when you only see them a few days in a year.