I’ve been off my medication for like four months now. My mom thought that I had “ severe mental health issues” after I dropped out of college and she sent me to her psychiatrist who, according to reviews online, is way too eager to over medicate. After being miserable for a while and trying out at least a dozen different medications I just quit taking them but kept on picking up the prescriptions. Best decision of my life, but nobody knows.
I’m probably a paranoid schizophrenic, I just don’t tell anyone what I think , either that or a group of people follows me around fucking with me, tampers with my devices, talks thru my walls, maybe a subwoofer . I could go on and on but I really keep the thoughts inside, i know how it sounds so I’m good, no complaints, everything is fine how r u
I spent most of my life up until like 6 months ago on the verge of ending it all. Like any minor argument was just my last fucking straw over and over again. Now I’m doing alot better and the constant “I wanna die” became “I wanna move out” and “I wanna get my life under control”
My mom can never know. I would never tell my partner even though I’m sure he could tell. I’m ashamed of how long I felt like that and how well I hid it.
I’m not actually the strongest person in the world. Please stop relying on me. Please stop needing me. Please stop coming to me for reassurance. But they’ll never know. They only see the carefully curated façade. I’ll keep carrying the weight of their worries, their troubles, even when it’s killing me. With a smile that hides the dead I feel inside.
That more than once, I’ve planned my disappearance and have come close to doing it. I don’t have a bad family, and I don’t have a bad life. But when I feel so stagnant, bored, monotonous, and depressed that I could just scream, I have heavily researched how to just…disappear and start over. Obviously I come to my senses because I love my family and friends and am perfectly happy 95% of the time, and running away won’t actually solve the internal problems motivating me to make that decision. But I pretty much have a plan in the back of my mind for if I ever decide to hit the “reset” button. My family and friends would be pretty shocked and concerned; from their POV it is very out of character for me.
That I constantly feel like im competing with everyone and can’t stop, and that my initial internal reaction when I see them accomplishing things or having good things happen is some sort of negative/maybe jealous feeling
I have full on conversations with people that don’t exist.
Imagine having imaginary friends at the age of 19.
I originally made these ‘characters’ up as a kid because I was often lonely, and now I keep them around to keep me levelheaded when I’m in tense situations.
I often jokingly refer to it as ‘Controlled Schizophrenia’.
To myself, of course.
Recently… that I’m trying to move 1,000 miles away but am waiting to get a job first. Nobody will call me back and I’m miserable where I am now. So I just show up every day pretending it’s all okay when actually I just want to leave and never come back.
I’m happy and I find suffering hard to hang on to. As a Catholic, suffering is the highest sacrifice outside of the Eucharist we can offer to Christ. I wish I could suffer more. I fast a lot to create hunger but most of the time it doesn’t feel like enough.
I have a slight drug problem – I manage it without it interfering in my day to day. Some people know take THC, but no ones knows how much or how often I use. I go some nights without and its just so boring.
I’m extremely angry and bitter towards my whole family. My therapist says I need to forgive so I can move on but as far as I’m concerned they don’t deserve it. I understand no parent is perfect. I understand that at the time my sister was also just a teenager. I have tried to forgive but then my rage spikes because they don’t deserve it. I live with a horrible mental illness as a result of what happened (pedo). There’s no cure and it’s extremely hard to maintain. I can’t live a “normal” life and for years I had to endure bullying from my parents and sister for being a “loser” going no where and having nothing. I’ve struggled really hard to get where I am now and struggle to maintain it and will continue to struggle until the day I die. So, I hate them with every fibre of my being.
When I (M) was 13, my mom’s friend (F 40’s) asked me to give my mom some money she had owed her for some reason. My friends and I were heading out the door at their house when she said “wait.. I want you to give your mom some money I owe her.”
So I stopped and waited while she got a $20 bill.
As I reached my hand out to get it, she didnt hand it to me, instead she shoved her hand into my front pocket with the $20 bill. She held on to the bill, but swirled her hand around and touched me several times quickly, even seeming to curl her index and middle finger around my p—is. All the while looking straight into my eyes.
“There. There you go. Now don’t forget to give it to her. Ask her if I need to give her more”.
I wasn’t freaked out like “what the hell just happened?” It was more like “Dang, she doesn’t know how much she owes my mom, thats weird.”
When I got home I handed mom the money and said it was from Mrs A.
“She doesn’t owe me money. Are you sure you understood her correctly?”
“Maybe she got you mixed up with someone else.”
A year or so later it suddenly hit me what had happened.
Again, it wasn’t traumatic, it was just bizarre.
She was a very frail woman, anorexic. And her husband sounded and acted very effeminate. They had one kid who was 2 years older than me.
She and mom would always talk and I remember it was always her talking bad about other people.
Looking back, with they being from a very small southern town, I suspected that he was gay, but was very closeted. She didn’t know until after they were married, and she lived an embarrassing life of trying to keep up appearances and hide his secret. She told mom once that they no longer were no longer intimate and I overheard and sort of knew what she meant.
She was very much into image and reputation, and she used to lament that she married him instead of her first love because he had a college degree and came from a well known family.
I think it pushed her over the edge into some kind of mental illness.
I don’t hold any resentment or shame, but I wondered if that was a one time thing. (She was drinking wine, and was a bit drunk), or if she just had a strange attraction to young teens who were.just coming of age.
That when someone (family, friends, girlfriend, anyone) is upset or angry or happy; I feel nothing. Even if it’s directed towards me. I fake the reaction I think they want to hear but honestly I could walk past them and start making a snack for all I care. Sometimes I really want to just say “okay” and walk away.
I got a job with the government. It required a physical and part of the physical was an eye test. I went in for the physical and they forgot to do the eye test, but I didn’t know that at the time. By the way, I would have failed the eye sight test. A month later I get a letter that says I need to go back for the eye test. In that one month period I had gotten contact lenses. I took the eye test wearing those, passed, got the job, worked for a few decades and retired.
Roughly this time last year, I used to sometimes get in my car very late at night, drive up the freeway a few exits to scope if any highway patrol was there, then drive back doing 40km above the limit, wondering if that night was the night I would finally follow through with driving right into a wall.
My husband and I donate $100 to the food bank monthly. The donation is matched my his work. I don’t like telling people because it sounds like bragging rights when I just want to help our community. No one needs to know.
Might change, and I lead an overall happy and fulfilling life, but definitely think I can have long period of loneliness I don’t really bring up – mostly romantically
I slipped and fell down the stairs at the mall, and I heard someone say, “HA!” And I pretended I didn’t fall as sat on the very step scrolling through my phone 🙃.
The reason my marriage is unraveling is because my
Husband put his hands on me. Again. And I still try and protect his image but he actually thinks it’s a valid response to feeling disrespected. A 200 pound man put his hands on me, a 130 pound female.
It’s disgusting when I type it out. I would beg my daughter to leave a man like this so WHY do I make excuses for him?
I lost my mother in December to fucking cancer. Lung to brain. That’s not the part that no one knows, it’s that I have found it increasingly difficult to continue day by day. I am drowning. I miss my mom. Nothing is the same anymore. And I’m not some young kid. I’m in my thirties and this has foundationally fucked me up and shifted my life. I have developed debilitating health anxiety. Like I get a headache and I’m sure that I am suffering brain tumors like my mother and I cannot afford therapy. I feel crazy. I lost one of the only people in this world who understood me. I’m losing will everyday to get up. And I’m exhausted from two years of constant stress and I feel guilt that I am only relieved of that by her death. I am perpetually angry. I don’t know if I’m gonna crawl my way out of this.
Comments
I ain’t straight
I’m psychic
I am infact a capybara in a man suit. Sorry.
I recently adopted an adorable kitten, but his recent behavior is secretly starting to creep me out.
I’ve been off my medication for like four months now. My mom thought that I had “ severe mental health issues” after I dropped out of college and she sent me to her psychiatrist who, according to reviews online, is way too eager to over medicate. After being miserable for a while and trying out at least a dozen different medications I just quit taking them but kept on picking up the prescriptions. Best decision of my life, but nobody knows.
I’m not telling. Nice try, though.
I’m an atheist
Wouldn’t you like to know?
This account.
1 person knows, my partner.
Why would I tell you?
My fetishes from the past
I hate people.
All of my hurt and pain.
that I did stuff with a guy from my paper route when I was little
That I’m not as okay as I pretend to be. I’ve just gotten really good at looking fine.
I have sold majority of my possessions, stopped talking to all my friends. Left my girlfriend. we’ll see if I can make it to the end of the month.
I’m much crazy
I’m sad.
it’s honestly so bad i can’t even tell strangers online 😭 i’m seriously taking it to the grave with me
I’m probably a paranoid schizophrenic, I just don’t tell anyone what I think , either that or a group of people follows me around fucking with me, tampers with my devices, talks thru my walls, maybe a subwoofer . I could go on and on but I really keep the thoughts inside, i know how it sounds so I’m good, no complaints, everything is fine how r u
I’m sad most of the time but I pretend to be happy
I spent most of my life up until like 6 months ago on the verge of ending it all. Like any minor argument was just my last fucking straw over and over again. Now I’m doing alot better and the constant “I wanna die” became “I wanna move out” and “I wanna get my life under control”
My mom can never know. I would never tell my partner even though I’m sure he could tell. I’m ashamed of how long I felt like that and how well I hid it.
The things that I would do for a Klondike Bar
I loathe my husband’s grandmother and I cannot wait till she’s gone.
Well you know…where the bodies are buried
I don’t post my whole fucking life online like some people I know.
Ì̸̡̧̢̨̧̛̯̜͓̠̘͇̝͙̳̲͙̯̬̮̥̭̪̗͍̣͉̗̝͇̗̀̀̂̏͋̕͠’̵̨̨͓͈̪̭͎͙͈̠̲͔͔̘̫͋͐͌͘͘͠ͅm̷̧̡̢̢̝̭̦͎͓̤͍̳͎̥̻̱͓̼̰̝̯͙͍̙̙̮̟͓̜̪̺͉̳͎͚̞͖̗̄̏̏͒͒̉̾̓̃̀̓͑̈́͆̋̃̎̇̉͘͜͝͠ͅ ̴̨̧̢̢̙͇̭͚̙̩̺͖͍̲͖̯̗̠̖̳̰̞̬̘͉̣̫̱͖͕͉͚̼̰̘̭̪̔̄̄́͌̑̄̊̓̄́͊̈́̅͠ṅ̷̡̨̨̢̨̢̛̝̝̰̞̬̝̰̫̞̤͍̳̥̙̫͎̺̻͙͚̗̟̣͓͖͎̣͐̽̀̾̃͂̓̑͂̓̉̾̄̀͘ơ̷̡̳̠̞͖̰̪̖̩̯̪̫̩͍͍͉̠̍̈́̂̓̓̓̆̈́̾̀̄͗͌͒̔̇́͆̒̀͒͂̓͋̓̇̉̽̈͑̍͛̀́́͋̋͂͋̕͘͘͝ţ̶̧̡̡̛͎͈̮̘̫̼̹̜͓͚̝̱̞̩͓̲̪̺͚̟̤̤̹̦̗̠͚̙͎̞͙̮̤̱̘̬͕̹͇̰̼͖͔͇̳͓̓̓̀́̈̌̐̌̌͂͆̐͂͌̑̈́̇͊́͗͆̈́͘͝ ̷̧͚͍̦̖͔̋́̎͒̃̇̄̄̇̀̽͊̚n̵̛̛̛̫̹̏́̌͂́̔̆̅́̄̔̎̀̈͆̉͑̓̈̚͘̚̚͘̚͜͝o̷̧̢̡̢̢̙̱͎̯͍̲̪̯̎̒͂̈́̈́̏̐̑̊̂́̿̒̑͒̈̀͊̚̚̚͜͝r̴̢̢̧̧̢̰͓̭̦͇̪̖̮̞̻̜̯̖͙̣̳̝͈̯͕̰͓͎̠̗̣͈̗̬͉̩͍̲͉̐͊̂̑̓̀̓̈́̂̓͌̌́̑̑͗͝ͅḿ̷̡̧̛̛̲͓͇̪̳̘̙͍̣̬͇̗̺̩̞͚̣̞̥̞̠̤̀̓̔͌͂̃͐̂̍̍̆̎̋̿̃̌͊́̐͌̔̔͛̌̃̽̌̓̾͂͛̎̈́a̶̡̢̧̢̯̱̝͉̠̝͇͈͔̘̰͕̱̱͎̗͊̍͒̂͑͐́̎̿̌́̊̿̽̆̀̃͑̉̋̇̔̍͊̐̑̀́̚͘͝͝͠ͅl̷̢̧̛͖̻̫̼͉̹̭̩͚̭͎͚͈̤͍̞̭̏͒͋͑̏̃̓̽̍̓̈́̈̽̓̀̎̕͠͠.̷̡̧̛̘̝̘̩̞͈̲̬͓͔͍̱͈̼̯̱̜͚̗͖͉͎̘̙̰̠̹̱͇̟͉͍̙͍̥̬̩͎̜́͂̂̀̄̅̀͒̿̊̈́̓̕͝ͅͅ
Nice try, government!!
I eat my boogers….
I’m not actually the strongest person in the world. Please stop relying on me. Please stop needing me. Please stop coming to me for reassurance. But they’ll never know. They only see the carefully curated façade. I’ll keep carrying the weight of their worries, their troubles, even when it’s killing me. With a smile that hides the dead I feel inside.
I was paid by Uncle Sam not to tell. And I won’t.
That more than once, I’ve planned my disappearance and have come close to doing it. I don’t have a bad family, and I don’t have a bad life. But when I feel so stagnant, bored, monotonous, and depressed that I could just scream, I have heavily researched how to just…disappear and start over. Obviously I come to my senses because I love my family and friends and am perfectly happy 95% of the time, and running away won’t actually solve the internal problems motivating me to make that decision. But I pretty much have a plan in the back of my mind for if I ever decide to hit the “reset” button. My family and friends would be pretty shocked and concerned; from their POV it is very out of character for me.
My world famous spaghetti isn’t world famous
I like guys too
That I wear diapers. Only my wife knows.
Being a vegetarian in a family full of barbecue enthusiasts.
How bad my depression is
That I constantly feel like im competing with everyone and can’t stop, and that my initial internal reaction when I see them accomplishing things or having good things happen is some sort of negative/maybe jealous feeling
I have absolutely no love left for my husband.
I have full on conversations with people that don’t exist.
Imagine having imaginary friends at the age of 19.
I originally made these ‘characters’ up as a kid because I was often lonely, and now I keep them around to keep me levelheaded when I’m in tense situations.
I often jokingly refer to it as ‘Controlled Schizophrenia’.
To myself, of course.
Recently… that I’m trying to move 1,000 miles away but am waiting to get a job first. Nobody will call me back and I’m miserable where I am now. So I just show up every day pretending it’s all okay when actually I just want to leave and never come back.
I am often battling an overwhelming urge to break things and scream
Something that will remain hidden until I face the Lord’s judgement.
I’m happy and I find suffering hard to hang on to. As a Catholic, suffering is the highest sacrifice outside of the Eucharist we can offer to Christ. I wish I could suffer more. I fast a lot to create hunger but most of the time it doesn’t feel like enough.
That I’m depressed 🦅🦅👍
brand new account farming karma. . . . . . . every question they have posted are like the top 10 of askreddit . . . . . .
I stop getting to know people so they don’t find out I have no friends and think I’m weird
I don’t know if my boyfriend and I are compatible enough for it to work. I haven’t told anyone
My depression, although I suspect I’m not that good at hiding it as I get older.
I have a slight drug problem – I manage it without it interfering in my day to day. Some people know take THC, but no ones knows how much or how often I use. I go some nights without and its just so boring.
Not telling you
When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It’s for fun.
[deleted]
I’m a furry and no one irl knows it
I’m extremely angry and bitter towards my whole family. My therapist says I need to forgive so I can move on but as far as I’m concerned they don’t deserve it. I understand no parent is perfect. I understand that at the time my sister was also just a teenager. I have tried to forgive but then my rage spikes because they don’t deserve it. I live with a horrible mental illness as a result of what happened (pedo). There’s no cure and it’s extremely hard to maintain. I can’t live a “normal” life and for years I had to endure bullying from my parents and sister for being a “loser” going no where and having nothing. I’ve struggled really hard to get where I am now and struggle to maintain it and will continue to struggle until the day I die. So, I hate them with every fibre of my being.
I’m actually Batman
When I (M) was 13, my mom’s friend (F 40’s) asked me to give my mom some money she had owed her for some reason. My friends and I were heading out the door at their house when she said “wait.. I want you to give your mom some money I owe her.”
So I stopped and waited while she got a $20 bill.
As I reached my hand out to get it, she didnt hand it to me, instead she shoved her hand into my front pocket with the $20 bill. She held on to the bill, but swirled her hand around and touched me several times quickly, even seeming to curl her index and middle finger around my p—is. All the while looking straight into my eyes.
“There. There you go. Now don’t forget to give it to her. Ask her if I need to give her more”.
I wasn’t freaked out like “what the hell just happened?” It was more like “Dang, she doesn’t know how much she owes my mom, thats weird.”
When I got home I handed mom the money and said it was from Mrs A.
“She doesn’t owe me money. Are you sure you understood her correctly?”
“Maybe she got you mixed up with someone else.”
A year or so later it suddenly hit me what had happened.
Again, it wasn’t traumatic, it was just bizarre.
She was a very frail woman, anorexic. And her husband sounded and acted very effeminate. They had one kid who was 2 years older than me.
She and mom would always talk and I remember it was always her talking bad about other people.
Looking back, with they being from a very small southern town, I suspected that he was gay, but was very closeted. She didn’t know until after they were married, and she lived an embarrassing life of trying to keep up appearances and hide his secret. She told mom once that they no longer were no longer intimate and I overheard and sort of knew what she meant.
She was very much into image and reputation, and she used to lament that she married him instead of her first love because he had a college degree and came from a well known family.
I think it pushed her over the edge into some kind of mental illness.
I don’t hold any resentment or shame, but I wondered if that was a one time thing. (She was drinking wine, and was a bit drunk), or if she just had a strange attraction to young teens who were.just coming of age.
I’m gay, only on Tuesdays
Porn
I have the wettest cookie on Reddit.
I am a meat popsicle.
Lost my V card to a big booty escort been addicted since.
That I use Reddit
Not trying to sound ‘edgy’ but sometimes the darkness gets really bad and I want to carve my skin into ribbons.
That when someone (family, friends, girlfriend, anyone) is upset or angry or happy; I feel nothing. Even if it’s directed towards me. I fake the reaction I think they want to hear but honestly I could walk past them and start making a snack for all I care. Sometimes I really want to just say “okay” and walk away.
Nice try.
Ahahahaha nice try
I am paid to write stories about women pooping.
It’s simultaneously tame and kinky.
And I will never tell anyone I know personally.
I got a job with the government. It required a physical and part of the physical was an eye test. I went in for the physical and they forgot to do the eye test, but I didn’t know that at the time. By the way, I would have failed the eye sight test. A month later I get a letter that says I need to go back for the eye test. In that one month period I had gotten contact lenses. I took the eye test wearing those, passed, got the job, worked for a few decades and retired.
Roughly this time last year, I used to sometimes get in my car very late at night, drive up the freeway a few exits to scope if any highway patrol was there, then drive back doing 40km above the limit, wondering if that night was the night I would finally follow through with driving right into a wall.
I started going to the strip club 2 years ago and now I’m addicted to the point i go alone like once every 2 or 3 weeks so no one knows.
My husband and I donate $100 to the food bank monthly. The donation is matched my his work. I don’t like telling people because it sounds like bragging rights when I just want to help our community. No one needs to know.
Might change, and I lead an overall happy and fulfilling life, but definitely think I can have long period of loneliness I don’t really bring up – mostly romantically
I lost my faith just to stop my pain
I have a 9 inch dong
I cry in the shower so no one hears.
It’s easier than explaining
Looks like my secret hideout behind the fan isn’t so secret anymore!
I slipped and fell down the stairs at the mall, and I heard someone say, “HA!” And I pretended I didn’t fall as sat on the very step scrolling through my phone 🙃.
My suicidal thoughts
Then it won’t be a secret anymore? 😆
The reason my marriage is unraveling is because my
Husband put his hands on me. Again. And I still try and protect his image but he actually thinks it’s a valid response to feeling disrespected. A 200 pound man put his hands on me, a 130 pound female.
It’s disgusting when I type it out. I would beg my daughter to leave a man like this so WHY do I make excuses for him?
I once pretended to yawn while on an airplane just to make the person next to me yawn. I felt so powerful.
I lost my mother in December to fucking cancer. Lung to brain. That’s not the part that no one knows, it’s that I have found it increasingly difficult to continue day by day. I am drowning. I miss my mom. Nothing is the same anymore. And I’m not some young kid. I’m in my thirties and this has foundationally fucked me up and shifted my life. I have developed debilitating health anxiety. Like I get a headache and I’m sure that I am suffering brain tumors like my mother and I cannot afford therapy. I feel crazy. I lost one of the only people in this world who understood me. I’m losing will everyday to get up. And I’m exhausted from two years of constant stress and I feel guilt that I am only relieved of that by her death. I am perpetually angry. I don’t know if I’m gonna crawl my way out of this.
Edit for typo: king to *lung