Idk . We’re long distance and meet once a year. He’s busy with his studies and job too. I started resenting him for many things which aren’t even that big of an issue. I love him so much but I cannot bear some of his opinions. I feel like I’m being unheard and joked about. As I’m younger, it kinds of comes off as him insulting me or making jokes as I’m young and I don’t know anything . He even jokes about me being a feminist. I explained him what happened to me years ago which is why I kind of hate and am scared of men in india. I am scared of going out at night that too in a place like Assam where there are numerous r@pe cases everyday.
He jokes about me being feminist and I should be strong then and get a job(I’m studying ) and be independent.
It’s all jokes not a big deal but it’s happening so often that rn i get triggered on every little joke he makes. I told him to stop saying things like this but then he says that “ok from tomorrow I’ll stop making jokes to you I’ll shut up” and then next moment he says he cannot live like this fearing how I’d feel everytime. The thing is he has issues with his family and life too and I don’t want to ruin it by going away. Also I love him but i don’t see a future like this. Moving together will also take 1-2 more years. We’re 1.5 years now together. What can I do?
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He’s a nice human being and responsible towards his goals and family. I don’t want to hate him.
You can choose yourself and leave.
im sorry op, thats a frustrating situation. i understand you dont want to hate him, and feel guilty about the resentment, but this does not sound healthy. sexual assault and misogyny are very real threats, and making jokes about them is not only disrespectful, but quite scary, as he clearly doesnt take it seriously at all. his hostility towards feminism is concerning, and if he doesnt value and respect women, how will he value and respect you throughout your relationship? even just the fact that he cant even stop making jokes that bother you simply shows how little respect he has in the relationship.
i think the best move would be to part ways, or at the very least, tell him that you will part ways if it continues. i dont think he sounds like a safe or caring person to be with at all.