I think my dad is laundering money or something like that, and I think I kinda have to talk to him about it but I don’t know how to go about it.
My dad is not happy with me at present; lost my job, almost flunked out of uni, just crawled out of a couple weeks of crushing depression and he’s not really so progressive about mental shit; he’s been giving me a lot of lectures (sort of understandably ig) about getting my shit together and how he’s sick and tired of me fucking up at every given opportunity. We have a complicated relationship I guess, he’s my dad so I love him but he can be the most terrible violently abusive piece of shit, so I don’t like him so much all the time.
Because I lost my job I couldn’t make rent so I had to ask him for the money and he sent it to me however sometimes when he sends money its really sketchy (and as I now am told, likely criminal) I either have to go to some random address or someone pulls up outside my cash and gives me a wad of cash that I pay in to my account and use for whatever purpose, this time for rent, other times its stuff my dad wants or shit like that.
My understanding is that I could be complicit in this inadvertently so its really seeming like something I should clear up with him, either I’m misunderstanding something or he is getting me caught up in criminal shit. I just don’t know how to without making him angry at me being ungrateful especially with everything he’s already angry at me for but at the same time I don’t want to say nothing because I feel like now that I know it could be something sketchy I can’t keep taking money from him because that puts me in a bad legal spot just as I’m tryna get into working and actual adult life. Should also say, he works abroad so I can’t exactly sit him down, and the thought of calling him this morning made me so anxious I almost threw up. How am I meant to have this conversation with him?
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You could casually mention the difficulty of using the cash and how it could be easier to have it wired. Play dumb and ask, ‘oh why’ kind of questions. At the end of the day if you are that uncomfortable then you need to secure your own money through work or loans.
So, I definitely have experience with this kind of situation because my father is the same way. If he’s violent, don’t piss him off. If you’re financially dependent on him, don’t piss him off.
Also, you can’t accept dirty money AND take a stance against it. It’s one or the other. If you wanna be legally in the clear and confront your dad, you also should be prepared not to receive financial help from him again. For me personally, there were definitely times where I accepted the assistance and was okay feigning ignorance about where it came from. If you’re not comfortable with that, that is a perfectly valid boundary, but you should expect that he won’t help again because he’s afraid you’ll report it.
If you absolutely have to confront him and can’t ignore it, then I would suggest phrasing it in a way that doesn’t seem critical. Like instead of saying something accusatory, you could say something like “I noticed that you sent me a large sum of cash last time. The government takes way too much tax money from your checks, huh? That’s smart.” Don’t piss off violent people, especially if you think they’re involved in crime. You need to prioritize your safety above anything else.