I always had a job ever since I was 16 years old. My first “grown up” job was during the Great Recession. I knew I was very lucky to even have a job at that time, especially when I watched coworkers that have been working for decades being dismissed due to company cutbacks. I was terrified of being one of them. Ever since then, I kept my head down and did every work I was handed. I knew I was being exploited, but the fear of struggling like my parents was so overwhelming that I kept quiet and worked. To a certain extent, it paid off. Many of my bosses were astonished with my numbers… so much that they pushed back whenever upper management pressured them to terminate me. And it worked. I was very lucky I was good at my job and had numerous people that would vouch for me… but that luck ended yesterday.
HR called me an hour before I was going to leave for work. The company has been struggling due to the economy, decisions by the current administration, and the lack of interest from clients. I no longer needed to report to work as my position was terminated starting now. The entire call lasted 5 minutes.
I wasn’t even in a prominent position. My title was “Lab Technician”; we did all the tedious work the scientists didn’t want to do. We never complained about the workload (at least publicly). I was dismissed because I was the “most recent hire.” I’ve been with the company for 3 years.
I realized that the fear of being jobless I held for so long had turned into anger. For the past 24 hours, I wished for the most vile things happen to the people that dropped me like trash. I’m also feeling the same resentment towards some of my coworkers that have been reaching out. They can shove their “It was fun working with you. We’ll miss you!!” up their pathetic asses. I know they’re relieved it wasn’t them and are continuing to sit and doing nothing while taking credit of all the work others are doing for them. They don’t deserve to feel comfortable and safe as long as they’re abusing the techs.
But most of all, I’m angry at myself. For spending most of my life so scared that I willingly let others taking advantage of me. For never saying no. For working to the point where I became numb to all the physical and mental pain. Maybe if I had I actually did the bare minimum for once, I could’ve been laid off when the job market wasn’t as shit as now.
I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, but then I suddenly remember something that would have me seething to the point where I have to stop whatever I’m doing and sit down to calm myself. Just writing this post took me hours because of the amount of rant I was typing out and deleting.
Comments
Hi, I worked as a lab tech for a startup biotech company for two years. The technology was not panning out and they burned their money trying to be like the more established company by leasing their own building, big mistake. Like you, I worked 12 hours days and was actually commended for my work by getting the biggest bonus of all the techs the second year. Well, that didn’t last long because they laid off half of the company, I included. What I learned from the experience: We are all replaceable and disposable in the eyes of our employers, at least the ones I have worked for. Develop your skills, build networks, set aside some emergency funds, and get your CV ready. Don’t take it personally because it’s not you. Sometimes the economics don’t work out and someone has to get axed and it so happens to include you. Move forward and don’t look back.
It’s normal. First stage of grief over a loss is anger.