*on mobile, sorry. And hopefully this is the right way to ask this question.
I (23f) met a man (26m), we’ve know each other for 2 weeks, and im not kidding when I say half of the time we’ve know eachother, has been in person dates. We have so much in common, sitting in silence is comfortable, he is such a gentleman, and overall it’s been a wonderful time. I could go on but I’ll spare you.
Only relationships I’ve been in have been not great, under not great circumstances. This feels much different than what I’ve experienced before. It feels so soon but I already really.. really like this guy. I’m unsure if my feeling are moving a little too fast, what if I’m unintentionally love bombing?? When did you feel the “this could be my person” moment? I feel like in movies it happens early and is unrealistic, but then again, I think that’s how I’m feeling.
Maybe I’m just spiraling. I’m confused with my feelings. How long did it take for yall to know, this the one?
TL;DR: I really like a guy and I want to hear how long it took yall to realize your partner was your person?
Comments
At least 3 months, some 6 months+
2 weeks, you hardly know someone.
If they’re your person, it’s better not to rush, as you’ll end up together anyway.
I consider love to be an active commitment, not something that happens to me.
Have you met some of his family, friends, and coworkers? Have you observed how he treats people in service and labor positions and how he treats people with wealth and power? Have you talked about your future career plans and where & how you each want to live? Have you compared your ideas on education, social responsibility, and romantic & sexual partnership?
After two weeks and almost no real information, what you are feeling is normal, everyday infatuation. You are projecting your hopes and fantasies on him. We all do it. Just remember that reality may be very different.
Youre using love bombing wrong. Please stop using that term if you dont know what it means. It means something much bigger than the way youre using it. Youre just crushing hard. Theres nothing problematic there. Love bombing is manipulative affection to keep someone trapped in a problematic (or already abusive) relationship after beating them down emotionally.
You dont know this person after 2 weeks. Its fine to like someone. Its fine to be lustful and excited and want to know him more. Its fine to recognize this feels different. But you dont love this person. Realistically, you wont know them well for minimum 6 months. Im not sure why youre trying to make it something else. Early stages and the possibility and having strong feelings being excited about someone is still really great. Let it be that. It doesnt have to be love yet in order to be something special to you.
I took me until after months of endless conversation and our first date with someone I’d known for 30+ years (but didn’t talk to for most of them) unfortunately she ended up going back to her toxic ex.
There is no time limit or threshold on love. I don’t subscribe to the idea that you shouldn’t say/think it before X months or X years.
There have been people who said “I love you” after years and then cheated on their partners 2 weeks later.
There have been people who said “I love you” after 3 weeks, got married within a year and will be celebrating their 25 year anniversary soon.
Feeling love is human. It also changes and grows. It’s ok for your love to be mostly attraction, appreciation, infatuation and giddyness for now. In the future, it can shift and change into something far deeper. Love of a person’s soul. The want to see them succeed and live happily. The want to see them never experience a moment of pain or dullness. Love of their values, their principles, their kindness, their voice, their wrinkles and the sacrifices they make for their loved ones.
If you ask me, say it if and when you can’t hold it in. A lot of people stupidly cling to the idea that it would make you look weak or needy or naive or stupid or crazy. Screw that. This world is depressing enough, let a little fairy tale in your life. Just don’t let it cloud your better judgement.