I will try to keep things brief, so please give me grace if there seems to be missing details. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and 1/2 years. He’s great and we have had a very healthy, loving relationship.
We are nearing the end of our lease and he graduates college in a month. Having discussed our futures, he has stated he wants kids while I don’t. We had originally decided to breakup, but then decided not to, hoping the other would change their mind in the future.
However, I have been thinking that maybe we should for other reasons as well. I am asexual/hormones out of whack, so we are not intimate that often. It feels kind of unfair to him (although he has never said that and said he doesn’t care whether or not it happens). When we do kiss or do anything, I feel kind of grossed out. I don’t find myself being that attracted to him, although he can look cute sometimes. I am even more attracted to his friends, which I am not proud to admit.
He is a great person and boyfriend, very unlike a typical man. I feel very safe with him and I know we could create a comfortable life together, although I’m wondering if we would be settling for each other when we both want more. He is my first real relationship and I’m afraid to let that go for fear of a “grass is greener on the other side” situation. I also do love him very much.
TL;DR: I’m not super into my bf and we have differing opinions on kids. Should we breakup?
Comments
just because he’s a great person and boyfriend doesn’t mean he’s a great boyfriend for you, yes you should absolutely break up imo. the two of you sound fundamentally incompatible and would probably be better off as friends
Sounds like you really care about him, but deep down you’re starting to feel like you might not be fully compatible long term. That’s not a bad thing — it’s just honest. If big things like attraction and kids are already tough topics, it might be time to think about what’s really best for both of you.
Sounds like you don’t want this anymore.