TLDR: I am always willing to change bad habits when my (27F) girlfriend asks me (23M) to, but whenever I ask the same of her nothing changes.
I have been in a relationship with her for over 2 years and ever since I met her she hasn’t been the most forgiving when it mattered. Over that time I have told her of every single grevince I’ve had with her in a calm and peaceful tone to see if she would make a change (because holding things like that in creates resentment). That goes from: never putting empty toilet rolls in the bin, to putting rubbish in (not on top of) the bin, leaving all her clothes all throughout the house, to constantly bother me/never respecting my work time (as I work from home). On every single occassion when she has politely asked me to stop doing something I stick it in my brain and try my best to never do it again (majority of the time I don’t (probably trauma related)) so I wouldn’t call myself a careless person. But I’ve been casually mentioning all of the above and more every few weeks since I met her and nothing has changed.
The biggest issue I’ve had which I’ve mentioned hundreds of times is that my partner insists on going to bed at the same time as me but then goes on her phone for hours on end while I’m trying to sleep. I’m very sensitive to light in the bedroom and I even tried getting a sleeping mask because she never stopped (but I pull it off soon after sleeping). She’s told me in the past its to talk to her friends or to read, which she told me she never gets to do in her own time (an excuse). She could quite easily go to the living room and do so but she never has before.
I have a medical condition called fibromyalgia similar to the more known chronic fatigue syndrome and shes known the entire relationship. So you would think she would at LEAST sacrifice it ever so often to make sure I can get as good of a sleep as is even possible for me. But nope, this never happens. The only “ok” nights sleep I get is when she has had a long day at work and wants to go to bed early. But in reality I haven’t had a rejuvinating nights sleep for nearly 5 years so it would be nice to be respected at least for that one.
She is much older than me so it feels like carelessness. What you think?
I’ll answer any queries on this when I have time. Any help is appreciated 🙏
Comments
Older woman, younger man. Don’t even have to read the post.
I was in a relationship like that once… ONCE! Get out. Most women aren’t like this.
Also… you’re 23, you haven’t slept well for 5… how old were you when you got together????