My girlfriend and I have got a few plans for later in the year. We live in the UK and there’s a few music artists were going to see and a couple of festivals between May-June then we’re looking at going on holiday in June or July.
My mum was diagnosed with cancer last year and she unfortunately got worse tepidly this month and passed away a couple of days ago.
I told my gf I’m not going to be in the right headspace to go away for a few months so the plans we’ve gotten will have to be cancelled or she can go on her own or sell my tickets to a friend.
My girlfriend said I am putting my life on hold when I shouldn’t be. I just repeated what i had already said. I told her no one is stopping her going but I won’t be there.
She just again said I shouldn’t be putting my life on hold and pointed out my sister had recently been on holiday.
Does anyone have any advice on how to approach the situation or any other perspectives on it?
Tl;dr my girlfriend was insensitive when I said I’d have to cancel plans we have due to my mum passing away.
Comments
She sounds fairly insensitive, but she’s shown you the type of person that she is. Either you can confront her on her behavior towards you and call her out on not being there for emotional support you simply leave because she’s shown you the type of person she is.
She’s invalidated how you felt in a crucial moment of your life, do you want that to continue for the rest of it?
I’m sorry. Your mother died and your girlfriend thinks you’re putting your life on hold because you’re grieving? Wow. Not good on empathy that one, is she? She can go fuck herself. You take your time and grieve your mother, bud. I’m very sorry for your loss. If my mother died, getting out of bed would be ny biggest achievement.
This is the person she is because this is the person she chooses to be.
You can’t change her.
So what you have to do is decide whether a person who thinks that “you needing to cope with some pretty major feelings because your mother died” is taking too much away from her.
Just how self-centered of a girlfriend do you want?