Help: coworker no-showed, car is at her ex/stalker’s house this am

r/

Hey everyone. A coworker of mine no showed this morning. This is very unlike her- she’s super responsible. She’s gone completely radio silent, turned off her location (we need it on for our job) and her phone is off. Her family member drove by her ex’s house and saw her car outside this morning.

She has a restraining order against her ex. I don’t know the details, but it was not a good scene apparently. So the fact that her car is there is extremely troubling.

Her family member has not knocked on the door. I want to tell them that they need to try to get in, but what are our options? If she drove herself there, allegedly, would the police even respond?

My fear is that she did not drive herself there and that her ex knew where she was going to be last night and somehow brought her there.

Any advice is welcome. I’m not close to my coworker, but if I can give the family members something to work with, it would be so helpful. Thank you so much.

Update: family is going over with police. Hoping for the best.

Comments

  1. redbosc Avatar

    Call the police.

  2. snorkeldream Avatar

    Police, inform them of the protection order and request a welfare check.  Done.

  3. mschuster91 Avatar

    >Her family member has not knocked on the door. I want to tell them that they need to try to get in, but what are our options? If she drove herself there, allegedly, would the police even respond?

    Family member or your HR rep has to inform police and ask for a wellness check.

  4. WildNorth8 Avatar

    Welfare check by the police. Call them ASAP. Thanks for being concerned for her

  5. m0nster6884 Avatar

    Call the police right now. Don’t wait. Make sure it is crystal clear that her car is parked outside the home of someone she has an active restraining order against.

  6. Autodidact2 Avatar

    Now we’re worried. Would you be so kind as to update us?

  7. Secure-Force-9387 Avatar

    Not to scare you, but I did have this happen to a co-worker once and the final outcome was less than ideal. Hopefully, the outcome here is much more positive. Please have family or HR call the police.

  8. Squibit314 Avatar

    Call the police and ask for a welfare check.

  9. BlueValk Avatar

    Thank you for caring. I hope she can be ok

  10. Beanz4ever Avatar

    Welfare check immediately

  11. TootsNYC Avatar

    it is possible that she drove herself there; people do forget the reasons why they have a restraining order, and hook up with their ex/stalker.

    But it is also important to look out for her welfare; I think you can call the police yourself, but HR will have a lot more credibility than you will, and while the police might blow you off, they’ll be more likely to follow through on a wellness check from her employers.

  12. YasUnicorn79 Avatar

    Call the police asap. Ask for a wellness check and make it very, very clear that she is in danger.

    Anyone can call a wellness check in, doesn’t have to even be related to work. For example, my elderly neighbor hadn’t contacted his family back – wellness check- he was fine, just out of contact.

    I also called a check in for a coworker in my early 20s. She was never late and had an abusive spouse. Turns out that day they were happy and running away, trying to ghost on work and landlords. 🤣

    Good luck, document everything, and don’t go over there yourselves or send anyone else. He could be armed or family may see something no family ever should.

  13. oldfrancis Avatar

    Call the police, ask for a welfare check, tell them the situation of the DV…

  14. Blueslide60 Avatar

    Thank you for caring enough to take action. I know there’s a strong “mind your own business” in our society. But a healthy dose of love thy neighbor should never be denied.

  15. bionicfeetgrl Avatar

    You can always call in a welfare check on someone. You basically tell them that your coworker is reliable and consistent and she has a restraining order against this person and her car is sitting in the driveway & she’s not answering the phone.

    Good luck & keep us posted. I pray for her safety

  16. hotheadnchickn Avatar

    RemindMe! 2 days 

  17. BrainyRN Avatar

    Welfare check NOW.

  18. smile_saurus Avatar

    Call 911. I am a 911 Dispatcher.

    Tell them you want a welfare check for a colleague and would also like to report a possible order of protection violation.

    Give them her name, DOB if you know it, and the make/model/color of her vehicle, plus his info such as his name and address. If there is a valid order of protection, the police can find that out quite easily.

    Be sure to tell them that this is uncharacteristic of her to not call or not show up for work and that you fear for her safety.

    The police may also be capable of tracking her phone, so give them the number if you have it, too.

  19. nycsep Avatar

    Call police for welfare check. EDIT: RIGHT NOW!

    Immediately give the address when they pick up because that starts the process of knowing where they need to go. Tell them her name, the situation, your concerns and why. Give them his name as well. Tell them there is record of a no-contact they can access if need be. Let us know if need more help

  20. ArmFallOffBoy Avatar

    RemindMe! 2 day

  21. BarkandHoot Avatar

    RemindMe! 2 days

  22. futureblot Avatar

    Involve the authorities

  23. Jinxed_Pixie Avatar

    Commenting so I can get updates