I was hanging out w this girl I’ve had a crush on for years. We got drunk af and danced at the club for hours. It was like our 5th time hanging out and she wanted to get a hotel w me. I finally had the chance to have sex w her. We got to the hotel but when we got there she went to the bathroom and started puking which made me want to puke. I passed out while she was in the bathroom. I woke up w all my clothes and my boots on. She left in the morning and I never saw her again:(
Yeah, my hip dislocated. This has happened 5X so far. I had a double hip replacement at 27. Humbling experience as the paramedics have to show up because I cannot move and am in extreme pain till the ER sets it back in.
Def had my soul sucked out me so good that I farted which happened to smell like egg. The smell was unbearable and it was a SBD(Silent but deadly) . She asked and we both bussed out laughing. Also attempted anal sex in the shower , and it started smelling st8 like 💩. Not sure if she had to poop or I should have waited longer , but when I rinsed my wood, the 💦 turned brown for a sec. Haven’t been in the dookie shoot since. That was like 2019.
One time I was eating it from the back and I guess she was enjoying herself so much that she tooted right on my nose. I broke out laughing but she got really distraught because she thought I was gonna break up with her because of that…
Horny teenage me decided to get freaky and fck my gf with a popsicle.. as you can imagine it melted after a few minutes and ended up in a syrupy mess all over the floor.. but also turns out the wooden stick scratched her and she started bleeding.. oops
Said the wrong name. Had recently gotten out of a long term relationship and was so used to saying his name, that I was weirdly on autopilot and it was an accident. I didn’t WANT to say his name and was horrified and apologized profusely. He forgave me.
Edit to include they both had 4 letter names ending in Y. It was 20 years ago and I still think about it.
He accidentally called his dad. His dad never answers the phone so he ended up with a very, uh, intimate voicemail. That was over 10 years ago and it still makes me cringe.
Yeah, my wife and I were doing it doggie style once. And really getting into it. Too much. On one back stroke I exited one hole and on the forward stroke fully seated into the other one.
Ohhhh, it was not good. She said curse words I didn’t even know she knew. Spun around like an angry lioness and commenced trying to beat the crap out of me. She wasn’t believing it was an accident.
I had to make it a point to sleep on my back for the next week or so. I knew her. Until she got over it, it was not safe for me to leave my own asshole exposed and vulnerable.
My ex was born with major defects in his knees. He had had ~20 surgeries between them before I met him, but you really wouldnt know ubless he told you about it. The first time we hooked up we were pretty tipsy and he dislocated his knee while behind me. I was pretty oblivious and just casually asked if he needed a minute or was ready to get back to it while he was in horrific pain and trying not to completely freak out about his very major and serious injury that could have resulted in very major implications for his future. Fortunately he was okay, but he brought up my very dismissive response to what he described as “as much pain as I’ve ever been in” pretty often for the duration of our relationship.
Me and a buddy of mine stayed at an Airbnb years ago. We were catching up, and after a few drinks, we ended up drunk and horny. Fast forward, we were back at the Airbnb, and we made it up to our room. I thought I shut the but apparently I didn’t. Well, I happened to look up as my friend is face down ass up with me nailing her, and the host is just watching. She darted away, and I returned to the deed. My friend had no idea any of that transpired. It was awkward as hell the remainder of the stay, though.
Waking him up with it (like he asked) and it was great until about 5 mins in. I went back down too hard and bent it in a no no direction and hit his balls in the process. lol at like 5am. Ruined his dream by accident.
Ah to be yound again. I once had sex with my dancer girlfriend in an impossible position and broke my penis. Yep, ejaculated, or tried to ejaculate and the path through my penix was blocked. Hurt like hell and when I pulled out to check it, I was bleeding out the end of my dick. Actually went to the emergency room to have it checked out. My girlfriend nearly passed out from trying not to laugh. Anyway, after the doctor proposed a catheter to prevent a fusing to the walls of the urethra, I just left, my girlfriend still laughing. Turns out later in life, the backup of the ejaculate that was mixed with blood might have travelled back into my prostate which caused my protatitus now. You gotta be careful with dancers….very agile.
Wife was on top. She’s lost quite a bit of weight recently and I’ve lost a little. Apparently, that’s opened up more “access” to her and she hit herself in the cervix with me.
One time during intense doggy style sex, i accidentally put it in her butt. She screamed briefly and then turned around and slapped me. She then turned back around and put my dick back her in vagina carried on with our another word.
I was vigorously fingering my gf once on the bedroom floor. After 3 back to back orgasms (she could cum super easy) she shat herself slightly. The poor girl was absolutely mortified
Hopped into bed after my wife made fresh salsa with jalapeños from the garden. Unfortunately, she still had some jalapeño juice on her hands. Things got really, really painfully hot very quickly. Like on fire hot!
Yep, was going at it with my back then gf and was close to finishing when I noticed my laptop starting to fall off the bed in the corner of my eye. Instant panic, I grabbed it clumsily and fell off the bed, saving the laptop and for the first and only time of my life ejaculated without orgasming. The panic just overrode all sensations I could have had.
Sex standing up in the shower. Her legs wrapped around me. She orgasmed, hyperventilated and lost consciousness. I now have her dead weight on my dick. What do I do? The penis isn’t a structural element. It isn’t made to carry loads (not like that). What do I do? Do I drop her, or do I let my dick snap off?
I fell to the ground with her. She was still unconscious, so I called an ambulance. I had to try and dress her (and myself) before it arrived. The paramedics, the triage nurse and two separate doctors asked the same question. What was she doing when she lost consciousness? I had to explain it every time…
Luckily she got the all clear and was able to come straight home. I don’t think I could have faced visiting her in that hospital if they kept her in.
To her it’s just a funny story. To me it’s still awkward to think about. And no. Not one medical professional that day even thought to ask about the condition of my dick.
This one is much less exciting than everyone else. I was performing oral sex on a male, he was really enjoying it and wanted to be much more vigorous.
That’s okay, gagging is fine, but he did it so much and so often, the next day, according to google, I had torn my lateral muscles. They hurt so bad. Went to the doctor and had to explain my back pain and got some serious muscle relaxants. It’s been a month and I still have a twinge of pain more than occasionally.
I don’t know if it’s exactly “oops” but one time me and a friend of mine were doing it, it was really intense, I had her under me with one hand on her neck (she liked it at the time), then we were both about to cum and in the heat of the moment I put my other hand on her neck and squeezed… I haven’t put my hands on her neck during sex since that day…
We were doing standing doggy in a jacuzzi style bathtub. We slipped, and fell down. It came out on the way down and went back in the back door once we both landed. Pile driver move into the 🍩
I met this really handsome guy and he asked me out on a date. We flirted back and forth on the phone and text before finally meeting. On the first date, he managed to charm me and take me to his apartment. In few minutes, he had me on my fours, ready in anticipation to be taken. But to my surprise, he maybe gave like 2 thrust, not even completely before unloading inside me. He was so embarrassed he left and avoided me after. It was funny but pretty oops moment
Tried handcuffs once. Broke the headboard off while she was on top, fell with it, and banged my head on the nightstand. I lay sprawled out like I was crucified, I was bleeding, laughing, and still horny.
We were doin it doggy style, she thought I said something, I was leaning in to kiss her neck and she turned to ask me what I said and my forehead collided with her temple. She got knocked out instantly and came to a second later and then we were in concussion protocol for the rest of the night.
Had prone bone sex with a girl and was really feeling my groove, she seemed vaguely disinterested but every time I asked if she wanted me to stop she’d say no. We had a debrief afterwards and it was only then she told me I’d been fucking her leg the whole time.
Both of us have hoop nose rings and well, it was quite the predicament when we realized they hooked together. Trying to get them unhooked while laughing uncontrollably was interesting. 🤣🤣🤣
Was having sex in the loft of our cabin. My wife was on top and was going to town on me when first the bed broke and then we went over the railing. She hit the couch and I still have scars from Landing on antique lamp.
Was using a condom that had numbing agent on it so I’d last longer. She decided she wanted to give me some head and removed the condom to do so. After a few moments she sits up and mumbles, “Dith your conthom have nubbing lube?”
Didn’t research how to properly use anal beads. Used them on my boyfriend at the time, and when he ejaculated, I ripped them out like I was starting a lawn mower. I’m just glad the lights were off so I didn’t have to see the end result… he banished me from the bedroom while he cleaned up the mess.
Comments
Unintentional anal. And been puked on twice when getting head.
9 month surprise
As a bottom, I’ve definitely farted on a few dicks. One guy left
If you aren’t pushing your limits a little, you should try it. This definitely results in unforeseen consequences occasionally.
I did get barfed on a couple of times. Once was oral sex gone wrong. The other was just a sudden barf that she did for no apparent reason.
Flat underside of tongue ring gently? Pinched a piece of skin off of my man part.. pain 7/10 would not recommend
Pffft come on how much could she actually squirOHMYGODITSEVERYWHEREHOWISTHERETHATMUCHWHEREDIDITCOMEFROM?!?!
Wrong hole.
Accidental urine in partner’s mouth 🥲
Not really an oops but got a bloody nose during with my girlfriend and managed to stop it covertly and keep going. We’ve been married 8 years now
Sex while cooking, burned my dick on a hot pan.
Ended up with ramen noodles puked into my lap, also got my bed pissed on
Had a few condoms come off inside of me, those are more like oh shit, than oops.
The almost common “unintentional” poke in the bum on several occasions.
Almost broke his 🍆 bouncing a little to high on top and missing on the way down. Oops.
I was hanging out w this girl I’ve had a crush on for years. We got drunk af and danced at the club for hours. It was like our 5th time hanging out and she wanted to get a hotel w me. I finally had the chance to have sex w her. We got to the hotel but when we got there she went to the bathroom and started puking which made me want to puke. I passed out while she was in the bathroom. I woke up w all my clothes and my boots on. She left in the morning and I never saw her again:(
When I was dating my ex wife, my fingernails were a tiny bit long and cut her in her nether regions. It bled a LOT!
Yeah, my hip dislocated. This has happened 5X so far. I had a double hip replacement at 27. Humbling experience as the paramedics have to show up because I cannot move and am in extreme pain till the ER sets it back in.
Def had my soul sucked out me so good that I farted which happened to smell like egg. The smell was unbearable and it was a SBD(Silent but deadly) . She asked and we both bussed out laughing. Also attempted anal sex in the shower , and it started smelling st8 like 💩. Not sure if she had to poop or I should have waited longer , but when I rinsed my wood, the 💦 turned brown for a sec. Haven’t been in the dookie shoot since. That was like 2019.
Yeah, during my first time, after 4 seconds.
One time I was eating it from the back and I guess she was enjoying herself so much that she tooted right on my nose. I broke out laughing but she got really distraught because she thought I was gonna break up with her because of that…
Ah the good ol days.
Horny teenage me decided to get freaky and fck my gf with a popsicle.. as you can imagine it melted after a few minutes and ended up in a syrupy mess all over the floor.. but also turns out the wooden stick scratched her and she started bleeding.. oops
Yes, about a week ago the butt plug almost got lost in my ass …
I am a big enjoyer of spices foods… let’s just say me and my girlfriends clits have both been victimized by a habanero or two.
Said the wrong name. Had recently gotten out of a long term relationship and was so used to saying his name, that I was weirdly on autopilot and it was an accident. I didn’t WANT to say his name and was horrified and apologized profusely. He forgave me.
Edit to include they both had 4 letter names ending in Y. It was 20 years ago and I still think about it.
He accidentally called his dad. His dad never answers the phone so he ended up with a very, uh, intimate voicemail. That was over 10 years ago and it still makes me cringe.
Yeah, my wife and I were doing it doggie style once. And really getting into it. Too much. On one back stroke I exited one hole and on the forward stroke fully seated into the other one.
Ohhhh, it was not good. She said curse words I didn’t even know she knew. Spun around like an angry lioness and commenced trying to beat the crap out of me. She wasn’t believing it was an accident.
I had to make it a point to sleep on my back for the next week or so. I knew her. Until she got over it, it was not safe for me to leave my own asshole exposed and vulnerable.
Tore the Banjo string clean off. So much blood!
During a bout of 69, my wife hit the center of my forehead with a fart. Laughter ensued, but sex was over.
My ex was born with major defects in his knees. He had had ~20 surgeries between them before I met him, but you really wouldnt know ubless he told you about it. The first time we hooked up we were pretty tipsy and he dislocated his knee while behind me. I was pretty oblivious and just casually asked if he needed a minute or was ready to get back to it while he was in horrific pain and trying not to completely freak out about his very major and serious injury that could have resulted in very major implications for his future. Fortunately he was okay, but he brought up my very dismissive response to what he described as “as much pain as I’ve ever been in” pretty often for the duration of our relationship.
Me and a buddy of mine stayed at an Airbnb years ago. We were catching up, and after a few drinks, we ended up drunk and horny. Fast forward, we were back at the Airbnb, and we made it up to our room. I thought I shut the but apparently I didn’t. Well, I happened to look up as my friend is face down ass up with me nailing her, and the host is just watching. She darted away, and I returned to the deed. My friend had no idea any of that transpired. It was awkward as hell the remainder of the stay, though.
Waking him up with it (like he asked) and it was great until about 5 mins in. I went back down too hard and bent it in a no no direction and hit his balls in the process. lol at like 5am. Ruined his dream by accident.
Ah to be yound again. I once had sex with my dancer girlfriend in an impossible position and broke my penis. Yep, ejaculated, or tried to ejaculate and the path through my penix was blocked. Hurt like hell and when I pulled out to check it, I was bleeding out the end of my dick. Actually went to the emergency room to have it checked out. My girlfriend nearly passed out from trying not to laugh. Anyway, after the doctor proposed a catheter to prevent a fusing to the walls of the urethra, I just left, my girlfriend still laughing. Turns out later in life, the backup of the ejaculate that was mixed with blood might have travelled back into my prostate which caused my protatitus now. You gotta be careful with dancers….very agile.
Wife was on top. She’s lost quite a bit of weight recently and I’ve lost a little. Apparently, that’s opened up more “access” to her and she hit herself in the cervix with me.
Had to change positions.
I fell asleep when he went to the bathroom.
Let’s just say I know what it’s like to have menstrual blood on your chin due to the fact that I went down on her the day she got her period 😬
I was masturbating, not having sex with someone else – but I did accidentally gas myself with a vibrator, once.
I sneezed and huge booger came out of my nose. Needless to say my wife was not impressed. Wife farted when i was about to cum.
My ex girlfriend had a little… Accident.. one time when we did anal… There was a lot of washing up afterwards…
You need to have sex for one of those.😔
One time during intense doggy style sex, i accidentally put it in her butt. She screamed briefly and then turned around and slapped me. She then turned back around and put my dick back her in vagina carried on with our another word.
I was vigorously fingering my gf once on the bedroom floor. After 3 back to back orgasms (she could cum super easy) she shat herself slightly. The poor girl was absolutely mortified
Condom came off inside her and I had to go get it. She was mortified…
She squirted in my mouth. I reflexively threw up. On her. She was not impressed.
Hopped into bed after my wife made fresh salsa with jalapeños from the garden. Unfortunately, she still had some jalapeño juice on her hands. Things got really, really painfully hot very quickly. Like on fire hot!
Sex while cooking….set fire to the kitchen. Oil fire too…she tried to throw water on it but I managed to tackle her first…
Accidentally vomited on my partner’s dick while giving him a blowjob. He wasn’t mad at me and found it funny.
Yep, was going at it with my back then gf and was close to finishing when I noticed my laptop starting to fall off the bed in the corner of my eye. Instant panic, I grabbed it clumsily and fell off the bed, saving the laptop and for the first and only time of my life ejaculated without orgasming. The panic just overrode all sensations I could have had.
But we had a good laugh about it 😀
Sex standing up in the shower. Her legs wrapped around me. She orgasmed, hyperventilated and lost consciousness. I now have her dead weight on my dick. What do I do? The penis isn’t a structural element. It isn’t made to carry loads (not like that). What do I do? Do I drop her, or do I let my dick snap off?
I fell to the ground with her. She was still unconscious, so I called an ambulance. I had to try and dress her (and myself) before it arrived. The paramedics, the triage nurse and two separate doctors asked the same question. What was she doing when she lost consciousness? I had to explain it every time…
Luckily she got the all clear and was able to come straight home. I don’t think I could have faced visiting her in that hospital if they kept her in.
To her it’s just a funny story. To me it’s still awkward to think about. And no. Not one medical professional that day even thought to ask about the condition of my dick.
First time I had a lady about I effing knocked her out with my ellbow while switching positions.
That was not a nice evening.
Virgin people are taking notes
I woke up.
Like I was sleep shagging and she didn’t realise I wasn’t awake. I came to on the job and was like ‘What am I doing up here’
I had to tell a man that I was fucking in the ass with a dildo he was ‘messy’ , he went & showered whilst apologising
Tried anal and tried to use alcohol as lubricant. Yes it didn’t work. Yes I was v yOung.
Yeh I met this girl in Thailand. She started kissing me and I thought to myself “oh please don’t get a stiffy”, and then she did.
This one is much less exciting than everyone else. I was performing oral sex on a male, he was really enjoying it and wanted to be much more vigorous.
That’s okay, gagging is fine, but he did it so much and so often, the next day, according to google, I had torn my lateral muscles. They hurt so bad. Went to the doctor and had to explain my back pain and got some serious muscle relaxants. It’s been a month and I still have a twinge of pain more than occasionally.
I don’t know if it’s exactly “oops” but one time me and a friend of mine were doing it, it was really intense, I had her under me with one hand on her neck (she liked it at the time), then we were both about to cum and in the heat of the moment I put my other hand on her neck and squeezed… I haven’t put my hands on her neck during sex since that day…
Broke my banjo string, blood everywhere.
It looked like a crime scene.
I’m still not sure why the hotel didn’t charge me a cleaning fee.
I still paid the girl, and we actually ended up in a relationship for a year until about three weeks ago when she pulled a knife on me.
Fucking Thailand, man…
We were doing standing doggy in a jacuzzi style bathtub. We slipped, and fell down. It came out on the way down and went back in the back door once we both landed. Pile driver move into the 🍩
Wait other people have sex that’s not entirely comprised of “oops” moments???
I met this really handsome guy and he asked me out on a date. We flirted back and forth on the phone and text before finally meeting. On the first date, he managed to charm me and take me to his apartment. In few minutes, he had me on my fours, ready in anticipation to be taken. But to my surprise, he maybe gave like 2 thrust, not even completely before unloading inside me. He was so embarrassed he left and avoided me after. It was funny but pretty oops moment
Tried handcuffs once. Broke the headboard off while she was on top, fell with it, and banged my head on the nightstand. I lay sprawled out like I was crucified, I was bleeding, laughing, and still horny.
We were doin it doggy style, she thought I said something, I was leaning in to kiss her neck and she turned to ask me what I said and my forehead collided with her temple. She got knocked out instantly and came to a second later and then we were in concussion protocol for the rest of the night.
Yes, he’ll be 16 next month.
Her on top, went as far down as she could, split my foreskin apart to the point I had to get circumcised
Had prone bone sex with a girl and was really feeling my groove, she seemed vaguely disinterested but every time I asked if she wanted me to stop she’d say no. We had a debrief afterwards and it was only then she told me I’d been fucking her leg the whole time.
I got a Linkedin notification on my phone from a random man named “Garry” for a business opportunity
Me and my girlfriend were about to do missionary and I yelled at the top of my lungs “not now Garry I’m in the middle of something!”
We couldn’t stop laughing for a good 3 minutes and she kept moaning “Oooo Garry” throughout the night
Both of us have hoop nose rings and well, it was quite the predicament when we realized they hooked together. Trying to get them unhooked while laughing uncontrollably was interesting. 🤣🤣🤣
Was having sex in the loft of our cabin. My wife was on top and was going to town on me when first the bed broke and then we went over the railing. She hit the couch and I still have scars from Landing on antique lamp.
Yep and they both have names.
Yes and he’s now 3 years old and my wife and I love him dearly
Oh yeah! I picked a chick up that was riding me and popped a hernia. Took a breather and still finished the job. I was 24ish.
Got it repaired about 6 months later. The doc said he’s going to write the cause as “bedroom acrobatics” so now that’s perma on my chart.
Worth it.
Telling my partner how beautiful she is during being intimate. Her response, “yeah, but I’ve seen your other girlfriends”…
Was using a condom that had numbing agent on it so I’d last longer. She decided she wanted to give me some head and removed the condom to do so. After a few moments she sits up and mumbles, “Dith your conthom have nubbing lube?”
We died laughing about it.
Didn’t research how to properly use anal beads. Used them on my boyfriend at the time, and when he ejaculated, I ripped them out like I was starting a lawn mower. I’m just glad the lights were off so I didn’t have to see the end result… he banished me from the bedroom while he cleaned up the mess.